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It’s Been Utterly Hopeless Since We Beat Stoke 5-1

9:04 am, Wednesday, April 9th, 2014 by Dr. Ed Harrison · 85 Comments

Alan Pardew is under fire this week, after the five game she has been banned so far we have lost four and scored only one goal – that last minute winner against Crystal Palace.

alan pardew clos-up

Alan Pardew – we need a result

And the manager is clear that we need a result at Stoke City on Saturday, but that’s not going to be easy with the form the side has been in of late.

This is what Alan Pardew told the Shields Gazette today:

“It’s a week where we going to have to take the criticism that comes our way,” “But most importantly, we have to work between now and Stoke and get a formula to get us a result.”

“That’s really what we need – a result and a goal or more.” “We’ve got to make sure everybody’s available,” “Maybe we’ll have Loic back, maybe Tim will be back.”

“Loic’s not far away – it will be a boost if we can get him back in and around us.” “Hopefully, we can for Stoke, because that’s a big game for us.”

We should finish in 9th place at least in the league but at the moment Stoke are only 6 points behind us so a defeat at Stoke would mean Stoke can catch us.

And if we continue our dire results in the last five games of the season, that could happen and then we’d finish 10th – and our form in the final 20 games of the season will have been  relegation form.

And that doesn’t bode well for next season.

So we definitely need some top players brought in over the summer.

And since we beat a 9 man Stoke side 5-1 on Boxing Day, that ended a run of seven wins in nine games, and in the 15 league games since then we have lost ten and gained only 13 points, and failed to score in 11 of those games.

And we also lost 2-1 in the FA Cup to Cardiff City in January, who are second bottom of the league.

It’s not good. :(

Comments welcome.

Tags: Coaching · FA Cup · Premier League · Transfer News and Rumours


85 responses so far ↓

  • 1 the truth will out // Apr 9, 2014 at 9:23 AM

    apathy reigns supreme

  • 2 BandB // Apr 9, 2014 at 9:27 AM

    “This run has underlined that a lack of options, my players have put in an honest performance. But they have not been good enough either as a squad or as team.” Alan Pardew, this week.

    Could this be the same run that started after the transfer window closed? The transfer window in which Pardew stated that he had his strongest ever squad with cover for all eventualities?

    I am confounded that anyone continues to respect any of this man’s utterances. He contradicts himself with such bare-faced, brass-neck, it seems that he must take us for fools with the attention span of goldfish.

    In the instance above, he is guilty of either shocking bad judgement, or of making a statement he knew to be untrue for reasons of rank expediency.

  • 3 jesperfuglsang - captain of the lemon crew // Apr 9, 2014 at 9:33 AM

    You could issue Parsnip a carte blanche and nothing would really change!

    …would just be a waste of money :(

  • 4 Average_Contents // Apr 9, 2014 at 9:46 AM


    I would say it’s a bit of both as his lack of judgement is non existent, coupled with the fact he is clearly complicit in cashleys Web of lies and deceit

  • 5 Sav // Apr 9, 2014 at 9:47 AM

    I fear Stoke are bent on administering retribution.

  • 6 Geremi's Prosthetic Leg Fund // Apr 9, 2014 at 9:47 AM

    The way I see it, he’s relying and blaming it all on one player: Remy not being available.
    That is just not an excuse, Cisse was a 9m striker who should be more than adequate for us to score. How can he simply ignore that and say he’s got no attacking options!? Buck lies with him. He got Cisse into his rut, therefore he takes the blame. Terrible manager, even worse coach.

  • 7 Rotonda heights // Apr 9, 2014 at 9:54 AM

    Today’s Pardish

    He’s now saying that after his superlative coaching players who leave NUFC hardly do better !!!

    Really? Who would have Routledge back instead of Obertan? Enrique is with possible league champions, Harper is in a Wembley semi final.

    FROM T.O.T.T
    - – - – - – - – - – -

    A Champion’s League quarter final with 2 former players against each other tonight, with one putting through the ball of the night only for the striker to fail, and the other scoring the winning goal.

    It’s a shame they met so early in the competition. A competition Pardew could only dream of keeping the opposition scoring less than ten per match.

