If you ask Newcastle fans if Joe Kinnear had any impact at Newcastle they would say no – well at least not a positive impact.
Joe Kinnear – while Newcastle’s Director of Football for eight months
Even Mike Ashley is covering his face
But news today that the now massively rich PSG have made the decision to offer their fans their own brands of various potato snacks – and would you believe it, but out former central midfielder Yohan Cabaye is one of the stars on the packaging.
The breaking news, which is sweeping the world by all accounts, is that Paris Saint-Germain have released their own range of crisps – and they include a flavor called Yohan Kebab.
The great Yohan Kebab – while at Newcastle
Of course in Joe Kinnear’s first ever interview on talkSport in June of last year – before his appointment as Director of Football was even announced by Newcastle – he managed to famously get a number of the Newcastle players’ names (completely) wrong – and he famously referred to Yohan Cabaye as Yohan Kebab.
Well we suppose that was an improvement on his first ever press conference as the Newcastle manager back in September of 2008, when he managed to use the F word 53 times, as he lay into Simon Bird, the Mirror football columnist.
Joe’s mispronunciation of names should not have come as too much of a surprise, because when he was Newcastle manager back in January of 2009 he called Charles N’Zogbia – Charles N’Somnia – and the French winger didn’t even have bags under his eyes. 😀
Charles left the club for Wigan before the end of that January – but it was just a coincidence…….
So it just goes to show you that Joe did in fact have an impact at Newcastle, and PSG are showing they also have a sense of humor.
Comments welcome.
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93 comments so far
Slank
Sep 5, 2014 at 9:15 AM
Comment #1Coming back to the injury to De Jong.
All managers select players who are not fully fit. Sir Bobby did it and so did Keegan. It would appear that all England managers do it too.
Toon Tang
Sep 5, 2014 at 9:20 AM
Comment #2JFK had an impact in the clubs kitchens more like, followed closely by fecal impaction due to overindulgence…
Slank
Sep 5, 2014 at 9:21 AM
Comment #3* England managers do it far too often
Laurent Robert 32
Sep 5, 2014 at 9:22 AM
Comment #4Get out, Alan. A storm is coming…
Rotonda heights
Sep 5, 2014 at 9:23 AM
Comment #5so colback and now SDJ. hmmm…. and so it begins
Slank
Sep 5, 2014 at 9:23 AM
Comment #6At least he had an impact.
What is worse is employing someone who makes no impact.
When someone makes a poor impact at least something is learnt, or should be to not let it happen again.
Shaker Shakrah
Sep 5, 2014 at 9:24 AM
Comment #7I dont want to read this & I don’t want to see
the ” Proof ” !!
LewSpi v2.0
Sep 5, 2014 at 9:25 AM
Comment #8Gentlemen, how are we all?
Firstly; I haven’t posted on the blog for years now and it’s good to note there seems to be less trolls kicking around the comments, so kudos to Ed if that is his doing. Secondly, I’d quickly like to thank Ed for the blog, and I hope your health is keeping in good stead.
I generally don’t like long comments but I haven’t posted for a while so here goes.
THE OWNER
I think(hope) that Fat Mike’s grand plan is now glaringly obvious to everybody, regarding Rangers FC. The Scottish league is where he will get his exposure for his beloved Sports Direct, the Scottish league is much easier and cheaper to dominate than the Premier League, plus he gets the added benefit of European exposure for his sports brand once they’re reinstated back into European competition. Furthermore it was revealed yesterday that 2 years ago he bought the naming rights for the Ibrox for just £1. Astute. Rangers are currently in the Scottish Championship and Fat Mike has a share percentage of around 4.6% in the club, he’s restricted to less than 10% by the Scottish FA due to his interest in Newcastle United. Which brings me nicely onto my main point, hopefully this summer coming might see a revolution at Newcastle United, coinciding, unfortunately, with a devolution at Rangers FC, but balls to them, we’ve done our time in purgatory. Next summer would be the best time for Ashley to make the change over, before Rangers capital rises too high, next summer (providing Rangers get promoted of course) would represent the equilibrium between risk/profit/exposure/cost for Ashley at Rangers. So here’s to hoping.
Now, on to more things Newcastle…
TRANSFERS
Regarding the transfer window, I think we did alright, in areas. We signed some genuinely good players; Janmaat and Colback showing through so far but given time I’m sure the others will earn their merit.
The problem comes when you look at what we’ve spent and the situation we now find ourselves in. As Ed pointed out a couple of days ago, we had a ‘net spend’ of around £2mil, this is only accounting for the sale of Cabaye, Debuchy and a couple of loan fees. Now, I’m not an accountant, but I know we received around £80mil in TV money this year, we’ll have received prize money for finishing position in the premier league last year, and at an average of £15 per ticket for 18 games a season, I know we receive around £14mil+ in gate receipts each year. So where’s our CB which we desperately need Mike?
