Taylor Tries To Wake Up Comatose Team Mates

22 year-old local lad Steven Taylor has tried to wake up some of his team mates to the distinct possibility the club may be relegated in May.


Steven Taylor– rallying call to some of his comatose team mates

Steven spoke today about what’s needed for his home town club to stay up:

“It has been difficult, but we now have to look to our fighting spirit.” “That is what we need to do from now until the end of the season.” “It is a real test of character, and we have to show just how much it means to everybody.”

“We have to show just what it means to pull on a black-and-white jersey and it is up to the players who get the chance to show some passion.”

“We need to show the fans just how much it means to play for this club, because at the end of the day that is all it boils down to.”

“It has come to the stage now where we know we are not in the best position.” “We have to look at ourselves in the mirror and try and put things right.”

“There is no point in looking for excuses.” “We need to go out and fight as a team and not on single terms.” “In recent weeks I don’t think we have done that.”

“The Blackburn game was the closest we have come to battling for each other.” “At Anfield we did well for 42 minutes but Liverpool got that bounce with the freak goal.”

“We had the Liverpool fans quiet. which does not normally happen.” “We went there to try to get a point, but it did not work out for us.”

“We now have to go out on the training ground and work on it and put this to bed. It will be tough, but we know we have the players to do it.” “We have players who have played in all kinds of situations.”

“We have players who have played in the Champions League and the World Cup.” “We have to make that show and every one of the final nine games is a massive game for us now.”

We appreciate what Steven is trying to do here. But he’s not one of the players we are worried about in terms of effort, although his recent play hasn’t been up to his best standards of the season, as many of our readers have rightly pointed out.

But we want to see the players do their talking on the pitch. As Bob Moncur so rightly said yesterday, talk is cheap.

The players need to show pride and passion on the field.

When they do that we’ll acknowledge it – but it’s been a long long time since a talented Newcastle United side like we have has struggled so much to produce 100% effort in their games.

We’ll have to unload quite a few of these stars in the summer, that’s an absolute certainty. Kevin may have to bring in more than 5 players too, once he’s unloaded those that deserve to be dispatched out of the club in the summer.

One of our avid readers recently identified 10 players to go and 10 that can come in to replace them – it looked great to us.

We assume those Newcastle players know who they are, and they will at least be trying a lot harder in our last 11 games.

But we’ll just have to wait see, and we’re not holding our breath because of all the disappointments we’ve had to endure lately.

In fact, the brutal and unvarnished truth is we’re disgusted with the efforts of some of our players since Kevin arrived.   🙁

64 comments so far

  • toonhitman

    Mar 12, 2008 at 3:02 PM

    Comment #1

    try some smelling salts if that fails a good kick in the knackers might sort it

  • cloudstrife

    Mar 12, 2008 at 3:04 PM

    Comment #2

    about time someone noticed!! KK seems so focused on next season when he’ll buy ‘his’ people. ya, in the Championship!

  • Stami

    Mar 12, 2008 at 3:06 PM

    Comment #3

    i 2nd the kick in the nuts…

  • Graham

    Mar 12, 2008 at 3:10 PM

    Comment #4

    Is it just me or is half the Newcastle team (Taylor especially in recent weeks) in a competition to see who can get interviewd the most?

    All this we must do this and were better than that is just bullshit. Keep your heads down or you’ll end up getting them blown off!

  • Davies

    Mar 12, 2008 at 3:17 PM

    Comment #5

    Too much time talking, particularly for Mr Taylor. It’s all well and good admitting that the team has been crap, and saying that you need to do something about, but where’s the f*cking results.

    Stop talking and start playing the football you are payed obscene money to play.

    When all is said and done, these players will be safe in new jobs with big wages if we get relegated. The only prople who will have to live with being a championship side are the supporters. We have given this team more committment than the majority of players pulling on the stripes.

    WAKE UP!!!!


    Mar 12, 2008 at 3:20 PM

    Comment #6

    ED, I read today an aritcle saying that MILNER has not passed yet fitness test? true? If yes…oh no, do not play SMITH please!!

    Another newspaper (shieldgazette) stated that the mackems may prepare a bid to take SMITH? Well hell I hope it’s true!!

  • Eric

    Mar 12, 2008 at 3:27 PM

    Comment #7

    Do the media make a beeline for Taylor? Owen too? Who appointed them club spokesmen? Is Taylor winding us up or has he got the wind up?
    Let your feet do the talking or your feet will do the walking alongside the summer clearout jessies. Right about the jersey though – there’s too many in the team who should never be allowed to pull it on!