    I noticed John Terry talking tonight about the three different scenario’s they practised on defence in training, dependant on the score. Trying out different formations and working through it again and again, so that they all knew their job, and could defend in a manner which changed the options of the attackers.

    Contrast this with t-t head features, who probably practises nothing but whatever b—s—t excuse he’ll use when we go 3 or 4 down.

    He’s gone by half one in the afternoon to look in the mirror whilst imagining s—-ing someone’s wife, whilst the very rich Chelsea players practice drills.

    Has anybody seen any evidence of our players having practised anything during the week, other than the summer holiday defence?

  • 8 70TWO // Apr 9, 2014 at 9:59 AM

    BandB – right on!

    Pardew has lost his own respect, evidenced by the ‘head but situation’, by only saying what he thinks people want to hear. He should refer to the old moto, ‘if you cant say something honest say nothing’ and he may regain his own and others respect.

  • 9 toonarmydownsouth // Apr 9, 2014 at 10:01 AM

    Tear up LDJ’s loan contract
    Get Shola to give Cisse a lift when he leaves
    Search down the back of MA’s sofa and get big Demba back in black and white

  • 10 Rotonda heights // Apr 9, 2014 at 10:06 AM


    ”trust me” and
    ”to be honest with you”

    are his 2 biggest catchphrases! only someone who is the polar opposite would keep saying it.

  • 11 70TWO // Apr 9, 2014 at 10:07 AM

    Rotonda heights

    Didn’t Pardew say that for the Southampton match they went through their tactical formation(s?) on a white board only? I presume because they had a midweek match they were unable to do the ‘normal’ body programming scenarios. Now that is literally taking it one match at a time, no wonder he picks the same team again and again.

  • 12 Oldgit1 // Apr 9, 2014 at 10:08 AM

    I see he is churning his excuses already. What is this guy on. I’m sick of all the dribble that comes from his mouth. Infact I’m sick and tired of all the lies, deceit that are being fed to the supporters of this fine club.

    I’m slowly losing the will to live, we seem to go from one disaster to another. I can’t imagine what we are going to end up as a team next season. Ok if we get new players in, do anyone think they will hit the ground running or as usual they will need a season to bed in. We appear to have lost the spine of the team.

    Next season will be a non event or we will struggle to beat the drop. Mark my words.
    We need a management change but who would want to come to a team that is run by the owner, what power has the manager got, none!!

  • 13 Rotonda heights // Apr 9, 2014 at 10:09 AM

    geremi plf

    everton were without Lukaku for 2 months !!

  • 14 Rotonda heights // Apr 9, 2014 at 10:12 AM


    at least a proper manager could bring a different style and we wouldn’t have to suffer pardew’s endless garbage and verbal diarrhoea.

  • 15 70TWO // Apr 9, 2014 at 10:13 AM


    In the metaphoric world of ‘already on the beach’, Stoke will be kicking sand in to our players faces at Britannia-on-sea.

  • 16 Rotonda heights // Apr 9, 2014 at 10:15 AM


    it’s alarming isn’t it.

  • 17 70TWO // Apr 9, 2014 at 10:20 AM


    One of Pardews concerns about the stadium ban was that ‘he wouldn’t have those off chance, face to face moments to for example say to Cisse “today is the day”.’
    Now that is either an example of fine man management or proverbial clutching at straws. Where is the training pitch routines that would provide a player with the confidence that he will score?

  • 18 70TWO // Apr 9, 2014 at 10:21 AM

    Rotonda heights

    it’s nuclear.

  • 19 70TWO // Apr 9, 2014 at 10:28 AM


    It is surprising that Pardew does not realise how much he digs his own hole. OK the quotes are taken out of a more extended interview, but reading again what he has said above he is reliant on individuals returning and has no consistent ‘formula’. No matter how much he would like to blame players coming in for not performing, that is only a reflection on him.

  • 20 70TWO // Apr 9, 2014 at 10:30 AM


    I would not be sure Sholla is leaving until we see the back of him, then again Carlton Cole still came back!

  • 21 GEORDIE69 // Apr 9, 2014 at 10:32 AM

    Lets not forget that Stoke were dominating the game until the sending off. We can not have another season of this. MAKE YOUR VOICE HEARD PEOPLE, or be sit back and shut up.

