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News and Commentary On Newcastle United By Ed Harrison, A Proud Exiled Geordie And Lifelong Fan

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Mike Ashley Closes In On Jose Mourinho As Newcastle Manager

12:49 am, Monday, April 1st, 2013 by Dr. Ed Harrison · 53 Comments

If you think that life is exciting at Newcastle these days – just wait until the summer – we have inside information that not only is owner Mike Ashley after “three purples” – three new top class starters for Newcastle – but Mike Ashley is also looking to bring in a manager to replace Alan Pardew.

jose mourinho - dreaming of amnagiong newcatsle

Jose Mourinho – dreaming of managing Newcastle United

And we understand a number of players will be moved out of the club in the summer – Steve Harper, Danny Simpson and maybe Gabby Obertan and Dan Gosling, and others will be brought in to strengthen the squad, and also to balance the wage bill, which is too high at the moment at 68.7% of revenues.

And Mike Ashley’s new goal is to win the European Champions League within four years and he is talking to Jose Mourinho – who is almost certain to leave Real Madrid this summer, and Jose has the experience of guiding clubs to success in Europe.

Jose won the Champions League with Porto in 2004, and six years later won it with Inter-Milan, and the hope is he can win it a third time with Newcastle United – that’s the plan anyway.

While Alan Pardew has done well at Newcastle, and had the club in 5th place last season, and won the Premier League Manager of the Year and PFA Manager of the Year awards, it’s thought he doesn’t the have the experience in Europe to take Newcastle where Mike Ashley wants the club to be – one of the top clubs in Europe.

Jose was big friends and a protegé of Sir Bobby Robson while they were together at Barcelona, and Jose knows all about Newcastle United, and Mike is hoping that will help him attract Jose, who is said to be close to agreeing terms with Newcastle on a lucrative five-year deal.

We know Jose is talking about returning to England, and maybe with Chelsea, but we understand that’s a smokescreen, as the Newcastle owner tries to complete the coup.

It’s also understood that Jose has already bought into Ashley’s strategy of buying young unknown players, based on the strong scouting of Graham Carr and his team.

And 50 year-old Jose has looked at Newcastle’s current crop of players – now with a number of top French players in the squad – and thinks he can make the current squad into a top four side as soon as next season

So we are hoping that Mike Ashley can indeed get Jose to Newcastle – because he would be a fantastic manager – and St. James’ Park would then be sold out for every home game – just like it was in the good old days when his mentor and teacher Bobby Robson was manager of Newcastle.

The goal for next season is to get into the Champions League by finishing in the top four of the Premier League – and then build on that — well that’s the plan in any case.

This all sounds very good to us.

Now let’s see – yesterday was March 31st – so today must be April 1st.

Isn’t that April Fool’s Day?

If only this story were true. 😀

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Tags: Coaching · Newcastle News · Other News · Transfer News and Rumours

53 responses so far ↓

  • 1 NobbyNolano // Apr 1, 2013 at 12:52 AM

    I liked the one the other year Ed when you had me convinced a Russian billionaire was buying NUFC!

  • 2 Eddie // Apr 1, 2013 at 12:52 AM

    Excellent. So Lee Clark it is then.

  • 3 alanshearersdiscopants // Apr 1, 2013 at 12:52 AM

    April fools! Nice one Ed.

  • 4 NUFC_LEAZES END // Apr 1, 2013 at 12:53 AM

    Worst thing I’ve ever read in my life.

  • 5 Burni // Apr 1, 2013 at 12:59 AM

    Cheers ed! Shame it couldnt be true

  • 6 Brutooon // Apr 1, 2013 at 1:00 AM

    APRIL FOOL !!!!!!!!!!!!

    Shola Ameobi is now linked with Real Madrid as a LONG TERM replacement for Ronaldo

  • 7 ~ Phoenix Warrior Perch~ // Apr 1, 2013 at 1:12 AM

    Nile Ranger scored a goal.

  • 8 connor_nufc // Apr 1, 2013 at 1:29 AM


  • 9 nightfa11 // Apr 1, 2013 at 1:34 AM

    oh cmon..i was excited for a second there:)…todays my birthday..& that news would make it a great one..

    please gentle next year :)

  • 10 jimmysmith // Apr 1, 2013 at 1:43 AM

    KEVIN KILBANE: “Sunderland is a graveyard for players and managers”

    No shit Sherlock!!!!!!!

  • 11 MacToon // Apr 1, 2013 at 2:21 AM


    Mackems are trying to outdo you Ed with their:
    O’Neil out
    Di Canio “I am a fascist, not a racist” in
    Miliband out……
    it’s all April 1st jokes no? 😉

  • 12 arctoa // Apr 1, 2013 at 2:35 AM

    Y’know… if we’d managed to get Bobby Robson when Keegan left, which we tried to do, there’s a fair chance that Mourinho would have followed him here as his assistant and heir-apparent.

    Food for thought.

