Newcastle University Now Sports Direct.com University


Taking advantage of April Fools Day,  Newcastle University students on Sunday night changed the name of the University to Sport Direct.com University. Well would you believe it.

newcastle university

The new signs at Newcastle University

Having spent three years in the late 1960s as a post-graduate student there – when it was still called Newcastle University – I know how the students can be a bit wild – especially after a few beers in the Union.

But this beats the lot.

And here’s the piece taken directly from the Newcastle Student Union, about the caper:

Newcastle has come under the spotlight today, after members of the general public quickly noticed that the University has sold the naming rights to some of its buildings, and that of the organisation itself.

Taking place under the cover of darkness on Sunday night; early commuters arrived to see a crane replacing the University’s iconic logo with that of Sports Direct. However, whilst this may be a growing trend in other industries, with the local St. James’ Park having undergone a similar path in recent years, students have been in uproar to the news that they would be now attending, and receiving their degrees from, the ‘Sports Direct University’.

Whilst an official press conference has been announced for Tuesday to discuss the changes, University spokesman Ru Jokin described the developments as “a fantastic opportunity to bring in some money, that will really improve the services that we provide our students with”.

Comments from Sports Direct were more forthcoming, as their Marketing Director Haven Alaff enthusiastically spouted “You can’t find a better advertising opportunity beyond every student having ‘Sports Direct University’ on their CV’s, for the rest of their lives.”

Changes haven’t just halted at Kings’ Gate either, as the University looks to maximise future revenue, with the announcement that several other historic buildings would see similar name changes. These include, the newly crowned ‘Burger King’s Hall’, and ‘Robinson Fruit Shoot Library’, which are likely to provoke not just anger amongst current students, but also a certain amount of laughter from rival Northumbria students.

In what the University are championing as their “Global Appeal”, they have also won the backing of a US multi-national chocolate manufacturer, as the Herschel Building is to be known as ‘The Hershey’s Building’ from September. As part of this exclusivity deal, it has been agreed that all on campus vending machines, shops, and cafes, must only sell Hershey’s products, removing the options of Cadbury’s and Mars.

It’s all an April Fools spoof.

And did you hear the one about Jose Mourinho coming to Newcastle in the summer – but from what we can tell – that one is actually true.

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146 comments so far

  • archaeomag

    Apr 2, 2013 at 11:18 AM

    Comment #1

    Ed; I studied at Newcastle – and it is a joke University !

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  • wreker16

    Apr 2, 2013 at 11:24 AM

    Comment #2

    Ed, we need a poll on remy: would you take loic remy if QPR went down?

    I think I would to be honest, he would need to prove himself after snubbing us first time and I’m sure he could be made to take a pay cut that is assuming he wants to come

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  • Transfer Sage

    Apr 2, 2013 at 11:26 AM

    Comment #3

    northumbria unviersity is the place to be….poly over posh

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  • Rainrix

    Apr 2, 2013 at 11:27 AM

    Comment #4

    Please everyone knows sunderland uni is where its at, have you guys not seen the ads?

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  • Carryingcoals

    Apr 2, 2013 at 11:28 AM

    Comment #5

    archaeomag

    As did I. Do you mean it isn’t very good or that it’s light-hearted?

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  • ichrisho

    Apr 2, 2013 at 11:28 AM

    Comment #6

    Dont bother with a POLL… hes a tool and we dont need him… why take someone who turned us down!!!

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  • Transfer Sage

    Apr 2, 2013 at 11:30 AM

    Comment #7

    ichrisho

    because he scores goals, has pace and is clinical?

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  • check the toastie

    Apr 2, 2013 at 11:34 AM

    Comment #8

    I just want a new manager, dont give a f#ck about Remy.

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  • Transfer Sage

    Apr 2, 2013 at 11:35 AM

    Comment #9

    why do people think all the french boys joined us? to win something? to live in newcastle? the weather?

    or was it because they would double/triple their income with us.

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  • ichrisho

    Apr 2, 2013 at 11:42 AM

    Comment #10

    @Sage – He isn’t that clinical… and we can find many better who can score goals and have a bit of dignity about them… Anyone who turns down NUFC for QPR deserves to disappear. We should look at Luc Castignos.

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  • Transfer Sage

    Apr 2, 2013 at 11:45 AM

    Comment #11

    4 goals in 6….hasa good record in the 2 years prior to coming to england, better than 1 in 2 for the previous 2 seasons.

    He has looked very good for QPR. If we can get him for around 5mil or less with them going down then it would be great business.