  • 22 Oldgit1 // Apr 9, 2014 at 10:41 AM

    Perhaps a new manager is what needed, but can’t see anyone coming in and work with the restraints imposed by the owner.

    Going by history the manager has to be a known friend of the owner, ie JFK, Pardew I don’t believe he knows too many potential ex players or managers except Hoddle, perhaps there is something in the reported rumours going round that he may have some involvement with the club. Can’t see him becoming the next manager though.

    There is also the so called 8 year contract of Pardew to consider, can’t see the owner writing off the remaining term of his contract.

    Can’t see any improvement in this club league position Infact I only see a downward spiral to the championship and beyond with this current set up.

  • 23 martoon // Apr 9, 2014 at 10:48 AM

    I’m not making excuses for him because it is Pardew’s own fault but it must make a difference him not being on the touch line. I’m sure you lot at work skive a bit when the boss is out the office and work harder when he/she returns – it’s human nature.

  • 24 70TWO // Apr 9, 2014 at 10:52 AM


    I am certainly fed up with false dawns, but we shall no doubt have to wait and see what investment is made in the squad over the summer and whether Pardew slips up again next season. Once the proverbial hits the fan Ashley may be inclined to fire him and install a local like Steve Bruce to appease the fans. The remaining value of Pardews contract can not be that high in comparison to being relegated.

  • 25 70TWO // Apr 9, 2014 at 10:55 AM


    Thanks for the reminder, better get gone.

  • 26 mag // Apr 9, 2014 at 10:57 AM

    It should read utterly hopeless since Pardew took charge of Newcastle United and tried turning them into a larger version of Charlton athletic.

  • 27 Rotonda heights // Apr 9, 2014 at 11:02 AM


    he was on the touchline when we finished 16th, when he virtually relegated west ham and did relegate charlton down to the bottom 3 of the championship.

    pardew should carry a health warning – this man can seriously damage your club

  • 28 mag // Apr 9, 2014 at 11:04 AM

    Pardew supposedly coaches the squad all week so him being missing on the touchline should be negligible. The facts are he’s not good enough for Newcastle United.

  • 29 70TWO // Apr 9, 2014 at 11:06 AM

    Just one last point, it seems from the interviews with Pardew and players alike that it is all about the result. We are intelligent enough to accept not winning if the performances were any where near good enough and the squad was being used better. Completely missing the focus of fans anger again.

  • 30 Rotonda heights // Apr 9, 2014 at 11:07 AM


    i wonder if the compo we would have to pay is really that much. if he is on a rumoured 400k per annum, then 6 x that is not the 10m being bandied about and probably just one bad night at the casino for ash.

    i’d take hoddle, intelligent, good football not a constant b—-s—–r etc.

  • 31 cyprus // Apr 9, 2014 at 11:08 AM

    point taken about Pards @7, but don’t some Chelsea players also practice shxxxng? :)

  • 32 nut meg // Apr 9, 2014 at 11:08 AM

    Process & formula’s,most people just have a game plan……..or is it me?

  • 33 cyprus // Apr 9, 2014 at 11:09 AM

    Hoddle? Sure. Laudrup? Definitely.

  • 34 cyprus // Apr 9, 2014 at 11:11 AM

    Were Shearer and KK MA’s friends? Don’t think so.
    No, he went with ‘popular’ choice and got burned twice. Now he’s just getting burnt with his man.

  • 35 mag // Apr 9, 2014 at 11:12 AM

    Losing in the 3rd rounds of the FA cup every season to inferior opposition 3 straight defeats to Sunderland a team that has conceded 11 goals in its last 3 games without reply. Taxi for Pardew!

  • 36 Rotonda heights // Apr 9, 2014 at 11:12 AM

    apparently being let back in the stadium was going to give the players the benefit of his ”winning mentality”. where pardew gets this delusional notion of himself ever being a winner or that his teams play on the front foot is hilarious.

  • 37 Rotonda heights // Apr 9, 2014 at 11:13 AM


    i know one who does!!

  • 38 toon kk // Apr 9, 2014 at 11:14 AM

    Once we’re relegated at least we can compete both financially and on the pitch. Next season will be our last in the premier league perhaps it’s for the best. I can’t bear the way things are, no money, no ambition, poor squad and diabolical football.
    Something has to change.

