Panic As Senegal Striker Runs Short Of Strawberry Syrup?

You learn something every day – and some things you learn are more important than others – this is very important.

Demba Ba – with magic strawberry syrup – his elixir for scoring goals

The latest news on the Newcastle web-site is that Newcastle’s star striker Demba Ba just loves strawberry syrup.

Demba Ba has revealed one of his secrets, and it’s that he just loves drinking strawberry syrup, so Newcastle have been busily scouring the continent to get sufficient supplies for the Senegal striker.

After all, anybody who has 16 goals for Newcastle this season  gets what he wants,  and  strawberry syrup has finally been put on the menu at the Newcastle club.

Phew – thank goodness for that.

The story on the web-site is that you add water to the syrup , and the club has had the Teisseire product shipped from the continent on a regular basis now, so we have to expect Demba Ba to start scoring again very shortly.

Maybe he can even get a hat-trick on Sunday at West Brom?.

It’s obviously vital to Newcastle’s strategy to keep our top striker scoring goals, and since Ba hasn’t scored now for three games, we may have to get even more syrup shipped over,  and quickly too.

Demba had this to say about his strawberry syrup, which keeps him scoring:

“I love this stuff and I will definitely be buying a few bottles for myself now that I can get it in Newcastle.

“I normally ask my family to bring some over with them whenever they visit, because I drink it every single day. Now our supporters can try it for themselves and hopefully they will like it.”

Stuart Middlemiss is the Head of Retail at Newcastle United, and he has a very important job on his hands, to keep the syrup flowing to Demba Ba.

And the  news  is that owner  Mike Ashley has instructed Stuart to spare no cost in getting those bottles of syrup to Ba, and the request has even increased in importance over the last few weeks,  because Ba hasn’t scored for three games now.

It’s not exactly panic at Newcastle, but it’s getting there. 😀

The good news is that Stuart has finally tracked down where to get the fruity syrup, and after having the bottles sent over from the South of France, our Senegalese striker’s favourite is now on sale at the Club Store and in Shearer’s Bar.

And we believe the supplies are now enough for Ba to start scoring again – that’s a huge relief!

This is what Stuart Middlemiss said today on the Newcastle web-site:

“We’ve had a lot of fans getting in touch with us to ask if we knew where they could buy the syrup, so we began the task of finding some.”

“Eventually we managed to get our hands on a limited number of bottles from the manufacturer in France.”

“So now the supporters can come down and see if they like it as much as Demba does. If it goes down well, we’ll try to get hold of more!”

It’s OK fans being able to buy the Teisseire Strawberry Syrup at the Club Store and in Shearer’s Bar now, just as long as there’s enough for Demba Ba.

As we said, this news is more important than some of the other news reports today – much more important  in fact.

92 comments so far

  • geordiefinn

    Mar 20, 2012 at 3:14 PM

    Comment #1

    Apparently we are after Virgil Van Dijk. 20 years old, cb, Plays for Groningen.

    Never heard about this lad, but hopefully it will turn out to be another gem by Graham Carr (if he signs for us)!

  • Alan_Pard_Who

    Mar 20, 2012 at 3:17 PM

    Comment #2

    Also this Kia joobirichan (can’t spell his name), he is our football advisor and the man that took tevez and mascherano to west ham.

    What do you reckon the chances are of him bringing a similar deal to st James if we get into Europe. Neymar anyone?

    But in all seriousness what is his role?

  • Alan_Pard_Who

    Mar 20, 2012 at 3:24 PM

    Comment #3

    Daniel Finn what you talking about willis?

    I hope we bring in a young cb and a talented elder one!

    Need one that’s going to bloodin into a world beater and one that can come in a challenge Saylor and Colo straight away.

  • Jan Stavik

    Mar 20, 2012 at 3:26 PM

    Comment #4

    So he has been out of his syrup for a while? He’s been on 16 goals for a while now!

  • Alan_Pard_Who

    Mar 20, 2012 at 3:27 PM

    Comment #5

    Bloodin? Turn in

  • Dannyo

    Mar 20, 2012 at 3:34 PM

    Comment #6

    I expect him to make a hattrick against WBA now 😛

  • Robby Bobson

    Mar 20, 2012 at 3:49 PM

    Comment #7

    Ba hasn’t scored for a while, but thats always been the way since Pardew has taken over.

    Carroll was scoring regularly then he leaves.

    Best was scoring regularly then Ba comes in.

    Ba was scoring regularly. Now Cisse has come in.

    We only create so many chances and they always seem to fall to the main guy in the team and now Cisse is the point striker, they fall to him.

    Ba was scoring when he had Besty or Shola doing the hold up play, but now he has had to do more of that with Cisse. As long as we have one striker banging them in, we can run out of strawberry syrup all we want.