  • Clive

    Mar 12, 2008 at 3:30 PM

    Comment #8

    Taylor should stop being rent-a-gob for the Chronicle and concentrate on defending, he gets away with murder just coz he’s a Geordie! If Bramble had made the mistakes he has this season he’d have been crucified.

  • thelongshanks

    Mar 12, 2008 at 3:40 PM

    Comment #9

    Lubos Kalouda joining sparta.Can u blame him? great player we lost out on.

  • Tom_Toon

    Mar 12, 2008 at 3:41 PM

    Comment #10

    Sparta Prague or Rotterdam?

    Taylor needs to wake up first.

  • ToonKing

    Mar 12, 2008 at 4:07 PM

    Comment #11

    i think Prague, lol if he went to Rotterdam then we didn’t miss out on much 😀

  • Obafan

    Mar 12, 2008 at 4:08 PM

    Comment #12

    Clive – you make me really happy by saying those things about Taylor. He can do whatever he want in our defence. He makes mistake after mistake and all he does about it is:
    – laughing with it (happenned a few times already)
    – crying like a baby for a new offer (earn it first)
    – giving interviews every f*cking week (focus on the games instead of talking)

    He talks a lot, but he should wake up himself. KK needs to put him on the bench at Brum, but I can’t see it happen. The same goes for SMith and Butt, but I really can’t see it happen. KK has lost his touch from the nineties and now we have to pray that he does not the opposite from what he has done in the past.

    PAST: get us out of Championship ti the EPL
    NOW: get us into the Champinship out of the EPL

  • Tom_Toon

    Mar 12, 2008 at 4:10 PM

    Comment #13

    obafan, do you think boussoufa is to weak for the prem?

  • ObaFan2

    Mar 12, 2008 at 4:15 PM

    Comment #14

    Wish Taylor and the rest would shut up and start talking with their feet on the football pitch!!!!!

    Owen as captain can speak for the team, KK,CM and MA can talk to the press all they want imo but the rest should shut the “f” up and get on with getting 3 points per game instead of talking about it.

    As Bobby Moncur says…. talk is cheap.

  • Hammy

    Mar 12, 2008 at 5:36 PM

    Comment #15

    Taylor is crapping himself as there is no way he’ll be able to afford an 18 hole golf course in his back garden on Championship wages, poor guy will have to lower his sights and get a putting green instead ……….unless he forgets golf and gets into the compost business…he certainly talks plenty of shite.

  • carl

    Mar 12, 2008 at 5:46 PM

    Comment #16

    i really believe the match at brummie will determine whether we will go down, we need a win and nothing else.if we lose, bye bye prem

  • Nick Dryden

    Mar 12, 2008 at 6:27 PM

    Comment #17

    For me Taylor goes around like a grinning loon with a very high opinion of himself. Look at all his goal costing mistakes alone this year. Comatose describes his positional sense very well!!

  • bailey

    Mar 12, 2008 at 6:56 PM

    Comment #18

    Who is interested in what the hell Taylor has to say. He must love Anal Oliver chasing him all over for a quote or maybe it is the other way round.

  • trevo

    Mar 12, 2008 at 7:01 PM

    Comment #19

    I wish Taylor would do more interviews just as long as it keeps him away from our back four. The lad is a liability running around like a headless chicken waving his arms about in the box I’m only suprised he hasn’t conceded more penalties through hand balls this season god knows he’s gifted the oposition with so many goals is’s hard to recall them all. He needs to be rested he’s playing with his heart and not his head wish I could say that about the rest of our players.

  • Leo

    Mar 12, 2008 at 7:09 PM

    Comment #20

    kick up the knackers sounds like a good plan for the underachievers. they would soon buck there idea’s up

  • Steve_48

    Mar 12, 2008 at 7:56 PM

    Comment #21

    Pompey 1-0 up against Birmingham BTW lads, good start, gets the wind out of their sails for Monday night, Defoe penalty

    2-0 now, Defoe again come on Pompey

    2-1 now, what a <10 minutes!!!

  • Colinski

    Mar 12, 2008 at 8:09 PM

    Comment #22

    Taylor talks about them ‘looking at themselves in the mirror’ – and that is exactly what they are doing; grooming themselves, instead of playing footie.
    Play the entire reserve team for the next 2 matches and I’ll bet you would see a difference!
    And split the entire first team’s wages with them, as an incentive.