  • 39 mag // Apr 9, 2014 at 11:16 AM

    Someone should pull the moron up short and impress on him Newcastle United fans realise that they won’t win the Premier league but a decent cup run is the least we expect.

  • 40 jesperfuglsang - captain of the lemon crew // Apr 9, 2014 at 11:27 AM

    Hoddle? We don’t have fond memories of him here in DK as a manager!

    As a player he was often a discarded by the National side because he was a Maverick – Brits don’t like their Mavericks. And when he became a manager he did just the same :(

    …and don’t we have enough eccentricity as it is?
    Why would we want a manager like that?

  • 41 Rotonda heights // Apr 9, 2014 at 11:33 AM


    it would be more fun than the misery making goon we have right now

  • 42 jesperfuglsang - captain of the lemon crew // Apr 9, 2014 at 11:36 AM

    RH…but it would also mean any Maverick or flair player would have to be content with the bench!

  • 43 jesperfuglsang - captain of the lemon crew // Apr 9, 2014 at 11:36 AM

    …which is the case as it is ;)

  • 44 Rotonda heights // Apr 9, 2014 at 11:39 AM

    toon kk

    starting to wonder if it would be that bad. if that’ what it took to get rid of of ash and the ”unsackable one”.

    ash was too greedy to take the mansour’s money so maybe a slide down a division to make him sell cheaper is the only option.

    i’m really worried about the land ash has acquired too

  • 45 Rotonda heights // Apr 9, 2014 at 11:48 AM


    Hoddle was a victim of being a flair and so called ” luxury” player so I think he would have a lot of time for more creative players.

  • 46 jesperfuglsang - captain of the lemon crew // Apr 9, 2014 at 11:50 AM

    RH…as I recall s ocalled “luxury players” were luxury players when he was manager?

    …He even omitted Gazza as manager for England.

  • 47 hadthetshirt // Apr 9, 2014 at 12:11 PM

    It’s time to show ashley some love.Let me get my pants down before you smack my arse :)
    People call him a fat cockney what not,sing anti ashley songs every game.What does he do.He lies in bed thinking I will show them thick geordies.I am making money,and they hate pardwho and I am annoying them on both counts :)
    If we showed him some love he wouldnt know how to handle it.He would sack the useless manager and maybe spend some money.
    oh ashley we love you :) please note this is in jest so health warning issued .Before someone has a hissy fit but some of you argue amongst yourselves with threatning behaviour for nothing.Were all on the same side yet some want to have fights or are downright nasty just because people dont agree with you.Now put yourself in ashleys shoes and think how he may feel about us.Blimey if some kept calling some of you names you would be done for murder :)
    For the record I dislike both the owner and the manager,oh and 23 who will get another contract for 1 year.

  • 48 jesperfuglsang - captain of the lemon crew // Apr 9, 2014 at 12:12 PM

    If any of you find yourself in a job where you are a so called “expect” then you might find this funny:

    *I can do anything ’cause I am an expert! lol

  • 49 stuart no9 // Apr 9, 2014 at 12:12 PM

    since pardew took over 3 years ago , he has developed a team / squad that cant win a game , cant score a goal , leaks goals by the bucket load, and struggles to even win a point , if one player is missing from the team ?. i am no manager nor are any of people who come on to this blog, but given the players he has at hand , who thinks they could have done better than pardew these last few months ? i do and im sure lots of fans on this blog could have done better. i am being serious , we could have done better. disgraceful.

  • 50 the truth will out // Apr 9, 2014 at 12:16 PM

    just sack him and get a manager in who is savvy

  • 51 the truth will out // Apr 9, 2014 at 12:17 PM

    the tea lady is a better tactician and man manager than pardump

  • 52 Black and White with an army lol // Apr 9, 2014 at 12:17 PM

    stuart no9

    I’m a manager and I know I’m 12 times better than Pardew in every aspect of football.

    maybe MA could hire me since it won’t cost him anything

  • 53 Black and White with an army lol // Apr 9, 2014 at 12:19 PM

    Pardew isn’t a manager nor a coach, which gets me how on earth did he ever become a manager/coach is beyond me

  • 54 the truth will out // Apr 9, 2014 at 12:21 PM

    did he get his pro licence through grandfather rights hahah

  • 55 Black and White with an army lol // Apr 9, 2014 at 12:24 PM

    the truth will out

    I honestly think Pardew paid his way to become a manager to the FA many many many years ago when this sort of thing happened

  • 56 the truth will out // Apr 9, 2014 at 12:27 PM

    top and bottom he is not very good even with constraints he should be moved on everyone should see that
    ashley can bring who the hell he likes if a new incumbent arrives and is crap ashley will soon see the shit hit the fan

  • 57 Black and White with an army lol // Apr 9, 2014 at 12:35 PM

    even for the pathetic fans that still attend the home games why don’t you’s chant Pardew out??????????

    guess we know where your loyalty stands!

