Shearer Gives Up On The Maths Of Survival – Good Move

Another game and another inadequate performance from the Newcastle players, and today seems like déjà vu – all over again.


Alan Shearer – wonder if he really wants this job?

Yes we heard all the players last week say how it was a must win game, and that Shearer had instilled belief in the team and the club, and they knew what they had to do last night, and nothing but a win was acceptable – they knew all that.

And what did they do?  Went out and gave another relegation like performance.

If we cannot win against Portsmouth at home – who can we win against?     Surely not Liverpool away on Sunday afternoon – but it will something like that to convince many Newcastle fans that these players are not a lost cause.

We could possibly beat WBA at home, but they would need to send their Reserve side, just to make sure we could win that game.

Yes, the Newcastle players right now are hopeless, and they are proving that with almost every game they play – they seem to be a lost cause. Where’s all that pride?

And poor Alan Shearer has to look after these little babies, and we don’t envy his task one little bit, but we would have had the whip out before now to these overpaid stars – but that may not be allowed these days.

With Newcastle now on 31 points after 34 games, after having 22 points after 18 games, there seems no way the team can get anywhere near 40 points.

Remember that 43 points we ended up with last year, was the worst ever points total in the Premier league for Newcastle, but now we can only equal that if we win our last 4 games, and we will not do that.

Alan seems to have lost hope in his maths, as he professes he doesn’t know what points total will be enough to stay up.  We have to hope that both Hull City and Middlesbrough are even more inept than we are, but that’s asking a lot.

But if those two sides would promise not to win any more points this season, we would still stay up.

Our game plan we had for last night didn’t work, although everything worked exactly according to plan – but for some unknown reason, Portsmouth goalkeeper David James never threw the ball into his own net – if he had done that, just once, we would have won the game – what a spoil sport David has become in his old age!

Alan talked to the Evening Chronicle today and was asked how many points he thought the lads needed to stay up:

“I don’t know, I really don’t know.” “I don’t know what is going to be enough to stay up.” “I would dearly love to think we could go there and get something.” “We will be trying to do that.”

The disappointing thing about this run-on is the inept way in which our players are approaching the task. They seem like men totally bereft of any direction or spirit, or of any hope – it just seems all too much for them.

When you are pampered from the time you are a small boy, because you are so good at football, you lose the chance of developing as men, and it looks like we have a lot of overpaid and immature players at the club – and far too many for our liking.

Alan went on:

“Everybody will write us off for Liverpool. And I understand that.” “But we’ll go there prepared and see what happens.”

“They are under pressure too, they are going for the title.” “I saw them at Hull, and they didn’t play particularly well but won the game.”

“You never know in football.”

It’s hard not to criticize the team too much (although we are doing a good job of it in this piece), because we still have a chance of staying up, so we shouldn’t be too critical.

We have to hope Middlesbrough and Hull produce the goods for us, and don’t win a single point from now until the end of the season – work it out – if that happens we stay up.

As Jim Carey once said in the movie when he was told by the girl, that even if he was the very last man on earth, it would still be a million to one chance – Jim uttered with some delight  – so I still have a chance!

While it may not yet be that bad – it’s getting that way – and the players are hardly giving us anything to be hopeful about, are they?

We’re ready for the stories this week that we can get something out of the Liverpool game away, after failing to win against Portsmouth at home – but hey – pull the other leg – it’s got bells on – no way Jose – not with this bunch of players at any rate.

And if they do win at Liverpool, we’ll issue a public apology to the Newcastle players.

Comments welcome.

151 comments so far

  • Gunners

    Apr 28, 2009 at 2:45 PM

    Comment #1

    The players don’t need an apology. They are paid to win games. But against Liverpool? Well, I guess you can only ask for a much better performance.

  • Toon Graeme

    Apr 28, 2009 at 2:45 PM

    Comment #2

    Ed – I take it by the tone of the thread that you are as peeed off as the majority of we.