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  • Rainrix

    Apr 2, 2013 at 11:46 AM

    Comment #12

    Regardless of wether people want remy or not i honestly doubt the club will go back to him and i doubt he’d want to come here after he’s been criticised by just about everyone newcastle related publicly.
    Can you even imagine the awkwardness in his post signing interviews on the club site etc?

    Im sure carr has plenty of striker targets lined up for the summer. We just need to wait and see.

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  • Transfer Sage

    Apr 2, 2013 at 11:48 AM

    Comment #13

    ichrisho

    castaignos hasn’t got a great record either….he is young and has potential but we need a striker ready to get us goals from the get go.

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  • Grafton83

    Apr 2, 2013 at 11:48 AM

    Comment #14

    Just ridiculous, boo hoo he accepted more money elsewhere. If your not a geordie there’s no reason to prefer us when more money is on the table. Everyone in their right mind would do the exact same thing.

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  • Transfer Sage

    Apr 2, 2013 at 11:49 AM

    Comment #15

    rainrix

    Fair point. I can’t see it, just saying i would like too.

    Sure if we are prepared to spend we can get a very good forward. Would love a suarez/aguero type.

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  • Grafton83

    Apr 2, 2013 at 11:53 AM

    Comment #16

    Check the toastie, Pardew is going nowhere, even if he took a poop on mike ashleys head he still wouldn’t get fired. He is easy for DL and MA to manage, like a puppet, that’s what the owners want and as much as he is tactically useless that doesn’t really matter to them hence the 8 year contract.

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  • Rainrix

    Apr 2, 2013 at 11:55 AM

    Comment #17

    Sage… Yup just the type we need, different to cisse which would be nice, although such players are rare.

    Heard anything regarding transfers? I need transfer teasing a bit 🙂

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  • ichrisho

    Apr 2, 2013 at 11:56 AM

    Comment #18

    Sage

    I know what you mean – and sure we could get REMY on the cheap… although I do think they would want some of their money back – mind you they havent a clue what they are doing down there – running QPR like an airline.. I still reckon we need a younger guy – someone who has played a good 3 years in top flight and done well… I really though VonWolfswinkel would have been it but crafty Chris has got in ahead of us… Prob because of weekly wage… by the by who is the top of our wage pile? Is it Collo?

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  • Toon-Prodigy

    Apr 2, 2013 at 12:04 PM

    Comment #19

    I wouldn’t want a player here who’s main motivation is money. While I know money plays a huge part in the modern game not everyone is like him. If he went to a top four club I could maybe understand the snub.

    With him supposed to be travelling down here after prelimenary talks and him not even having the decency to show rather to lye in bed for an extra few hrs.

    I think we owe it to the club to stay well clear of such players.

    For me. it wasn’t just the actual snub, but the whole saga and the disrespect shown. He dosn’t stand out to be a very classy individual at all to me. And his past and personal life is not the best either.

    Surely there are better options.

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  • Munster Mag

    Apr 2, 2013 at 12:05 PM

    Comment #20

    Havent been able to log in for days….What has been the reaction re Somalia’s new manager?? He will keep them up no problem, sadly. How are people feeling – do we still have ability or is it now looking like guys like Mbiwa are not that great ?

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  • Transfer Sage

    Apr 2, 2013 at 12:10 PM

    Comment #21

    rainrix

    Nothing really…not spoke a great deal so not heard any details. Only small bit I heard was that to expect a summer like january in terms of signings so that would be good…but that’s pretty vague. I’ll let you know if I hear more.

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  • JAMSHA

    Apr 2, 2013 at 12:11 PM

    Comment #22

    How Many Players Are Jst 1 Season Wonder??? Look At Cisse, Same Gona Happen With Remy

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  • check the toastie

    Apr 2, 2013 at 12:12 PM

    Comment #23

    Munster – the players we have were great before they came and are great now, they are not the problem, we are signing international class players and dragging them down, it is sad to see and we need a change in our coaching setup.

    Graham Carr must be well pissed when he watches us setup to contain every team we play against.

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  • Transfer Sage

    Apr 2, 2013 at 12:17 PM

    Comment #24

    munster

    Still good players, in the 8 league games since they signed only outclassed once, away at city….been in all other games.

    I think the problem is we are struggling to create chances…cisse is 40/50 yards ahead of the midfield unless we are chasing the game then we get players around him and look a different team, they all come alive.

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  • Rainrix

    Apr 2, 2013 at 12:18 PM

    Comment #25

    Sage… Cool i hope we get the same activity again. No doubt the rumour mill will pick up pace in the coming months. 🙂

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  • Transfer Sage

    Apr 2, 2013 at 12:18 PM

    Comment #26

    jamsha

    cisse has had a very prolific career, had a bad spell this year but so has the team as a whole. He has had limited chances….i bet his chance conversion percentage isn’t much different to a lot of strikers in the league.