  • 58 Black and White with an army lol // Apr 9, 2014 at 12:36 PM

    like the old saying

    “you can’t be heard if you don’t speak out loud”

  • 59 martoon // Apr 9, 2014 at 12:38 PM

    Rotonda @27 – The reasons for our 16th place finish have been discussed to death – You know fine well I was referring to our recent run of bad form.

  • 60 martoon // Apr 9, 2014 at 12:41 PM

    Black and White with an army lol – I guess yesterday’s discussion about name calling fans who still attend matches and support the team went right over your head!!!

  • 61 Black and White with an army lol // Apr 9, 2014 at 12:41 PM

    we can only hope we finish 11th and if Pardew still isn’t gone by then there will be a uproar coming end of season

  • 62 Black and White with an army lol // Apr 9, 2014 at 12:44 PM


    nope I’m still with it, but since they won’t do out else they may as well try and force Pardew out.

    they are stupid enough to fill MA pockets but they probably also want Pardew out of the club as much as we do.

  • 63 Rotonda heights // Apr 9, 2014 at 12:44 PM

    i’ve never wanted to finish 11th before so badly !!

  • 64 Rotonda heights // Apr 9, 2014 at 12:46 PM


    how many runs of bad form do you want under one manager? He’s broken that many records by now!

  • 65 Black and White with an army lol // Apr 9, 2014 at 12:47 PM

    Rotonda heights

    same here mate, I only hope Stoke go above us at the end of the season same with WHU & Hull.

    these 3 have a lot to fight for whilst we don’t, these 3 have more ambition whilst we lack it all

  • 66 Black and White with an army lol // Apr 9, 2014 at 12:51 PM

    Pardew alone has broken more records than every single manager that has been at Newcastle, doesn’t this tell you something!

  • 67 the truth will out // Apr 9, 2014 at 12:57 PM

    he will get it right but sadly not in his lifetime

  • 68 Rotonda heights // Apr 9, 2014 at 12:59 PM

    Stuart at 49

    My under 10′s aren’t world beaters but they go out to win every game and score goals. I’d like to think we generally get our team selection, tactics and subs correct.

    Most importantly I ‘d like to think that myself and my lovely assistant Karin have a plan B, C and D !!!

  • 69 Rotonda heights // Apr 9, 2014 at 1:07 PM


    i also think a lot of the stellar players like Debuchy etc wouldn’t be linked with moves away if they had any kind of faith in the manager.

    Pardew had a real opportunity with this squad. Sissoko once rated at 22M, M’Biwa at 13.5M, Remy at 20M+ etc etc .

    Martinez is chasing a CL place and had Lukaku out for 2 months. Did his players stop playing back in Jan. Hell no!

  • 70 Ciaran // Apr 9, 2014 at 1:10 PM

    Surely there aren’t people defending Pardew? Not only for his complicity in the crimes of Mike Ashley, but he is a god awful coach too.

    However, no matter how much pressure we as fans put on Ashley to sack Pardew, he won’t do it. It’s a moot point and we need to come to terms with it.

    Pardew is doing a sterling job as far as Ashley is concerned, and he’ll be delighted that Newcastle United are inching ever closer to 11th spot so he won’t have to pay out bonuses that a top 10 finish entails.

    We can debate new coaches who can do more with these players, and we can repeat to a finite degree what is wrong with Alan Pardew but the reality is that as long as Ashley is here, so too is Alan Pardew.

  • 71 Rotonda heights // Apr 9, 2014 at 1:10 PM


    aren’t you confusing hoddle with graham ”turnip” Taylor ?