  • t00ntime

    Mar 20, 2012 at 3:50 PM

    Comment #8

    I was wondering where his luck went? It’s back! 4 goals needed well WBA cisse on form and ba needing 6 goals, ben arfa needs to prove himself again to stay ahead of raylor! santon will want to play well, cabaye will want to prove himself better then guthrie, krul is just great and tiote will want to make up (cause he is like that)

    surely we will finally see a good performance

  • Robby Bobson

    Mar 20, 2012 at 3:51 PM

    Comment #9

    And before people slate me, when i say Ba hasn’t scored for a while, i mean by his usual standards. I’m not suggesting 5 games is a major draught.

  • Jimay

    Mar 20, 2012 at 3:52 PM

    Comment #10

    Alan_Pard_Who…sorry to upset you but Neymar is already Barca bound. It seems as they already have paid a bit of the transfer fee for him to make sure they get him.

  • t00ntime

    Mar 20, 2012 at 3:52 PM

    Comment #11

    @robby the thing is ba was our best finisher so was told to stay forward, now cisse is our best finisher! so we use ba to link up he is just as important just he links up and scores and cisse is there for the scoring (and great runs) we cant run out of syrup or ba’s luck runs out!

  • max

    Mar 20, 2012 at 3:53 PM

    Comment #12

    keep scoring

  • Robby Bobson

    Mar 20, 2012 at 3:57 PM

    Comment #13

    If all else fails we have super sub Shola.

    He has been absolutely fantastic everytime hes come off the bench this season (spurs, sunderland, even norwich) but looked utterly hopeless starting.

    Think its obvious he hasn’t got 90 in him but can destroy against tiring defenders coming on.

  • Jail for Ashley

    Mar 20, 2012 at 4:15 PM

    Comment #14

    Just reading some comments on a news feed from that interfering old hag Mark Lawro,what gives him the right to say that two top stars will be sold in the summer,jail’s too good for him.

  • ballerfan2

    Mar 20, 2012 at 4:22 PM

    Comment #15

    Lawro really can’t stand to see us above his beloved Liverpool can he? I suppose he might be proved right in the fulness of time but I don’t think so. A selling club? ….. rather like Liverpool selling Torres – for silly money. I do believe that is the only reason we will sell now. Don’t tell me Ashley is not enjoying the success we are having at the moment. I can’t see him disrupting things too much now except for really silly money to reinvest further.

  • Brettoon

    Mar 20, 2012 at 4:32 PM

    Comment #16

    I have just reported ‘Billy’ for his racist comment on the previous page about Nile Ranger.

    That sort of behaviour is disgusting!

  • Vask

    Mar 20, 2012 at 4:32 PM

    Comment #17

    He hasn’t got a clue that lawro, couldn’t fix our defence in the 90’s and now he rips into us every chance he gets, proper spanner.
    It’s the same with david pleat although i have no idea why that is.

  • cyprus

    Mar 20, 2012 at 4:33 PM

    Comment #18

    Thanks for article Baller. Hope Lawro is proved wrong. We’re getting there (Ba, Cisse, HBA, Guti, Colo, Krul + some other decent players), all we need is a ‘Silva’ and a ‘Milner’ and we’re up there!

  • t00ntime

    Mar 20, 2012 at 4:45 PM

    Comment #19

    lol funny to see how full of rubbish lawro is, he said :if a player wants to play CL football he will be sold like carrol.

    O I must of forgot 7th place qualifies u for CL -_- liverpool are in europe because the got a flukey win against cardiff!!!

  • -Tendo-

    Mar 20, 2012 at 4:46 PM

    Comment #20

    i wish an Andy Gray style scandel would happen to Lawro, i hate the cretin!

  • geoff777

    Mar 20, 2012 at 4:53 PM

    Comment #21

    Sad day when the Strawberry starts serving strawberry syrup.

    Sick of reading bllox … when’s the next game … ffs.-

  • Kc-Toon

    Mar 20, 2012 at 5:07 PM

    Comment #22

    Sad day when fans cant just have a laugh, Ed donates a lot of time to the blog, for you to call it bllox..Howa man, football isnt all about matchdays

  • Jail for Ashley

    Mar 20, 2012 at 5:12 PM

    Comment #23

    Surely when Cisse was signed he would have been given some assurances that the club was moving in the right direction and that we’d be trying to keep on to our top players.

  • Ruddy Marveaux-lous

    Mar 20, 2012 at 5:17 PM

    Comment #24

    Personally I think Lawro is talking completely out of his @rse. To say that there was no fight put up to keep Carroll is ridiculous, Liverpool offered 15, then 20 then 25 then 30, then 35 in instalments and all were rejected before they plumped up with 35mill in cold hard cash, which would have been silly to turn down. So Lawro would need to get his facts straight.