The fact we still have the same three CB’s which we got promoted from the championship with 5 years ago says it all for me. Bringing the likes of Toby Alderweireld or Virgil Van Dijk in on the last day of the market, just to soften the blow of Benny, would have left a much less bitter taste in the mouth of every single Geordie out there, I know that for a fact.
HOWEVER, we have a young squad, a squad with promise and a squad which given the right manager could certainly go places (imo)…
THE MANAGER
If it hadn’t been for Keegan’s comment regarding the pressures which Pardew could be under, I’d have no regard for Parsnip whatsoever, however KK did make that comment so I do have a little sympathy for Pards.
Despite this, it must be Pardews time to leave, SURELY? He seems to just have no idea of tactics, there is no definitive playing style, it’s as if he just throws the players out there in a formation of sorts; often in the wrong positions within that formation, and says get on with it. He’ll then make the odd sub around 60-70 minutes to show he’s trying to mix it up and so that in his post-match presser he can say ‘errrr you know we ‘ad a real go today but errrr you know its just not going arr way’ and thats about it.
Pardew reminds me of an old-fashioned school chef.
An old-fashioned school chef that has been given all the tools that Heston Blumenthal would use to make Liquid Nitrogen Ice Cream and he’s just stood throwing it at a pan, repeatedly.
I was a big supporter of Pardew for a long time, but you think his time must be coming, and with the news of De Jong’s injury and with 4 tough games coming up, well, we all saw how well we faired without our key player post-January.
HIS REPLACEMENT
When you look at the immediate crowd we want to mix with in the Premiership you look at the likes of Tottenham or Everton, teams who no matter what, you know they’re gonna be in the middle of the top half, around 5th/6th or 7th, you never think of Spurs and think ‘ooo they could be in trouble this season’.
Now, when you look at the managers which these teams have (Martinez, Poccetino) they’re young, they’re foreign but there are a couple of crucial beneficiaries of these managers.
1. They come with their own philosophy, their own idea of how the game should be played
2. They can adapt this philosophy to any squad they inherit
3. They’re very good at bringing through youth players
This is the kind of manager that Newcastle United must look to. The likes of Andre Villas Boas (Sir Bobby’s apprentice), Michael Laudrup, Roberto Di Matteo, or maybe even Rene Meulensteene (who I think is fantastic). These managers are relatively fresh to the Premiership but at the same time, in general, they’re also very experienced, they bring with them their own ideas, they bring with them a continental style of play and I think it’s these types of managers who can get our current crop of continental players to play the football which they’ve all proven they can.
In summary, I feel we do have a decent squad, and with a different presence in the dugout the squad would be much better equipped to reach it’s potential. The signings we made were unfortunately replacements as appose to additions, and its these additions which are crucial to advancing. We’ve hit a bit of a glass ceiling, a glass ceiling which many, including myself, would argue it’s our owner that has installed.
I know which Scottish team I’ll be supporting this year.
Wow, that did turn in to quite a long post, apologies for that.
GatesheadMag
Sep 5, 2014 at 9:25 AM
Comment #9Im sure joe will have time to right his wrongs when he gets another shot at managing the toon. Look over your shoulder alan
Rotonda heights
Sep 5, 2014 at 9:25 AM
Comment #10slank
kk and sbr had a hell of a lot of other good things going for them but that didn’t make it right.
However, AP is bankcrupt on all fronts.
Markaccus
Sep 5, 2014 at 9:25 AM
Comment #11We should have our own flavour of crisps at nufc…..
“The bitter taste of defeat”
Slank
Sep 5, 2014 at 9:28 AM
Comment #12Rotonda,
I wanted to say it is in nature of a physical game that players sustain injuries but neither Colback and De Jong were injured in a games as far as I can tell. And Colback didn’t get his injury whilst at the club.
I hope that there absence opens up opportunities for others.
GatesheadMag
Sep 5, 2014 at 9:32 AM
Comment #13Lewspi 2.0 –
I too read the forum most days and very rarely comment but i can i just say…. that one line absolutely genius!!! Balls to them!
Greebol1892
Sep 5, 2014 at 9:35 AM
Comment #14New signings are ALWAYS injured very soon after joining us. Check it out. It ALWAYS happens.
WHY?
Markaccus
Sep 5, 2014 at 9:38 AM
Comment #15Lew
Pretty much my sentiments on Pardew. I gave him time, probably.too much. He can’t attack. Its boring and its costing us too many points.
LewSpi v2.0
Sep 5, 2014 at 9:41 AM
Comment #16Haha GatesheadMag
It’s nice to see someone took the time to read my ramblings. Took me two strong coffee’s to get it all written down. That’s my quota done for a other year or two I think.
