Newcastle To Issue Alan Shearer Statement Today

Sky Sports is now reporting that Newcastle United are set to confirm the appointment of Alan Shearer as their new manager, and will release a statement on Wednesday confirming that Shearer will be back at St James’ Park, to take charge for the final eight matches of the season. That news will be greeted with wild pandemonium and delight by Newcastle fans everywhere.


Alan Shearer – Newcastle announcement coming

Apparently the news broke last night as Sky Sports reported that Newcastle had agreed terms with Shearer (likely to be big money for Alan) to make what is truly a sensational return to his home town club.

If Newcastle had Alan Shearer in the side right now, the club would not be in this position we are now, and Newcastle fans can be sure for the last 8 games of the season these lads in the black and white stripes will be inspired.

It’s a phenomenal appointment, and we at first thought it was an April Fool’s joke, but then we checked with – which probably the most trusted Newcastle fans site – and they said it was true – so we then though – hey this thing might even be true.

We had a story we were going to put out that Mike Ashely had sold the club to an Arab Sheik – Al Hussain Al Magpie – but didn’t put it out last night, which made us very suspicious initially of this story today.

We have just one thing to say about the Alan Shearer story – Howay The Lads!!

Watch out Chelsea – it’s Hiddink vs Shearer on Saturday – and we need to get something, anything – out of that game.

Comments welcome.

25 comments so far

  • RyanToon

    Apr 1, 2009 at 11:02 AM

    Comment #1

    im so excited!!!!!!!!!



    Apr 1, 2009 at 11:03 AM

    Comment #2

    “Arab Sheik – Al Hussain Al Magpie”

    haha, he’d be the perfect owner! it’s gone 12 now!

  • Troy Stavers

    Apr 1, 2009 at 11:11 AM

    Comment #3

    @ stardust!!

    NUSC fought for a change and we got it!!

    The mob rule!!

    Deal with it!

  • Dragonera

    Apr 1, 2009 at 11:14 AM

    Comment #4

    NUSC have won nothing. They are completely ignored. This has nothign to do with them, it is just MA trying to life the place before crucial games.

  • Dragonera

    Apr 1, 2009 at 11:14 AM

    Comment #5


  • Spitfire

    Apr 1, 2009 at 11:15 AM

    Comment #6

    Stardust will find an angle to pontificate about. Have no doubt!

  • Stuart79

    Apr 1, 2009 at 11:20 AM

    Comment #7

    Lets just calm doon.

    I don’t believe anything until I hear it officially. Beewn let down far too often!

  • Joey Barton 666

    Apr 1, 2009 at 11:20 AM

    Comment #8

    im a million times happier now then i was when keegan took over, last nigh… words cannot describe what i felt when i seen that he took us over at 24 minutes past 11

  • Troy Stavers

    Apr 1, 2009 at 11:25 AM

    Comment #9


    Deal with it.!!

    NUSC and the mob won!!

    It reminds me of Churchill during the war!!

    He made a rallying speech to the masses and it inspired a nation.

    Oooooh yes!

  • Troy Stavers

    Apr 1, 2009 at 11:28 AM

    Comment #10

    Stardust ( David Ike) will be dusting down his torquoise tracksuit and preaching Ashley is Jesus Christ the saviour now!! It’s the greatest!

    It was the mob who forced change and the real messiah has risen from the tomb of the BBC.

  • DJG

    Apr 1, 2009 at 11:28 AM

    Comment #11

    Ed I could have told you that at 10am.

  • Joey Barton 666

    Apr 1, 2009 at 11:32 AM

    Comment #12

    RyanToon // Apr 1, 2009 at 10:51 AM


    where were you when you heard or read the shearer news????????

    i was on my laptop in bed about 11.30 and thought right im going to sleep but before i just checked teletext for the scores and the headline was shearer to become newcastle boss! then i was glued to SSN for ages LOL


  • Dragonera

    Apr 1, 2009 at 11:34 AM

    Comment #13

    Troy Stavers

    You epitomise delusion. It speaks volumes about your character that you cannot see this for what it is. It’s a shame really.

  • Stuart79

    Apr 1, 2009 at 11:37 AM

    Comment #14

    Ian Dowie is his assistant!