  • 13 archaeomag // Apr 1, 2013 at 4:03 AM

    Very Good Ed…. I look forward to reading this story in the Tabloids.

  • 14 Oui Club United // Apr 1, 2013 at 4:24 AM

    I had a huge smile on my face then i looked my calendar :(

  • 15 terencelim // Apr 1, 2013 at 4:59 AM

    This is possible and wouldn’t be a April fool joke if we’re run by Freddie Shepherd but under Fat Mike we would have another joke – fight for relegation almost every season! :)

  • 16 Assam Toon // Apr 1, 2013 at 6:05 AM

    Ah, I got it from the headline, but was stumped when you mentioned an arab or russian buying our club…that was a couple of years ago i guess.

  • 17 hugenufcfan // Apr 1, 2013 at 6:08 AM

    i was fooled last year after reading the heading. not this time :)

  • 18 geordiemark // Apr 1, 2013 at 6:30 AM

    excellent april fools good one hahaha

  • 19 Ashley for Prime Minister // Apr 1, 2013 at 6:31 AM

    oh shit me!! I was reading and believing for a minute, only just woken up to that news lol!!
    Well done ed

  • 20 Grafton83 // Apr 1, 2013 at 6:41 AM

    If only, I’d rather give Cheryl cole the job than see Pards here for another year. Oh well only another 7 years left on that contract.

  • 21 wilko // Apr 1, 2013 at 6:58 AM

    brilliant april fool, you got me , oh yeah, forgot, every year you get me :)

  • 22 Ben3arfa // Apr 1, 2013 at 7:23 AM

    Dreams are for free I suppose ..

  • 23 cyprus // Apr 1, 2013 at 7:34 AM

    Nice one ED!
    In real life, MA should hire a Technical Manager (or something like that), someone who will help AP in analysing other teams’ weaknesses, strengths, opportunities, threats; our own tactics, selection, rotation etc.
    This would save face for AP (he would be THE manager). After all, management teams are today’s thing.

  • 24 cyprus // Apr 1, 2013 at 7:36 AM

    So, Sunderland have a FASCIST manager! Smacks of desperation…

  • 25 Jail for Ashley // Apr 1, 2013 at 7:44 AM

    There was always going to be extra games,we didn’t just suddenly find out on August 31st that we’d be playing at least an extra six games,the squad was too thin for a PL challenge never mind a an EL as well,how could a group of businessmen and football “experts” sit round a table and decide that we didn’t need a CB that Danny Simpson was good enough and that an out for the season RTaylor was good enough cover at LB.

  • 26 cyprus // Apr 1, 2013 at 7:47 AM

    A fascist and not a racist? That can’t be Paolo. How will you deal with your black players?

  • 27 Jail for Ashley // Apr 1, 2013 at 8:17 AM

    Despite his political views DiCanio is a colourful character but Im hoping that his spell in 5unde1and is a complete disaster,I would still prefer Wigan and Villa go down ahead of the mackems though but wouldn’t be bothered either way.

  • 28 Sheikh MagToon // Apr 1, 2013 at 8:19 AM

    Wonder how DIC brain is going to get on with the terrorist supporter McLean. Fireworks (or IEDs) expected.

  • 29 Jail for Ashley // Apr 1, 2013 at 8:23 AM

    Didn’t Mashley already try that one with the internationally renowned Dennis Wise,even if he did want that option he wouldn’t listen to Beardo or Carr and go out an appoint someone like Tony Adams.

  • 30 hugenufcfan // Apr 1, 2013 at 8:42 AM


    pardew really baffles me. The press conf he gave b4 the city match made me think he would attack city from the word go, but it turned out he had just the opposite in mind.
    He talked about things like mancini’s mind games wont work on this. WTF.
    My advice to pardumb, either you shut it mate or you walk the talk.

  • 31 Graeme // Apr 1, 2013 at 8:49 AM

    Aye Ed – If only, eh!!

  • 32 Jail for Ashley // Apr 1, 2013 at 8:53 AM

    If the unthinkable happens and we get relegated I hope that all those that steadfastly defended Mike Ashleys decision not to strengthen last summer take a good look at yourselves.

  • 33 Hatem's better than Messi // Apr 1, 2013 at 8:59 AM

    Cruel post.

    Hope Pardew wins the Europa League if not sack him in May.
    We’ve been useless all season.

    Time for a “purple” manager this one’s fifty shades of brown.

  • 34 Jail for Ashley // Apr 1, 2013 at 9:09 AM

    There’s no way Mashley can point the finger at Pards when it was ultimately him that made the football decision not to fully strengthen the squad last summer,they even had us believe that we were in for players in what was a fruitless window the admission later in the season that that was the gameplan all along makes me sick to the stomach,even after the injury to RTaylor Llambias was smug enough to make Parts tell us we had enough in the tank.

  • 35 tooninspain // Apr 1, 2013 at 9:22 AM

    Trashley…..can you talk about anything else than Mike Ashley? Anyone would think you had a morbid fetish. I think we all understand you don’t like him, now try and contribute something different…..Happy Easter!

