It’s strange that the goings on at Newcastle over the last two years coincide with the history of the Newcastle United Blog.
Here is the list of things (is that the right word>) that have happened since this blog was created – we think you’ll be surprised:
- April 23rd 2007 – The Newcastle United Blog comes online
- May 8th – Glenn Roeder sacked as Newcastle Manager – he had won 45% of the games he managed for Newcastle United
- May 15th – Sam Allardyce appointed Newcastle manager after he had resigned from former club Bolton a few weeks before that – just the manager we need!
- May 23rd – Mike Ashley buys Newcastle for a combined £134M
- August 14th – Chris Mort appointed new Chairman at the club – Freddy Shepherd leaves
- January 9th 2008 — Sam Allardyce sacked as Newcastle manager and gets £3M payoff- refuses to criticize club – we would hope so!
- Jan 15th – Kevin Keegan appointed as Newcastle manager – Newcastle fans go mad – return oif the Messiah
- January 29th – Dennis Wise is appointed Newcastle’s Director of Football – what?
- Feb 16th – Dennis holds interview with nufcTV and says it is not his job to tell Kevin which players to bring in and which ones to sell – really!
- August 27th – James Milner sold to Aston Villa against the wishes of Kevin Keegan – James seems surprised that Newcastle have let him go after requesting a wage increase at the club
- September 1st – Xisco and Gonzelez (loan) brought to the club on the last day of the transfer window without Kevin’s knowledge – Wow – they were both great last season!
- September 1st – The Newcastle United Blog gets over 100K hits in one day for first time ever
- September 12th – Kevin Keegan sacked or walks out as Newcastle manager – we still don’t know what really happened. But Ashley holds a meeting with Kevin in London on the Friday night but Kevin cannot be persuaded to stay. Kevin now suing the club for up to £8M
- September 11th – Chris Hughton appointed Newcastle caretaker manager
- Septembr 14th – Ashley puts Newcastle club up for sale
- September – December – Newcastle have 1,023 and one half bids from everywhere you could imagine – well that’s according the gossip press – who are having a field day
- September 22nd – – Terry Venables turns down the interim manager position at Newcastle because he couldn’t be guaranteed a permanent position – with the club being on the auction block.
- September 26th- Joe Kinnear appointed interim Newcastle United manager – Joe excited by challenge and seems to make immediate difference- players start to fight – and seemed to have woken up out of their slumbers – seems like Joe smashed then at half time in home Blackburn game – and the came alive in second half.
- December 28th – Mike Ashley announces on Sunday morning there are no buyers and takes Newcastle club off the market
- December 28th Liverpool hammer Newcastle 5-1 and it would have been 10-1 but for a world class performance from goalkeeper Shay Given – he makes 5 stunning world class saves in first 29 minutes – it’s Shay vs Liverpool – before Liverpool finally score on 30 minutes. An absolutely breathtaking performance of goalkeeping from the Newcastle star – other clubs take note.
- December 29th Shay Given has had enough of the owners at Newcastle and requests a transfer
- January 30th 2009 – Manchester City complete the sale of Shay Given (after over 460 appearances for Newcastle) as Newcastle try desperately to keep their world-class goalkeeper – Shay announces later he had had enough of Ashley – it’s no coincidence he requested a transfer the day after Mike announced he was keeping the club.
- January 31st – As the transfer completes Newcastle get in Kevin Nolan, Ryan Taylor and Peter Lovenkrands in January transfer window – though to be not enough
- January 31st – last day efforts to get in a bunch of players – like Michael Johnson from Manchester City – fail
- January 31st – Newcastle blog site gets 110K hits on last day of transfer window – biggest ever
- Feb 7th – Joe Kinnear taken to the hospital with heart problems before WBA crucial game at the Hawthorns
- Feb 7th – Newcastle get a fantastic 3-2 win at WBA – things are looking up – we all see a big light at the end of the tunnel
- Feb 10th – Ashley announces Chris Hughton and Colin Calderwood will manage the side until Joe Kinnear returns in 8 weeks and that next season the management team will be Kinnear, Hughton and Calderwood – Newcastle fans are completely underwhelmed.
- April 1st – right out of the blue Alan Shearer is appointed interim manager (how many interim managers do we have?) for last 8 game of the season – we all think it’s an an April Fool’s joke.
Alan appoints Iain Dowie as Assistant manager – everybody is pumped up – this is great!