BuckLuck
Sep 5, 2014 at 9:45 AM
Comment #17It’s early september and I’m already looking forward to next season. That’s a new record for me personally.
What a joy it is to be entertained by Pardew.
beermonkey
Sep 5, 2014 at 9:47 AM
Comment #18so dejong is out for 4 mnth that’s all the excuse pards needs
we all know and can see with pards billing dejong as the link between striker and mid that he has no plan b
poor riviere will be come more isolated
the defence will leak’
if he sticks with the 4231 I cant see us winning a game
if Aarons does keep progressing how long will we have have him and whats the minimum bid it will take
are we ever gonna get any good news
Mag52
Sep 5, 2014 at 9:47 AM
Comment #19Lew
Long post but quality. glad you’re back.
He’s got his faults has Pardew, but to blame him for what, from all accounts, was an injury incurred in training, is stretching it a bit don’t you think.
Next thing we know he’ll cop flack if anyone goes down with a dose of ‘flu.
Slank
Sep 5, 2014 at 9:48 AM
Comment #20LewSpi v2.0
These managers you quote have hardly set the Premiership alight.
Andre Villas Boas was sacked twice (Chelsea and Spurs)
Michael Laudrup was sacked by Swansea
Roberto Di Matteo sacked by WBA and Chelsea
Rene Meulensteene sacked by Fulham
OK, being sacked by Chelsea is probably a badge of honour and no disgrace.
Laudrup seems a very iffy person. His CV says it all.
Rene Meulensteene is a good coach but not a manager. He was hard done to by Moyes whose decision backfired on him by employing all the old ‘united young ones’ as coaches.
Roberto Di Matteo would look the likely one.
GatesheadMag
Sep 5, 2014 at 9:49 AM
Comment #21No more needs said lew, youve left a legacy there. Ive just gave my season ticket up after 7year. I cant take anymore of Ashley/pardew circus, football is horrendous. I love watching motd just to hear pardews take on the game, i could swear were watching the same match but he describes a different 1 afterwards.
I feel appointing a new manager is just going to paper over the cracks, we need a new owner with ambition.
I would actually be suprised is pardew got sacked, which other manager is going to be happy only bring allowed to finish mid table, and no cup runs
lochinvar
Sep 5, 2014 at 9:51 AM
Comment #22Sad news that it sounds like the Phileas Fogg factory in Consett is under threat of closure. According to owners KP this is ” after many years of working hard to try and grow our Consett volume and despite the growth of Phileas Fogg the under utilisation of the site has created an unattainable situation” .
Substitute AP for KP and it all sound familiar babble.
That apart if Johan Kebab crisps are on their way at PSG why not some local versions that would boost sales and help save the factory in Consett. You could have “Gazza’s nuts” and borrowing some ideas from Walkers “Potatao Heids” , “French Fries”, “HBA Beefys ” and bring back ” John Tudors”. “Tayto” becomes ‘Tioteis” , “Sunbites” becomes “Suaraez bites” . Ultimately ” Marmite” flavour could become “Marmmike” – the love him or hate him flavour.
Amy more ideas lads ?
Average_Contents
Sep 5, 2014 at 9:52 AM
Comment #23Lewspi
Just a few issues with your post mate.
Fatty cannot advertise SD in Europe be it champions league or europa because it’s only their sponsors that get coverage so basically like we had too, it would all be covered up.
On the parsnip issue. My feeling is that he’s fully complicit in what goes on at SJP because surely any human being with an ounce of self respect would not allow him/herself to get shafted so severely on a weekly/monthly/yearly basis.
So no he doesn’t deserve the slightest bit of sympathy or the slightest bit of understanding of his situation because it’s all of his own making. Obviously this is my take on the situation but the feeling is growing within the fan base that he simply isn’t good enough and deserves what he gets which again I hope is abuse he can never recover from or worm his way out of.
The rest of your post was spot on though mate lol 😀
WLtoon
Sep 5, 2014 at 9:52 AM
Comment #24@8
very good post and i agree with most of it apart from mentioning Muelensteene as being fantasticDid,nt he have a little stint a prem lge club last season and done nothing to keep them up.?
Knowing Ashley ,i bet he would consider Kinnear a sP45Due,s replacement.
OMG,imagine that.
Markaccus
Sep 5, 2014 at 9:53 AM
Comment #25Surely EVEN Pardew knows we can’t play 4231 without a proper no.10?
Will this force him into a 433? Or this strange new fashionable formation 442 😀
cyprus
Sep 5, 2014 at 9:56 AM
Comment #26Something tells me he ain’t laughing at the kebab thing if it’s true. His footballing career has slid too, two silly tackles (remember them?), equal one red card. Hardly ever plays. Sorry for the fans, but he isn’t the type of MF who will dominate, never really did.
