New Strip Will Hopefully Force Opposition Into Submission


It’s a long long time since we’ve seen such an ugly strip at Newcastle, that’s for sure.

steven taylor   -432358772

Steven Taylor – cover your eyes – quick!

The new Newcastle away strip has none of the classic colors of Newcastle – black, white and blue, but is a ghastly yellow, and stripes no less in two different yellows. 🙁

But the kit, modelled above by Newcastle local lad and stalwart Steven Taylor, is hard to look at, for more than a few seconds. And the rumor is that Steven was the only Newcastle player willing to pose in the strip, but Steven was always a brave and courageous lad.

Mark Jensen, editor of The Mag, after returning from vomiting in the toilet, talked about the kit:

“It’s certainly different! My take on kits is that as long as they’re not red and white stripes, I’m not really that bothered.”

“There’s certainly no chance of them getting lost in the snow when we play Barnsley in December.”

“I suppose the problem the club has when they bring a new away kit out every year is how to make each one stand out. But they’ve certainly managed it this time!”

Newcastle fans, bold enough to buy (and even wear) the new kit between July 23 (launch day) and July 26 will receive a 20% discount. It is available to order from the club’s website from today.

But we think there’s a much better reason why the strip was chosen, especially those two ghastly yellows. We now have a good chance of making the opposition players sick, just by looking at the strip, and that should get us a few more points in the Championship next season.

In fact it could be the difference between promotion and not making it next season.

That’s the real reason we can reveal today!

We also have it on good authority from FIFA no less, that before Newcastle play in those strips – a 48 hour fair warning notice must be given to the opposing team.

That’s just to level the playing field in a manner of speaking, and will allow the other team’s players to know just exactly what they will be up against when they play Newcastle. And initial reports we are receiving suggest opposing teams are looking to play in sun-glasses when Newcastle don this strip, even when it’s snowing!

The best we can say about the strip – it’s a change – that’s for sure – but what else would you expect with a change strip.

Comments welcome.



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74 comments so far

  • Steve_48

    Jun 22, 2009 at 1:07 PM

    Comment #1

    WTF?

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  • Nick 69

    Jun 22, 2009 at 1:11 PM

    Comment #2

    looks more like a f*kin sweet wrapper or something than a football strip!! absolutely disgustin!!

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  • Toon Graeme

    Jun 22, 2009 at 1:11 PM

    Comment #3

    Ed – top form today mate 🙂

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  • Toon Graeme

    Jun 22, 2009 at 1:16 PM

    Comment #4

    I did forget to add that soemone at NUFC has agreed the strip design and colour and I wonder which pi$$ taking B*stard that was!! No names of course.

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  • hitman

    Jun 22, 2009 at 1:19 PM

    Comment #5

    looks like a refresher

    0
  • Spitfire

    Jun 22, 2009 at 1:31 PM

    Comment #6

    Yellow stripe running down the players backs? Although revolting seems pretty apt to me – certainly for the players that got us relegated

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  • UTD111

    Jun 22, 2009 at 1:32 PM

    Comment #7

    Handy if there’s a power cut though……

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  • Spitfire

    Jun 22, 2009 at 1:35 PM

    Comment #8

    Llambias has obviously only got those two colours left in his crayon box

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  • RyanToon

    Jun 22, 2009 at 1:39 PM

    Comment #9

    kit is horrible

    0
  • DJM TOON

    Jun 22, 2009 at 1:40 PM

    Comment #10

    you mention playin in the snow… we look like p*ss in the snow

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  • DJM TOON

    Jun 22, 2009 at 1:42 PM

    Comment #11

    i’m appalled, someone really is trying to make us the laughing stock.

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  • DJM TOON

    Jun 22, 2009 at 1:42 PM

    Comment #12

    apart from the badge, there is nothing in that strip that says NUFC

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  • DJM TOON

    Jun 22, 2009 at 1:43 PM

    Comment #13

    and i’m still appalled at the quality of picture!!

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  • beyethegreat

    Jun 22, 2009 at 1:48 PM

    Comment #14

    “I suppose the problem the club has when they bring a new away kit out every year is how to make each one stand out. But they’ve certainly managed it this time!”

    lol noyice hw in the entire quote he never says he likes it and im not surprised

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  • Doocey

    Jun 22, 2009 at 1:49 PM

    Comment #15

    Terrible.

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  • ggfoto.eu

    Jun 22, 2009 at 1:51 PM

    Comment #16

    it looks like i’m the only one in the whole world who really likes this kit:) I’ve always said the away kit should be with the same stripes like the home one but in other colours and finally it happened. I’m hope the back is with stripes not that big square.
    other think is the quality of pictures you have been giving for your blog. on the web are big enough photos so you don’t have to upscale them. by the way original pictures have a lot of dust spots from dirty sensor which is not acceptable with professionals like the club official photographer. maybe he was one of that sacked recently and someone else took that pictures:)

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  • Rodzilla

    Jun 22, 2009 at 1:57 PM

    Comment #17

    Not only does our club take the p1ss, they also base our away strip on it. What a shower (golden)

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  • beyethegreat

    Jun 22, 2009 at 1:58 PM

    Comment #18

    look at it this way after that kit their is nothing worse that can happen to this club

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  • Rodzilla

    Jun 22, 2009 at 1:59 PM

    Comment #19

    ….whoaaa BTG! Steady on!

