No Bakewell Tarts In America – Be Warned

Alan Pardew has come out today and said the pre-season tour of the States will be almost perfect preparation for the Newcastle side.

The famous Bakewell tart

The lads start the season on August 13th, with a home game against Arsenal, some start!

Newcastle will start their tour later this month and will play three friendlies with Sporting Kansas City (July 20th), Orlando City (July 23th) and Columbus Crew (July 26th)

Assistant manager John Carver was over here this last week to check that everything is ready for the Newcatsle squad arriving for their games later this month.

This is what Alan told the Newcastle site today:

“I know the facilities are top, top drawer,” “It’s good and accessible for our fans to see us.”

“The training conditions are perfect, the competition will be good, and importantly we can focus completely on our job without any distractions.”

“The food, language and climate won’t take any adjusting to and we can just get on with things.”

We suppose the food over here is much like that in England these days, with the fast food American restaurants all over England.

But be warned that you cannot get Vanilla slices and Bakewell tarts and that kind of  stuff over here – the stuff I just love t have from Greggs Bakery, when I’m back in Newcastle.

My wife Madeline makes a great Bakewell tart – so I’ve obviously been lucky since we left Newcastle many moons ago.

But one big problem is when my wife makes them – however many she makes – it makes no difference – they’ve never been known to survive more than 24 hours, before somebody eats the lot.

There’s really nothing quite equivalent to those things over here, but we suppose well-conditioned footballers don’t eat that sort of stuff – come to think of it.

OK, then Alan’s right again – the food is no problem over here.

Comments welcome.

PS – before  somebody thinks of  blasting me  – this article is meant to be light-hearted.

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49 comments so far

  • Toonboy_83

    Jul 2, 2011 at 12:18 PM

    Comment #1


  • MacToon(Vive le Neuchâtel)

    Jul 2, 2011 at 12:22 PM

    Comment #2

    Plenty of Benwell tarts here like 😉 such a delicacy.

  • Ed, I’ve never thought about or missed them…

    … Untill now 🙁

  • Toonboy_83

    Jul 2, 2011 at 12:27 PM

    Comment #4

    I never liked them anyway; what I do miss is flapjacks however!!

  • magpie6699

    Jul 2, 2011 at 12:27 PM

    Comment #5

    What about Marmite? Or Stotties?

  • roshan MAGPIE

    Jul 2, 2011 at 12:29 PM

    Comment #6

    hope we sign some players today

  • Dannyo

    Jul 2, 2011 at 12:31 PM

    Comment #7

    New striker incoming!! Bakewell Tart, seems an upcoming superstar 😛

  • archaeomag

    Jul 2, 2011 at 12:44 PM

    Comment #8

    “The famous Bakewell tart” – that is a picture of some horrid mass produced thing – worse even than Dr Kripin’s exceedingly fake cake; that sort of thing gets tarts a bad name.

  • Toonboy_83

    Jul 2, 2011 at 12:47 PM

    Comment #9

    chill archaeomag, it’s a tart, don’t get over excited…

  • RJM

    Jul 2, 2011 at 12:47 PM

    Comment #10

    Great article Ed; good to see you in good spirits and hope that equates to you feeling better as well. Keep it up! 🙂

  • jackdnufc

    Jul 2, 2011 at 12:52 PM

    Comment #11

    Pease pudding!

  • jackdnufc

    Jul 2, 2011 at 12:53 PM

    Comment #13

    Come to think of it, you do essentially miss Greggs.

  • UpTheRoad

    Jul 2, 2011 at 12:56 PM

    Comment #14

    Greggs is awesome. Without it I couldn’t survive. Its cheap as well 😛

  • MrToon

    Jul 2, 2011 at 1:03 PM

    Comment #15

    i saw a you tube clip on this tart. Scored some amazing goals. Looks like a real finisher.

  • GoalsBringSmiles

    Jul 2, 2011 at 1:13 PM

    Comment #16


    Greggs definitely isn’t cheap like, not remember 30p for a pastie? i mean, I understand inflation n all that but has anyone else noticed when they do increase their prices it’s 5, 10p at a time-that’s not inflation, it’s capitalist greed! Another fine Newcastle company gone commercial.