  • Troy Stavers

    Apr 1, 2009 at 11:39 AM

    Comment #15

    A RALLYING CRY FROM TROY CHURCHILL STAVERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    “I have, myself, full confidence that if all do their duty, if nothing is neglected, and if the best arrangements are made, as they are being made, we shall prove ourselves once again able to defend our home, St. James Park.
    To ride out the storm of opposing fans, and to outlive the menace of tyranny, if necessary for years, if necessary alone, as the Toon army.

    At any rate, that is what we are going to try to do. That is the resolve of Alan Shearer!!
    That is the will of the mob but not the nation.

    The Mob and Shearer, linked together in their cause and in their need, will defend to the death their native turf, aiding each other like good comrades to the utmost of their strength.

    Even though its been years since we visited Europe and many old and famous foreign grounds, we have not yet fallen into the Championship or fell into the grip of Stardust and all the odious apparatus of Ashley rule, we shall not flag or fail.

    We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in Manchester,
    we shall fight in London and Liverpool,
    we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our goal, whatever the cost may be,
    we shall fight on the terraces,
    we shall fight on all the grounds,
    we shall fight in the car parks and in the streets,
    we shall fight in the hills;
    we shall never surrender, and even if, which I do not for a moment believe, this great club or a large part of it were subjugated and Stardust, then our Empire beyond the city walls, armed and guarded by the Toon army, would carry on the struggle, until, in God’s good time, the New World, with all its power and might, steps forth to the rescue and the liberation of the old.”

    Hail Shearer!! Hail Shearer!! Hail Shearer!!

  • Troy Stavers

    Apr 1, 2009 at 11:45 AM

    Comment #16


    Have you got your name in sparkling letters on the back of your torquoise shell suit just like David Stardust Ike?

  • JoeColl87

    Apr 1, 2009 at 11:46 AM

    Comment #17

    Quote from Andy Gray: “there are plenty of great examples of great players making a success of a job – as long as he is given the tools he needs”

    The joy of our squad is there are surplus tools. Viduka, Cacapa, Smith to name but a few.

  • Troy Stavers

    Apr 1, 2009 at 11:51 AM

    Comment #18


    He’s wondering who Churchill is?

    He thinks I’m referring to the fat little dog on the insurance advert.

    Woo hoo hoo hoo!!!

    NUSC forced change! We won! deal with it

  • gibbotwg

    Apr 1, 2009 at 11:52 AM

    Comment #19

    iain dowie joining the coaching staff

  • sahota

    Apr 1, 2009 at 12:01 PM

    Comment #20

    Its great to see us all very happy. I was not expecting 1st April will come with such a great news. I just hope Shearer is able to pull the team away from relegation. We should now get behind everyone at Newcastle club.

  • Mark G

    Apr 1, 2009 at 12:04 PM

    Comment #21

    Wow Troy Stavers comparing NUSC to Churchill and then claiming credit for Shearers appointment. NUSC forced nothing, they do not have popular support and they have a tiny membership.

    That was possibly one of the most deluded posts I’ve seen on this website, for me to believe that Ashley honestly gives a crap about NUSC would require quite a lot of illegal substances to put me in such a deluded frame of mind. Well done Troy for avoiding logic and rationale thinking.

    And before you respond spouting rubbish. I’m not Stardust, I don’t know Stardust and I don’t care about Stardust. I care when a tiny unrepresentative group claims credit for something that they had no responsibility for and absolutely no ability to bring about.

  • Dragonera

    Apr 1, 2009 at 1:31 PM

    Comment #22

    Mark G

    mate, i couldn’t have said it better. However, the reason i stopped responding to Troy is because i soon realised how important is was to him and his little group to feel important in some way. Well done NUSC you have “won”…

  • Mark G

    Apr 1, 2009 at 1:41 PM

    Comment #23

    You’re right Dragonera people let their ego’s rewrite the truth

  • Zangwill_Ho

    Apr 1, 2009 at 2:53 PM

    Comment #24

    Yeah !!Good News

  • Tom_Toon

    Apr 2, 2009 at 1:19 AM

    Comment #25


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