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  • beyethegreat

    Jun 22, 2009 at 2:00 PM

    Comment #20

    fair enough thats an exageration -especially with this club but still its the worst kit in football history

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  • Mags

    Jun 22, 2009 at 2:02 PM

    Comment #21

    Whoever sanctioned this needs naming and shaming. GRIM.

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  • spiderpig

    Jun 22, 2009 at 2:02 PM

    Comment #22

    good job we dont wear the away strip hardly.could be a good thing.less money to ashley as noone will buy it.

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  • Thump

    Jun 22, 2009 at 2:08 PM

    Comment #23

    Hang on, it’s exactly the same as the home kit only coloured yellow.

    Creativity for the masses.

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  • Rodzilla

    Jun 22, 2009 at 2:10 PM

    Comment #24

    beyethegreat // Jun 22, 2009 at 2:00 PM

    …”the worst kit in football history”

    Not sure mate, I think this one could be a prime contender for such an accolade:

    http://www.premiershirts.net/wearthat/wearthatshirts/scunthorpe.jpg

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  • RyanToon

    Jun 22, 2009 at 2:11 PM

    Comment #25

    id like to of seen a hoop syle like blue and white or summit but we get this!

    effing joke

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  • Rodzilla

    Jun 22, 2009 at 2:12 PM

    Comment #26

    beyethegreat —-19

    …”the worst kit in football history”

    Not sure about that mate, I think this one could be a prime contender for such an accolade:

    http://www.premiershirts.net/wearthat/wearthatshirts/s***thorpe.jpg

    (you need to replace the stars as Ed’s software still won’t allow a certain football club’s name to be posted up here)

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  • AndyNUFC

    Jun 22, 2009 at 2:17 PM

    Comment #27

    Not only are we relegeated, can’t sell the club, don’t have a manager, have our best players looking likely to leave, but the person who designed our away strip took our home strip and coloured it in ginger.

    Not even joking I seriously want to know when the fecking humiliation is going to end. We’re hardly even a football club anymore.

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  • Toon_Factor

    Jun 22, 2009 at 2:27 PM

    Comment #28

    My god with all the financial problems I would have thought they would have made a decent strip to bring a bit of money in. Hideous!

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  • Pons Aelius

    Jun 22, 2009 at 2:28 PM

    Comment #29

    Rodzilla – you’re right mate. That Scunthorpe shirt is worse.

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  • Micky Toon

    Jun 22, 2009 at 2:29 PM

    Comment #30

    Yellow is very much a traditional NUFC colour and it’s got nothing to do with being spineless or p**s poor. If you don’t know the history of your club then at least check before posting.
    The kit is revolting though.

    Rodzilla – I think QPR might have some objections to a white with blue hoops shirt.

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  • Rodzilla

    Jun 22, 2009 at 2:31 PM

    Comment #31

    Micky Toon, that was Ryan’s comment.

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  • Davy Craig

    Jun 22, 2009 at 2:40 PM

    Comment #32

    No one should buy this until after Ashley has gone. This is (I hope) his final slap in the face for United fans. Yes, we have had yellow strips in the past, I owned a few myself in the 70s, but this is not a golden yellow but a putrid yellow made worse with the white stripes. It looks pathetic. To be honest I was expecting pink or brown so it could’ve been even worse I suppose.

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  • Toon_Ksk (Huh? u mean David Craig is real?)

    Jun 22, 2009 at 2:47 PM

    Comment #33

    Bananas in pyjamas…

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  • Mags

    Jun 22, 2009 at 2:48 PM

    Comment #34

    OH MY GOD NO WAY

    0
  • Micky Toon

    Jun 22, 2009 at 2:49 PM

    Comment #35

    Apologies – Rodzilla, so it was.

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  • dveselis

    Jun 22, 2009 at 2:49 PM

    Comment #36

    We are actually doing Leeds….

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  • Rodzilla

    Jun 22, 2009 at 2:50 PM

    Comment #37

    nee wurries

    0
  • sirjasontoon

    Jun 22, 2009 at 2:55 PM

    Comment #38

    Even worse on the 3rd view…I want to vomit warm custard on my jeans.

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  • sirjasontoon

    Jun 22, 2009 at 2:56 PM

    Comment #39

    The Banana Splits.

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  • sirjasontoon

    Jun 22, 2009 at 2:57 PM

    Comment #40

    This club is going down the pan…I bet the players dread away games next season wearing that daft desert,maybe opposing teams will laugh and fall over.

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