  • 72 Ciaran // Apr 9, 2014 at 1:11 PM

    Also if our players are looking to leave it will have more to do with the lack of ambition being shown above Pardew’s head as opposed to the ineptitude of his management – thought that will play some role of course.

  • 73 Ciaran // Apr 9, 2014 at 1:13 PM


  • 74 jesperfuglsang - captain of the lemon crew // Apr 9, 2014 at 1:15 PM

    RH… haha :D

    …I don’t think so, but like I said Hoddle as a coach treated mavericks the same way as he was treated.

    …well that is how I remember him…and that he has something against disable people (or was he just in a cult or something? ;) )

  • 75 Munster Mag // Apr 9, 2014 at 1:19 PM

    Rotunda, I said at the time that the Routledge sales for Obertan was a mistake and was shouted down. It just goes to show that lots of people on this site know stuff all about football. Whats the story with the Spanish “Bull” ? Is he injured at Liverpool these days. Loved his as a full back – one of the best left full backs we have had in years and years. Unpassable on his day, with his speed and big arse! Credit to Fat Sam for that signing.

  • 76 Munster Mag // Apr 9, 2014 at 1:20 PM

    Rotunda, in fairness, who rated Sissoko at 22m ?

  • 77 stuart no9 // Apr 9, 2014 at 1:27 PM

    it is obvious to every one , there is a reason why ashley wont sack or cant sack pardew. Everyone has a theory as to why , it is certainly not because he thinks he can turn it around , because he cant.
    It is freightening to think no matter how bad a manager he is or how bad the situation gets , he will always be manager . In my life time of watching football at SJP or anywhere else for that matter with any team , i have never came across a situation like this before – this is a unique scenario where an owner and manager work together for themselves and not for the club or fans. They are working together to line their own pockets , to hell with the club , team , position , fans . this is about them making a fortune . fans who still go are supporting them . shame on you all .

  • 78 Rotonda heights // Apr 9, 2014 at 1:36 PM

    stuart @ 77

    I don’t think the penny will ever drop with these people

  • 79 Rotonda heights // Apr 9, 2014 at 1:38 PM


    i read it in few places. i am not the original source!

  • 80 Rotonda heights // Apr 9, 2014 at 1:45 PM


    As you say I think this is unprecedented where the immovable object meets the irresistable force.

    The Special one
    The Chosen one
    The Unsackable one (no matter what!)

  • 81 70TWO // Apr 9, 2014 at 1:53 PM

    stuart no9

    A lot of people like you keep saying “line their own pockets”, but what are you talking about specifically?

  • 82 Transfer Sage // Apr 9, 2014 at 2:00 PM

    Can’t see any light at the end of the tunnel I’m afraid, seem to have an owner uninterested in progressing and manager incapable of doing so…recipe for mediocre results and dire football.

  • 83 wolfshead@toon // Apr 9, 2014 at 2:04 PM


    hoddle claimed disabled people were paying for sins commited in a past life – true story

  • 84 arpeco19 // Apr 9, 2014 at 3:33 PM

    2012/13 (all of last season) out of 38 league games, we had 13 league games of which no goals scored in 90 mins, 2 games of that, a goal scored in 90+Mins. 34% of our games we did not score a goal in 90mins. 3-0 was our biggest margin win (once), although we won ONE GAME 4-2.

    2013/14 (33 games played) 16 league games, no goals scored in 90 mins, 2 games of that a goal scored in 90+Mins. In 48% of our games we have not scored a goal in 90mins. 5-1 is our biggest win (versus 9 men), 3-0, 3-1 & 4-1 are a highlight out of 33 league games. That means 4 out of 33 games (12%) have been ok.

    **2011/12 season when we finished 5th 23.6% of the games played we didn’t score a goal in 90mins.

    2011/12 – 23.6%

    2012/13 – 34.2%

    2013/14 – 48.4%

    Imagine next season, judging by the stats we might end up not scoring a goal in 90mins in 63.1% of our league games… That’s 24 out of 38 games. We will be relegated. No doubts.


  • 85 thepict // Apr 9, 2014 at 7:59 PM

    Black and White with an army. What gives you the right to call folk who chose to go to matches matches pathetic. It is your choice to not go, It is their choice to attend. We happen to live in a democracy. What gives you the right to act as dictator?

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