Newcastle Writing Final Chapter Of Horror Novel Tomorrow

Newcastle United could well be writing the last chapter of the soap opera called Newcastle United, and the book turn its last page with relegation at 6:00 pm tomorrow afternoon.


Shearer – will get updates on other relegation clashes

That’s unless there’s a surprise ending.

This blog has been in existence for a short two years. but in that time the club has had 6 managers, has been bought by an English Billionaire, has been put up for sale ten taken off the market, and now will probably get relegated.

In fact before the game tomorrow we’ll put a time-line about what’s happened at Newcastle in that time – you talk about a soap opera?

We have been, more than once,  told that ever since we’ve started this blog the club has submarined big time, and therefore we should close it – quickly.

While we initially though that had to be a great deal for the club, we were wrong – again.

If Newcastle are beaten by Aston Villa tomorrow, where they will forced to put out a sub-standard team with Beye. Owen, Bassong and Barton all missing.

A sub-standard Newcastle team this year is saying something, because we’ve been absolutely hopeless since we beat Tottenham in December.

During the game on Sunday (Aston Villa – Newcastle and Hull – Manchester United games are being televised live around the world), Shearer wants to be updated on what’s happening at the KC Stadium and with Sunderland at the Stadium Of Light.

Newcastle will set out to win the game of course, but if Hull look like they will be beaten at the KC Stadium, which seems very likely, a draw will be enough to keep Newcastle up.

So if  we  hear Hull are down 3-0 with 30 minutes to go, we’ll hang out for a draw and then Aston Villa will score in the last minute to send us down.

That’s how our tactics seem to have worked this year – just terrible (that’s not a slight at Alan by the way).

Alan told the Newcastle Journal today:

“It’s not difficult to know how we set up at the start. We set up to win the game. That’s what we have to do,”

“I think you have to be aware of what is happening elsewhere, what’s going on around you. We will be aware of what’s going because we might have to shape the game for the last ten or 15 minutes based on what is happening elsewhere.”

“I’m pretty sure it will change by the minute, to be honest. When you look at it: it’s a 4 o’clock kick off, it’ll be a long one hour and 45 minutes. You know as well as I do that there will be twists. At one stage someone will be down, someone will be up – but what matters is that come ten to six we’re the ones staying up.”

Alan is right of course.

The scenario you don’t want is for Hull to be down 3-0, and  Newcastle drawing, and then trying to get the winner and leaving themselves wide open at the back, when a draw is all that’s needed.

However, trying to defend anything this season has always proved a challenge.

And the Journal is reporting that when Shearer participated in Blackburn’s title-winning team of 1995, Blackburn were beaten at Liverpool on the last day.

But then Manchester United’s failure at West Ham, meant that Alan won the only major honor of a decorated playing career.

Of course Alan won nothing at Newcastle, since it’s been 40 years since the great, talented and gutsy Bobby Moncur led Newcastle to the Inter City Fairs Cup, our only triumph.

If you watch a TV replay of that game. just compare the spirit and passion of the players in the final, with the lot we have at out club now.

It really does stand out just how the players were 110% committed and went wild each time they scored – you could see their tremendous commitment in those games.

Of course they did have more practice than our team this year at scoring goals, and had the same manager, former FA Cup winning captain Joe Harvey, who took no nonsense form anybody, as their only manager the precious two seasons. How boring.

Shearer said of the 1995 Blackburn drama:

“I remember the fans crying, cheering then getting their handkerchiefs out – there were all sorts of mixed emotions. I think we’ll have a reliable source telling us the results, don’t worry about that.”

Doesn’t it seem strange that fans were crying because they didn’t win the title, which Newcastle have never done, although we’ve finished in the top 4 5 times.

We haven’t got to tell Newcastle fans that relegation tomorrow, with our $74M squad, will ensure the will go down in history, not only as the squad that took Newcastle United down, but also as the most under-performing squad in the 17 years of the Premier League.

Not sure if most of our players give a hoot, they’ll just ply their trade for big bucks elsewhere next season.

10 comments so far

  • Toon Graeme

    May 23, 2009 at 12:07 PM

    Comment #1

    Ive said that before ed – their pay cheques will help them sleep at night.

    Im gonna be sh*tting brick tomorrow.

    If we win and we stay up I will shout from the high heaven in whatever pub in Spain I am in!!

    God save our gracious toon
    Long life our noble toon
    God save the toon!!

    Ive got my england top on – hence the song!

  • Toon Graeme

    May 23, 2009 at 12:08 PM

    Comment #2

    Christ I cant multi task – you know what I was tyring to type!

  • tdt

    May 23, 2009 at 12:15 PM

    Comment #3

    We can do it! keep the faith – villa have been on a run of poor form, and we havent played badly as such under shearer – ok we havent got results but we’ve been bloody close several times.

    Bring on the villians! 3-0 toon!

  • Johno Toon

    May 23, 2009 at 12:24 PM

    Comment #4

    Its crazy to think no matter what happens all this stress is gone tomorrow

  • tdt

    May 23, 2009 at 12:30 PM

    Comment #5

    Its arguable we’re in a win-win situation:

    Stay up – still in prem, still got pride/cash.

    Go down – finally get rid of the gash – start a fresh, start the shearer era a-fresh.

    Prefer 2 stay up nonetheless!

  • Sav

    May 23, 2009 at 1:48 PM

    Comment #6

    I reckon the gash will be gone whatever division we are in.
    Shearer is being permanently upbeat now but under it all he must be pretty sick about the rubbish at the club and the weak performances in the cold light of Monday I expect he’ll take a dispassionate view of the troops and send most of them on their merry way.

  • Gunners

    May 23, 2009 at 1:52 PM

    Comment #7

    If I produce a TV series using Newcastle, I’ll probably get very good ratings. Imagine the drama since Freddy Shepherd’s leadership and finally, a taking over. While the taking over by a Billionaire seems like a positive thing looking at Chelsea, you soon realised you got a bigger nightmare(climax).

  • Hugh Jorgan

    May 23, 2009 at 2:15 PM

    Comment #8

    Toon Graeme
    Where are you in Spain ?

  • xfer

    May 23, 2009 at 5:18 PM

    Comment #9

    Exactly, i dont think most of the players care! MA has said if we are relegated, the first teamers will be up for sale. So everyone will just play their usual game this season, and when relegated, move on to another team.

    The only ones that suffer, is US.

  • Tom_Toon

    May 23, 2009 at 7:20 PM

    Comment #10



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