  • Johno Toon

    Apr 28, 2009 at 2:47 PM

    Comment #3

    Its not impossible for us to avoid relegation and til it is there is always hope

  • Toon Graeme

    Apr 28, 2009 at 2:52 PM

    Comment #4

    Ed – dont bother with the apology even, ha ha Im laughing, if we do win as its just not gonna happen.

    Christ if we cant even score when we were away at Stoke with a foot hitting a ball or Mackems without a penalty or even Pompey at home then what chance have we of penetrating Raffa’s back four and getting past ald Pepe Reina?!!

    Not that I am defeatest in anyway but we are probably gonna get taught a lesson in premiership football on Sunday!

  • AlexanderNUFC21

    Apr 28, 2009 at 2:56 PM

    Comment #5

    As I said on one of the blogs,Put in Xisco and Nacho. I mean they cant be any worse than Owen is. Nacho has the ability to hold the ball and pass it with quality. Think about it, with mark up front and Nacho behind him we can cut up their defense like freakin butter. Xisco, in Spain, had good headers and he has some ability on the ball, Martins given space and time can smash that ball in the back of the net. Loven in the midfield can provide some good running ability and crosses. Smith, has produced some good defense as well as firepower. Jonas can track back as well as putting fear to the opposition defense, and he is hungry for some goals. Now ima good out on a limb here but Colo can defend Torres, back in spain he did well to shut him down, but he still needs to find some speed for other liverpool players. If we are to lose at Anfield, lets do it with some fight, you never know, we may even win (Doubtful).

  • Amirshearer

    Apr 28, 2009 at 2:59 PM

    Comment #6

    We can’t score! I seriously think Shearer should put on his boots again. And the midfield isn’t creating enough. Do u realise how many silly pointless, hopeless long balls were just pumped into the box yesterday? We lack that final ball. No Final Ball. No Scoring Chances. And with the only few chances we had, our stooges wasted them. There’s is still hope. But hope needs luck. And we have none at the moment.

  • Rorycn

    Apr 28, 2009 at 3:00 PM

    Comment #7
  • Johno Toon

    Apr 28, 2009 at 3:01 PM

    Comment #8

    i have completly forgot about xisco how werid is that!

  • boater

    Apr 28, 2009 at 3:04 PM

    Comment #9

    I think it’s fair to say this will be the last time this season we goo looking for a draw. Might make it tougher on liverpool who are geared around counter-attack themselves… we opened up to them at SJP and that was an annihilation but – with Martins sitting on Carragher’s shoulder and waiting for the occasional decent punts out from the box – we may have a better strategy…
    can honestly see a 1-1 this time around.

  • komfort

    Apr 28, 2009 at 3:05 PM

    Comment #10

    xisco is one for the future..and paid for up front , you could’nt meck it up.

  • AlexanderNUFC21

    Apr 28, 2009 at 3:06 PM

    Comment #11

    Amirshearer, I agree with u, we need to stop these long balls, we need some great passing ability. Not one or two long balls, we need to touch n go, speed is a weapon if we can use it to our advantge so be it, but these horrendous long balls from butt n the midfield arent cutting it.

  • Jamesthefirst

    Apr 28, 2009 at 3:06 PM

    Comment #12

    Team I’d like to see against Liverpool


    Subs: Krul, Coloccini, Edgar, Nolan, Owen, Viduka, Martins

  • beamish

    Apr 28, 2009 at 3:07 PM

    Comment #13

    pretty confident hull will beat stoke at home so 2 wins are needed. I can see a victory against boro but that is it. Been a pleasure.

  • AlexanderNUFC21

    Apr 28, 2009 at 3:12 PM

    Comment #14

    James thats a good looking squad but put nacho in the middle, he plays better there.

  • Jamesthefirst

    Apr 28, 2009 at 3:14 PM

    Comment #15

    One problem I’ve noticed is that regardless of form, Harper, Bassong, Beye, Butt, and Owen are automatically in Shearer’s first 11. Then he simply decides who to fit in around them.

    Right now we need hungry players with a point to prove.