  • 36 toonbrother // Apr 1, 2013 at 9:26 AM

    sunderland are pitiful. Di canio ? good lord. I hope they go down this and next season. Mind you pardumb isnt much of an upgrade

  • 37 bills-son // Apr 1, 2013 at 9:28 AM

    Jail, where did Llambias say the gameplan all along was not to sign players in the summer?

    I don’t believe he said that at all. What he said was that when they couldn’t get the targets they wanted – Debuchy and De Jong for instance – they decided to wait because they thought (wrongly as since admitted) that the squad was strong enough to wait until Jan and the summer.

    You make it sound as if they deliberately wound up the fans and stuck two fingers up at Pardew. I think that is a distortion of the truth by a mile.

    Having said that, Ashley and Llambias made the wrong decision and if we stay up I bet they don’t make the same mistake again. Ashley will know that the downside of his mistake could be catastrophic.

  • 38 jesperfuglsang - captain of the lemon crew // Apr 1, 2013 at 9:31 AM

    I know it is April 1st, but Ed you had me at Jose Mourinho 😉 lol

  • 39 Jail for Ashley // Apr 1, 2013 at 9:31 AM

    I tend to discuss lots of different topics onthe blog but since the flavour of the weekend seems to be laying the blame firmly on Pardews head so Im throwing my opinion as to why I think otherwise,anybody would think that you had an insatiable fetish for acting like a pr!ck toward other blog members.

  • 40 tooninspain // Apr 1, 2013 at 9:35 AM

    Trash….you never fail to bite, wee man.

  • 41 Jail for Ashley // Apr 1, 2013 at 9:37 AM

    I disagree ,there is a statement from Llambias saying that they sat around a table and decided that we had enough in the squad to see us through,Bills if I told all my pals I was buying a brand new Porsche then turned up at the showroom with 15k in theory I could say I tried to buy the car.

  • 42 jesperfuglsang - captain of the lemon crew // Apr 1, 2013 at 9:39 AM

    Yes J4A we are all furious at MA for not buying the likes of Messi and Ronaldo!

    …he really screwed us over…how can you expect a team that finished 5th to cope with until signing tho first team players. What a tool MA is!

    Noway Pardew could do a job with what he’s got until January – just look at lesser teams. Even Laudrup at Swansea is hopeless!

    Ashley out!

  • 43 jesperfuglsang - captain of the lemon crew // Apr 1, 2013 at 9:40 AM

    *with only signing two first team players

  • 44 one Tony Green // Apr 1, 2013 at 9:49 AM

    @j4a. Cannot believe someone on this site would say they would like to see the mackems stay up. Give your head a shake.

  • 45 tooninspain // Apr 1, 2013 at 9:50 AM

    If there is a meeting to discuss whether or not “we had enough players to see us through”, whose voice needs to be the loudest?….Pardew’s of course. He has openly admitted he expected more from the youngsters….in fact he went as far as to publicly criticise them. No way can Ashley be held responsible for thinking the youngsters are good enough. What he is responsible for is Pardew’s appointment. Ashley doesn’t like failure in business, and NUFC is a business.There’s more likelihood of us changing our manager than the owner.

  • 46 JakartaDean // Apr 1, 2013 at 10:10 AM

    Dammit Ed! You had me going for a minute there. Forgot about April 1.

  • 47 Troy Stavers // Apr 1, 2013 at 11:44 AM

    Really Ed!!!! Oh that’s fantastic!!

  • 48 pethmag // Apr 1, 2013 at 12:46 PM

    If ashley had any real ambition then mourinho would of been perfect for newcastle unforunately we have clueless pardew

  • 49 puretoon // Apr 1, 2013 at 2:00 PM

    You really had me going there Ed 😉 we can but dream as that’s a it will be . .. .

    We have some really decent players here, but a clueless manager who doesn’t know how to play them

  • 50 BarcelonaMag // Apr 1, 2013 at 2:56 PM

    The omens are bad for Di Canio. A certain Alan Shearer took over the reins at Newcastle on April’s fools day a few years back when they were in a similar situation to us. Remember what happened!

  • 51 Byker Boy // Apr 1, 2013 at 3:21 PM

    Mind I’d heard Fergusons name mentioned like!

  • 52 chuck // Apr 1, 2013 at 4:40 PM

    About as subtle as your usual stuff Ed.
    Try harder !

  • 53 arctoa // Apr 1, 2013 at 7:12 PM

    @ 44

    What’s wrong with wanting the mackems in the Premier League? They’re a proper club with a decent heritage, and of course there’s the matter of the derby matches.

    I like to see all north-east teams do well, just so long as they’re not doing as well as Newcastle. Hah. Perpetual lower mid-table obscurity for Sunderland plus at least 4 points a season from them, sounds pretty ideal to me. The sooner the smoggies get back up to be soundly thrashed on a yearly basis the better, too.

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