  • Leo

    Mar 12, 2008 at 8:15 PM

    Comment #23

    damn, is that match on sky? im just watching the psv tottenham match… keep us updated on the score

  • Leo

    Mar 12, 2008 at 8:20 PM

    Comment #24

    aston villa are loosing to boro at home… rip take. i can see pompey loosing now. i hate these teams that loose against teams who are there about where newcastle are… like arsenal… ffs

  • Steve_48

    Mar 12, 2008 at 8:24 PM

    Comment #25


    Pompey are well in control of this game, and Chel$ki’s Bollock has just had a goal disallowed for offside – he was by about half a yard

  • blerred

    Mar 12, 2008 at 8:24 PM

    Comment #26

    boro 1-0 up at villa…..come on o’neill, get your boys playing!!! boro really are sh!te!!!!

    in my toon opinion:
    OUT – 1.shola, 2.viduka, 3.carr, 4.butt, 5.smith, 6. cacapa (as we need to be looking to the future), 7.n’zogbia (if he wants to go and isnt 110% committed), 8.owen (if he isnt 110% committed and someone is stupid enough to pay him £110k a week)!!!, 9.barton

    IN’S: arshavin (zenit), jo (cska), ashton, muntari, v.d.vaart (hamburg), kallstrom (lyon), moutinho (sporting), kompany (hamburg), dunne, annan (start), mbia (rennes), uche (getafe), fernandez (villarreal), bousouffa (anderlecht), ribery, kroos & lahm (bayern), afellay & farfan (psv)

    ok, we may not get all (or any) of these players but this is at least the type of player we should be looking at. depserate for some creative spark and some players who WANT the ball and are confident enough to use it, also desperate for some dynamism and power in the middle of the pitch, players who can actually win the ball back and get close to good player, unlike butt, barton and smith

  • blerred

    Mar 12, 2008 at 8:27 PM

    Comment #27

    brummies are level….anyone else smell trouble??

  • Leo

    Mar 12, 2008 at 8:28 PM

    Comment #28

    not a huge amount of players will leave in the summer, but im sure many will be brought in

  • Steve_48

    Mar 12, 2008 at 8:29 PM

    Comment #29

    Birmingham have just equalised 2-2 now – we’re f*cked for Monday night now! They’ve obviously got some fighting spirit something we’ve been lacking since day one of the season

    Chel$ki 1-0 up Cockerney w*nker Lampard scored a penalty, talk about dubious penalty decision he really made a meal of it

  • Leo

    Mar 12, 2008 at 8:29 PM

    Comment #30

    did i say that birmingham will claw it back

    its a mick take what are these strong sides doing at the moment, its like they all want newcastle relegated so do not proform against weaker teams

    then after the game they give a shit excuse

  • Steve_48

    Mar 12, 2008 at 8:31 PM

    Comment #31

    One thing’s for sure Leo we’re in trouble on Monday night based on Birmingham’s ability to claw a game back

  • Leo

    Mar 12, 2008 at 8:33 PM

    Comment #32

    yep, so even if we manage to get a lead, they will work hard and try and claw it back. if we dont get the lead they will just walk all over us

  • Azvael

    Mar 12, 2008 at 8:39 PM

    Comment #33

    We need a free kick specialist like others team. n’gozia suck a lot in this role.

  • Steve_48

    Mar 12, 2008 at 8:41 PM

    Comment #34

    Azvael the longer the season has gone on the worse players like Milner and n’Zogbia have become, their crossing sucks rarely beating the first man

  • ToonUSA

    Mar 12, 2008 at 8:52 PM

    Comment #35

    Portsmouth 2-2 Birmingham …….and they came back from 2 goals down i am really starting to panic a bit someone please slap me and tell me we will be ok on monday 🙁

  • Steve_48

    Mar 12, 2008 at 8:53 PM

    Comment #36

    Would give you a slap no problemo but might need one myself on Monday night when I’m drowning my sorrows

    Pompey 3-2 now :: Hermann Hreidarsson

  • Obafan3

    Mar 12, 2008 at 8:59 PM

    Comment #37

    pompey gta 3rd thank fook

  • Leo

    Mar 12, 2008 at 9:02 PM

    Comment #38

    not finisshed tho till the fat lady sings, shame fat sam is doing work for itv4 tonight

  • Leo

    Mar 12, 2008 at 9:03 PM

    Comment #39

    come one you villains, you need to score 2 goals… please

  • billygee

    Mar 12, 2008 at 9:06 PM

    Comment #40

    And whose going to wake Taylor up, he’s just as bad if not worse than the rest.


You must log in to post a comment.