    We all know we can’t beat Liverpool at Anfield, so let’s have a go at finding a team with pace that can attack Middlesborough in the following game, and use Liverpool game to bed them in.

  • RyanToon

    Apr 28, 2009 at 3:15 PM

    Comment #16


    looks like youre gonna get your wish of us going down.

    youll still be a mid table side no matter how much you spend. been good speaking to you

  • Jamesthefirst

    Apr 28, 2009 at 3:15 PM

    Comment #17


    I believe with Barton and Guthrie we have 2 scousers with a point to prove against Liverpool. But Shearer is the manager and he will always pick BUTT over any other midfielder.

  • Johno Toon

    Apr 28, 2009 at 3:16 PM

    Comment #18

    sorry beamish cant see hull winning for the rest of the season , maybe a point against stoke

    in saying that its hard to see us winning again ourselves

  • Toon Graeme

    Apr 28, 2009 at 3:17 PM

    Comment #19

    Lads, Nacho hasnt played for months on end and has not even been included in the resrve match tomorrow night.

    Youve got more chance of Nolan playing ahead of Nacho. I doubt we will see him this season.

    Unless injured – you can expect Butt and Smith in the Mid with Duff at left back as Enrique has done his hamstring which is about 3 weeks depending on severity of damage – so worst case – no Enrique for the end of the season.

  • beamish

    Apr 28, 2009 at 3:18 PM

    Comment #20

    ryantoon- if we had redknapp from the start of the season we would be 5th.

  • Stuart79

    Apr 28, 2009 at 3:20 PM

    Comment #21


    I detected a hint of sarcasm in your words there.

  • RyanToon

    Apr 28, 2009 at 3:20 PM

    Comment #22

    beamish. imo you wouldnt of been.

    next year you will finish 7th

  • RyanToon

    Apr 28, 2009 at 3:22 PM

    Comment #23

    beamish. do you think you will sign any of our players when we go down??

    please take. owen,nolan,r.taylor,geremi,ameobi,coloccini and enrique

  • Jamesthefirst

    Apr 28, 2009 at 3:24 PM

    Comment #24

    @Toon Graeme – well without Enrique that means Shearer will revert to Dowie’s preferred 3-5-2 system and we will get even more battered.

  • beamish

    Apr 28, 2009 at 3:27 PM

    Comment #25

    ryantoon- i hope not and very much doubt it. They will end up at teams like hull and stoke.

  • Rodzilla

    Apr 28, 2009 at 3:28 PM

    Comment #26

    Don’t think we could do much worse than dropping Owen and giving Xisco a chance – he can’t be that bad, surely(?!) Owen just looked like a lost kid in the Metro Centre last night. I never thought I’d hear myself say this, and it still seems wrong, but he seems past it. All this form temporary/class permanent business isn’t rubbing off on me anymore.

    Boater, completely irrelevant to the story but I forgot to ask you last night.

    …after the stiff straw hat with a flat crown or do you just like boats?

  • Toon Graeme

    Apr 28, 2009 at 3:29 PM

    Comment #27

    James – not necessarily as will need a back 4 against Liverpool in any event. Duff will most likely sit back in Enriques place.

    I think we should go 4 5 1 and fill the mid.

  • Stuart79

    Apr 28, 2009 at 3:32 PM

    Comment #28

    Relegation would surely mean Moobs would stop coming on here pestering us all the time!

    Roll on Championship!

  • Jamesthefirst

    Apr 28, 2009 at 3:33 PM

    Comment #29

    @Toon Graeme – Owen will never be dropped under Shearer, so that would mean Owen up front on his own — Carragher will flatten him.

    Or worse he will put Owen in midfield.

    As much flak as Owen gets — it was only one chance he had, even Torres doesn’t score every chance. He’s still our best out and out goalscorer so I can understand Shearer to some extent

  • Stuart79

    Apr 28, 2009 at 3:36 PM

    Comment #30

    I wonder what Oz, Moxey, Dennis, Neville, Bomber and Barry are doing this Sunday.

    Something tells me were going to need some brickies to brick up our bloody goal!