Newcastle fans delirious and believe the club will be saved
- April 2nd – The Newcastle United Blog announces it was going to close down today, but with the surprise announcement of Shearer, the blog will continue until the end of the season as a sign of respect for Alan, in his efforts to save the club. But the blog has taken on a life of its own and can hardly pays its way.
- April 3rd – present – where is Michael Owen? – we don’t hear a word from the captain, and he has hamstring strain and misses second last game game against Fulham, after he had been dropped earlier by Shearer.
Michael ends the season in silence not scoring a goal for Newcastle in the final 4 months of the season. One goal in the last minute of the season would have been enough to have saved Newcastle from relegation. Owen leaves Newcastle in worst deal ever for a Premier League club – and costs Newcastle £1.3M/goal for his 30 goals in 4 seasons. He will never return – and he didn’t even say goodbye.
- April 4th – In first game Chelsea beat Newcastle 2-0 at St. James Park and our losing ways continue
- May 3rd – Joey Barton returns from injury for his first start since January in Liverpool game and gets himself sent off and misses the rest of the season
- May 3rd – big argument with Shearer and Barton in Newcastle dressing room after the game – Joey calls Alan a sh*t manager with sh*t tactics – big mistake by Joey. We all think well – that’s the last game that jail-bird will play for Newcastle
- May 11th – Newcastle play magnificently and beat fellow relegation strugglers Middlesbrough 3-1, the first win since the WBA game – there’s that light at the end of the tunnel again shining brightly
- May 16th – in next home game we lose against Fulham, who before the game had won just 2 games away from Craven Cottage all season. Bassong manages to get himself sent off in second half – and our best player will miss the last game of the season at Villa Park
- May 24th – a draw would do it against Aston Villa a way – but we manage to lose 1-0 again, and Newcastle are are relegated – the last 45 minutes of that game will go down in Newcastle History as a disgrace and shame the famous fighting Newcastle United club
- May 24th -Steven Taylor is more than distraught at the end of the game – other players rush to the dressing room to speak with their agents – “get me out of here! This must never happen again at Newcastle – with players seemingly not caring for the club at all – just the money
- May 24th Fans weep, blog owners fall into deep depression and rip into the players, especially captain Michael Owen, and Alan Shearer in his post match interview manages not to break down – but only just, but the Geordie native is totally devastated – just like the rest of us. It’s the first time we’ve seen Alan that distraught – ever.
- May 24th – present – the gossip press seem pleased that “big Club” Newcastle are relegated – that will show those daft Geordies – and pour salt in the wounds – but what’s new?
In the last 20 Premier league games of the season, the team has just 12 points with 2 wins and 6 draws – we deserve to be relegated – let’s fact it
- May 25th – Alan Shearer announces there is a lot of work to do in pre-season, and is in long talks over several days with the Newcastle hierarchy – Newcastle fans await his appointment as long-term manager
- May 28th – owner Mike Ashley apologized for everything – he takes it on the chin with an apology probably written for him by Alan Shearer. We hear no apologies at all from other players who leave Newcastle last Tuesday and many will not return. Michael leaves in his helicopter and we never heard one word from our captain over the last 6 weeks – what’s going on? Some captain!
- May 29th – Newcastle club announces that 150 non-playing staff will be redundant – we estimate the wages of all of those to be close to the wages of captain Michael Owen – £5.5M/year
- May 30th 9:30 pm (had he been drinking?) Mike Ashley announces the club is up for sale – he’s had enough and he’s made some terrible decision- really?
- May 31st – The Newcastle United Blog announces it will stay up – how can we leave with the club in this terrible mess? We nail our colors to the Newcastle mast – just like Steven Taylor, Beye and Duff have done.
A donate button is placed on the site, from readers suggestions, in hopes of making some money to keep the blog alive – fat chance.
- The club is in turmoil again with no manager and new owners coming in – supposedly – and only 4 weeks left before the players report back for – who’s doing any real work at Newcastle?
The Newcastle soap opera of last season is nominated for the Grammies (how is that possible?) and is immediately red hot favorite to win – a film deal is said to be in the works. Rumors have it that Danny Devito wants to play Mike Ashley – what?
- June 2nd – who knows?
- Go back to step 4 – for Mike Ashley – insert new owner name – and replace £134M with new price – £90M? And let’s hope the new steps that follow are a hell of a lot better than these steps!
We’ll add one or two more points above for completeness with accurate dates – so we will have a full history of all of this nonsense.
As you may have already guessed, we’ve been asked to do this by the Hollywood producers, who seem anxious to put the screen-play together. 😀
If we’ve missed any major points let us know.
Comments always welcome.