    With regards Jose, the guy was completely in it for himself, didn’t give a toss about the club, said he would consider a contract extension once we were safe, then when we were safe he refused to talk about his contract until the end of the season. And when that came around he pretty much said “bugger off I’m leaving” and the club had to accept the highest offer they received or risk losing him for nothing.

    So for him to relate those two transfers with any possible transfer of Krul or Tiote is an absurd conclusion to come to.

  • Dannyo

    Mar 20, 2012 at 5:18 PM

    Comment #25

    Transfer window isn’t too far off, plenty of chance to read bollox then 😛 This is quite good if u ask me, and great of the club to go to such lengths to please it supporters.
    An odd twist in an otherwise ordinary day.

  • stk85

    Mar 20, 2012 at 5:23 PM

    Comment #26

    i live just outside Geneva and I get this stuff in my local supermarket all the time. so much better than that crappy Ribena stuff, I know why Demba loves it so much, although by publicising it he’s giving away the fact he’s a big kid.

    hey, better than being a 35 mill lanky streaky of boozed up rubbbish in a red shirt!!!!

  • Tsunki

    Mar 20, 2012 at 5:49 PM

    Comment #27

    Has someone not come up with a strawberry syrup song? Love to see how that’s done lol.

    BTW I pledge my allegiance to the ‘Show mackem trolls the Red Card of Indifference’ campaign and shall no longer bite, especially as I still did it despite urging everyone not to. 🙂

  • Tsunki

    Mar 20, 2012 at 5:56 PM

    Comment #28

    Geoff777 @21 – ‘sick of reading bllx’ ?

    Ha ha ha man you crack me up! Wasn’t too long ago you virtually stopped a decent thread in its tracks with your ‘white spaces’ rage ha ha ha! Everyone had to stop beating you like a ginger stepchild with your rotten argument and rethink their grammar, pinctuation and sufficient spaces between paragraphs with small sentences. By the time we got a smiley face and a ‘well done!’ From you we forgot what we were talking about! You are priceless, although I do feel for you what with the short term memory thing. 🙂

    He he he he he

    He he.

  • Tsunki

    Mar 20, 2012 at 5:58 PM

    Comment #29

    Ok *punctuation. Mark me down one then. 🙁

  • GeordieGesus

    Mar 20, 2012 at 5:59 PM

    Comment #30

    Wonder what the stuff is like in vodka?

  • Klatoon

    Mar 20, 2012 at 6:06 PM

    Comment #31

    GeordieGesus,bet Andy Carroll knows 🙂

  • Dannyo

    Mar 20, 2012 at 6:10 PM

    Comment #32

    Cheers Klatoon, i had a nice evning and now i have to clean up my spill due to that comment.
    Also, u forgot a space after your comma. 😛

  • Ruddy Marveaux-lous

    Mar 20, 2012 at 6:11 PM

    Comment #33

    Tsunki I have to admit mate some of your posts are bloody priceless!!! 😀

    It was me that Geoff had the ridiculous rant about the white spaces! haha

    I forgot that but I think I am going to draw up my own list of “Banned Bloggers” and their pedantic ways haha

  • Klatoon

    Mar 20, 2012 at 6:12 PM

    Comment #34

    Dannyo,[a space]did I now? 🙂

  • Ibizatoon

    Mar 20, 2012 at 6:14 PM

    Comment #35

    Good evening all. Are we back on grammar and punctuation?

    Anyone else think Ashley is going to start producing “Sports Direct Strawberry Syrup” as his latest scheme to scam Geordies out of their money?

    Or…perhaps we could have them sponsor the ground “Strawberry Syrup Stadium” or something along those lines. Part of the deal would obviously that Demba get’s free syrup whilst he plays for Newcastle

  • Dannyo

    Mar 20, 2012 at 6:14 PM

    Comment #36

    Too litteral 😛

  • Dannyo

    Mar 20, 2012 at 6:16 PM

    Comment #37

    Just havin a bit of fun mate. “St. Syrup Park”? XD

  • Ibizatoon

    Mar 20, 2012 at 6:16 PM

    Comment #38

    *obviously be that

  • Ibizatoon

    Mar 20, 2012 at 6:17 PM

    Comment #39

    Sounds good Dannyo 😉

    I’m all for proper grammar on the blog. Would certainly stop the troll from being able to post.

  • MacToon

    Mar 20, 2012 at 6:17 PM

    Comment #40

    If Lawro has said we’ll be selling a couple of players this summer maybe he just heard Llambias say “We’ll be losing one or two names this summer”


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