  • AlexanderNUFC21

    Apr 28, 2009 at 3:44 PM

    Comment #31

    Nacho might not have played for awhile but Nolan hasnt provided anything but yellow cards and giving the ball away. Credit to your statment about Nolan over Nacho but we need someone who can pass the ball through. I havent seen it from Nolan, but i agree 100% on Guthire.

  • Doocey

    Apr 28, 2009 at 3:54 PM

    Comment #32

    We’re doomed I think.

    Need 5 man midfield against Liverpool and will still probably get bombared.
    Not looking good

  • Geordiedoonsooth

    Apr 28, 2009 at 4:03 PM

    Comment #33

    we are useless, the team last night tried hard but just aren’t good enough no flair at all. I would play some of the kids (maybe not at Liverpool but certainly against boro) with no S. Taylor or Enrique we have to play Collocini but lets put Edgar in at LB with Barton in MF my team for Sat:






    Subs Krull, Butt, Owen, Martins, Ranger, Nolan, R Taylor.

  • Toon Graeme

    Apr 28, 2009 at 4:10 PM

    Comment #34

    Doocey – after our last meeting – they better be awake in that game. Just because they aint at home doesnt mean the toon army wont be watching.

    I predict a spanking. But hopefully its Liverpool and we punk them 1 -3. Ha Ha – I need to lay of the chocolate!

  • DanToon

    Apr 28, 2009 at 4:15 PM

    Comment #35

    v Liverpool

    …………………Harper & Krul
    ….Edgar & Baye & Coloccini & Bassong & Enrique & Duff
    RTaylor & Smith & Butt & Nolan & Barton & Guthrie & Jonas
    …Owen & Viduka & Carroll & Martins & Ranger & Xisco

    Might scrap oot a point if they lucky.

  • AlexanderNUFC21

    Apr 28, 2009 at 4:18 PM

    Comment #36

    I think we can use edgar, he is a tall lad and he looked soild at the back, and we need midfielders who arent afraid to tackle nor give a shot on goal. Determination is key


    Apr 28, 2009 at 4:19 PM

    Comment #37

    Props to you lot that still have hope but for me it’s all gone. We couldn’t beat pompy at home and it really was a ‘must win’ game, we don’t look like ever coming out the bottom three, do you think the players will suddenly find form? or confidence?

    Stupid me I actually thought our team wasn’t that bad and that the form and lack of confidence was the problem but now I truly believe our players and team are the worst in the prem. Boro are much more of a threat than us with one up-top, we had three x world class strikers on the field and we couldn’t score a goal even though sitters were present? Gareth Southgate would have liked what he saw yesterday and I can’t see us getting anything from boro or Fulham. There’s something major lacking in our team and each time I watch us play it’s something different, a couple of weeks back i’d have said the midfield were the problem, last night it was the strikers, Owen really offers us nothing and he’s been the WORST buy ever! In the last 8 games he’s offered us so little it’s unbelievable that he’s still in the squad, Duff looked more likley to score last night then Owen and duff was playing at left-back, Smith looked more likley to score and he was playing in midfield having not scored for years. I took my old man to watch the game last night and mentioned that owen fly’s a helicoptor back and for to training and home and he couldn’t believe it, he said he’s stop that right away and demand that Owen lives within 30 miles of the training ground! I agree 100% what kind of example does that set? seeing two old has beens flying off in a helicoptor when NUFC and sitting third from bottom.

    Sorry for the rant but needed it out…..

  • Doocey

    Apr 28, 2009 at 4:20 PM

    Comment #38

    Imagine the gas if we were being totally outplayed for the whole match and Michael Owen nicked the winner late on courtesy of a Pepe Reina mistake!

    Dreams eh…

  • OHurley

    Apr 28, 2009 at 4:23 PM

    Comment #39


    I think that team MIGHT be able to scrap a point, but only if Liverpool’s team looks like this-



  • OHurley

    Apr 28, 2009 at 4:24 PM

    Comment #40

    Sorry- comment 38 was meant for Toon Graeme 🙂


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