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  • check the toastie

    Apr 2, 2013 at 12:20 PM

    Comment #27

    In the summer i would be making our biggest signing the manager, would go and pay a boat load of money for a winner such as Frank De Boer from Ajax, just go and offer the man a decent contract and watch our football improve hand over fist.

    We have a boat load of Rolls Royce players being serviced by some dodgy old past it second hand car dealer. It is such a sad situation to be in.

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  • ichrisho

    Apr 2, 2013 at 12:22 PM

    Comment #28

    Aye the whole team would be sold over thrice… rather than Pardew going anywhere… Imagine how Scumberland feel… Jaysus… he is going to totally deflect from how bad they are but at the same time – he’s no miracle worker… what a crazy move by Sunderland… cant wait to see what shenanigans he plays for the Derby… time at the Toon just got a whole lot more interesting… lets hope they stay up… (first and only time I will say that)

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  • Transfer Sage

    Apr 2, 2013 at 12:25 PM

    Comment #29

    rainrix

    Yeh. I’m not as lucky as torq to have direct contact with football people in clubs…just a friend on the business side so just hear internal rumour and the stuff they get off friends/colleagues in the club or if they get an unusual number of calls from a certain clubs etc.

    So Torq will be best for rumours now, might have heard us scouting players or spoke to a few people out there.

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  • Munster Mag

    Apr 2, 2013 at 12:27 PM

    Comment #30

    Whats been the reaction on here to Di Canio? I missed u guys!!

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  • robin

    Apr 2, 2013 at 12:27 PM

    Comment #31

    The only ones that complain about, Newcastle University, are the plebs that have to attend, Northumbria University or that dreadful Newcastle College.

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  • Transfer Sage

    Apr 2, 2013 at 12:28 PM

    Comment #32

    I think Di Canio will be good for them. He will get them being more attacking anyway, whether it saves them or not I don’t know but O’neil was out of ideas, they never looked like scoring, made us look like brazil.

    It certainly adds some spice to the derby, can see them going 442, seems his favourite plan so I think that will give us plenty time to hit them on the break as they will come at us.

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  • check the toastie

    Apr 2, 2013 at 12:28 PM

    Comment #33

    Di Canio is a total egomaniac, however he may get some improvement initally out of the scruffs, however cant see him ever staying with a club for any length of time, the man is a balloon, reckon he would be a laugh for 12 months mind.

    Actually expecting the unthinkable and them turning us over at our place, we seem to have lost our mojo again and Pardew is now due another 10 game unbeaten run, if that happens we are in the championship. Lets hope the players can bail the incompotent fool out.

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  • Transfer Sage

    Apr 2, 2013 at 12:29 PM

    Comment #34

    robin

    nothing wrong with northumbria university…very good university just without the tradition of newcastle uni.

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  • Grafton83

    Apr 2, 2013 at 12:29 PM

    Comment #35

    I’ve got no problem with Sunderland going down, that’s one less relagation spot for us to find ourselves in so double bonus there. I don’t hate them though, I think it’s mostly pity I feel.

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  • Rainrix

    Apr 2, 2013 at 12:30 PM

    Comment #36

    Sage… Just a shame that torq doesn’t appear as regularly anymore. Hopefully he’ll show up again come summer.

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  • Lilongwe Geordie

    Apr 2, 2013 at 12:33 PM

    Comment #37

    I wasn’t too worried about missing out on Remy at the time (although I had fully expected us to land another strike target) and wouldn’t be too bothered if we ignored him come the end of the season. I’d imagine we already have a list of potential strike targets and are watching them extensively to make a well informed decision come the summer.

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  • Transfer Sage

    Apr 2, 2013 at 12:34 PM

    Comment #38

    grafton

    I think it will be one of sunderland, wigan or villa to face the drop with the other 2 spots nailed on already for reading and qpr. I’d like it to be wigan or villa….i like the derby.

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  • Grafton83

    Apr 2, 2013 at 12:35 PM

    Comment #39

    Di Canio hasn’t even had a full season in league 1 yet, although his record was good at that level it’s a big jump from successful league two and overspending league 1 manager to Prem.

    I wouldn’t be suprised if he is totally overwhelmed and completly flops.

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  • Transfer Sage

    Apr 2, 2013 at 12:35 PM

    Comment #40

    rainrix

    yeh i know, this place is so much better during january i think…a lot more posters.

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