  • BarcelonaMag

    Jul 2, 2011 at 1:14 PM

    Comment #17

    For me, it’s fish and chips with peas, bread and butter and a cup of tea in one of those cafés in Tynemouth or Whitley Bay.

  • GoalsBringSmiles

    Jul 2, 2011 at 1:16 PM

    Comment #18

    This cake talk brings back memories…rmember lads, ‘Philip Albererererereroooooohhhhhhh, if the rest was the cake, there is the icing.’

  • Over a pund for a crappy pasty, I gave up on Greggs a cpl o years ago. Their bread’s ok though.

  • GoalsBringSmiles

    Jul 2, 2011 at 1:19 PM

    Comment #20

    Aye, they’re not even oblong anymore, crappy little square pasties-I still can’t resist a corned beef every now n then though. Speaking of bread, have you had Asda’s tiger bread-BEST BREAD EVER

  • Andy

    Jul 2, 2011 at 1:20 PM

    Comment #21

    Gregs sold it’s soul The day it started serving pain au chocolats and the like! Lol

  • Ha ha now I’m gettin hungry again…… boring Saturday with no news, atleast there’s some decent Copa America games on as the womens WC is embarrassing imo.

  • IH8_S4FC

    Jul 2, 2011 at 1:23 PM

    Comment #23

    Was planning on having a sunday dinna but now fancy me self a saveloy dip from dicksons

  • One of the first things I do when I get home is go to Greggs and stuff myself sick with pasties and pies. Last time I couldn’t manage the Cheese and Leek Wellington (also known as Cheese and onion Pasty). So will have to eat double next time.

    Of subject. Anyone tell me if that Butcher (at the bottom of Westgate road) who did/does Saveloy, Peas pudding and dip buns is still there?

  • belfastmagpie87

    Jul 2, 2011 at 1:26 PM

    Comment #25

    im just after a big slice of banoffee pie,after my lunch.
    lovely job!!!! lol

  • IH8_S4FC, think you’ve just answered my question.

  • belfastmagpie87, what’s a banoffee pie?

  • This could be it lads. The 1,000er article.

  • GoalsBringSmiles

    Jul 2, 2011 at 1:31 PM

    Comment #29

    banoffee pie is lush like-GG banana and toffee!

    Cannot beat a good strawberry cheesecake for me like

  • Not sure Gg about the butcher but there’s a great sarny shop on the side of the grainger market now(near the Black garter) sells hot pork/beef/turkey baps (don’t we all like baps 😉 ). Have to get one everytime I’m in town.

  • belfastmagpie87

    Jul 2, 2011 at 1:33 PM

    Comment #31

    @geordie german

    its a desert mate.its

  • belfastmagpie87

    Jul 2, 2011 at 1:35 PM

    Comment #32


    plus its easy to make.well it looks easy to make…
    i just whip the cream,and the misses does the rest.haha

  • I’m not really into sweet stuff. Have a thing where I binge myself, about once every 6 months (was ice cream a couple of days ago). Then can’t stand anything sweet till the next time.

  • Toon-tinted-glasses

    Jul 2, 2011 at 1:45 PM

    Comment #34

    Think I’m in a time warp where we have gone back a week….Is this a continuation of the biscuit discussion?!? LOL

  • Spike

    Jul 2, 2011 at 1:47 PM

    Comment #35

    Too much pastry in those little ones from Dr Kipling. The shop round the corner from me sells huge ones as big as a dinner plate. More of the flavour, less of the pastry.

  • Toon-tinted-glasses

    Jul 2, 2011 at 1:49 PM

    Comment #36

    Spike I would worry; that Dr Kipling is obviously a dodgy geezer pretending to be loveable old Mr Kipling ! 😉

  • Drona

    Jul 2, 2011 at 1:50 PM

    Comment #37

    Hungry now

  • Spike

    Jul 2, 2011 at 1:53 PM

    Comment #38

    Oh yeah! I think it was the Dr Crippen comment @8 that confused me!

  • sidekick

    Jul 2, 2011 at 2:10 PM

    Comment #39

    My oldest lad lives in Tampa , Florida. When I’m over there I buy key lime pies, but can,t find them here on Tyneside.
    We’ll have to open a pie exchange Ed.


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