Now, on the other hand, Ronaldinho, IF he’s not seriously overweight, IF he still gives a sxxx, I would love to see him in an NUFC shirt. Would love it. He’d seriously make a difference IF…
Slank
Sep 5, 2014 at 9:59 AM
Comment #27Markaccus @ 25
Could Cabella be a proper No 10 ?
I feel he is wasted on the wing. He doesn’t have that electric pace that Aarons has and Ben Arfa had or the muscle that Sissoko has to get him past the defender.
Cabella appears as a tricky, clever player who can keep the ball and make space for others.
Slank
Sep 5, 2014 at 10:01 AM
Comment #28Markaccus @ 25
Having thought about it again is Armstrong or Abeid suitable for a No 10 ?
Abeid seems to have come on leaps and bounds. In the league cup game he was everywhere and totally overshadowed Sissoko.
beermonkey
Sep 5, 2014 at 10:02 AM
Comment #29mag52
its not pards or any managers fault really when injuries occur but in the games we have played our striker is isolated he claims dejong is the link he hasn’t changed anything so far while he has been out and this is his fault he needs to change things
I dont have the confidence he will and in 3 months he will be saying its been difficult period without dejong but he is nearly back
Markaccus
Sep 5, 2014 at 10:05 AM
Comment #30Slank
Those players probably could play as the no.10. However i am hoping not, because rivvy is isolated. I really wish we would drop the 4231. I works well for big clubs with players who are free to attack. But it stinks when a club like nufc try it. It isn’t working at all for us.
beermonkey
Sep 5, 2014 at 10:08 AM
Comment #31slank
Armstrong plas no10 for England and that’s the only time I have seen him play have to say some of there play was great pards could learn
I thought about Armstrong but I would rather abied at the moment and Armstrong coming of the bench
for game time he deserves it he is flying at the moment
cabella can play the no10 role as well think with the personel available at the moment were better suited to 433 riviere and cabella out wide and chucky through the middle, riviere not done a lot wrong he been getting into good position put him wide and as I believe he has scored most his goals from there he aint no lone atriker that’s for sure
pawl250
Sep 5, 2014 at 10:12 AM
Comment #32Why are people blaming Pardew because of SDJ getting injured?
He has well known for injuries, I mean he spent most of last season injured. Hardly Pardews fault, I think sometimes people will say anything to blame him for any negative….
We sign a good player, its Graham Carr, a bad one its Pardew….. people are pathetic. Why make it all up? Am not saying Pardew signed good or bad players but every manager signs bad players, even Mourinho and Fergie….
De Jong getting injured is a massive blow, but hardly Pardews fault. I do not remember seeing any line ups without De Jong before the Palace game, and if he did not start and we lost he would have got the blame then aswell. Bottom line though, not EVERY negative thing is because of Pardew…..
Team for next week no doubt has picked itself…. Colback is supposed to be fit for the England game on Monday to quote Woy ….”the game was probably a day early for Colback to make it” Suggests he is actually fit to play today had the game been today….
———————– Krul
Janmaat – Williamson – Coloccini – Haidara
—————– Anita – Colback
Sissoko ——— Cabella ———- Gouffran
——————— Ferryra
Subs – Elliot, STaylor, Abeid, Obertan, Aarons, Riviere, Perez
Aarons should not start because he had a decent cameo against Palace. He has potential but lets not get carried away, he has not made it yet. And when he came on against City he looked way out of his depth…..
Cannot expect the kid to become the world beater many play out on here in the space of a few weeks. Give him time and bring him into the fold properly, carefully and ensure he does not become like so many youth these days, becoming too rich, too young.
Hes a kid with potential, he has not made it yet. He still has alot to do, for me he is an impact player right now until we see a few more games where he looks like a starting player.
Some on here would have you believe he is our best player, despite most people not even knowing who he was until pre season….. unproven, with potential.
Average_Contents
Sep 5, 2014 at 10:14 AM
Comment #33Just a quick question if you don’t mind folks.
What are your views on rob lee? Obviously he was a cracking player but I mean when it comes to his views on all things us? Obviously some ex-pros and pundits who never played or have no association with us have a lot to say regarding NUFC
Ancientcoptic
Sep 5, 2014 at 10:14 AM
Comment #34“Slank // Sep 5, 2014 at 9:48 AM
LewSpi v2.0
These managers you quote have hardly set the Premiership alight.
Andre Villas Boas was sacked twice (Chelsea and Spurs)
Michael Laudrup was sacked by Swansea
Roberto Di Matteo sacked by WBA and Chelsea
Rene Meulensteene sacked by Fulham”
AVB was not given enough time at Chelsea IMO, he also had a better win record at Spurs than the previous 10 managers, probably a lot more if you dig deeper back. AVB got Spurs to 5th with more points than Harry got Spurs to 4th. AVB did quite well, after having so many players forced upon him, that he clearly did not want. He also showed a very dignified manner, always protecting his players and the club in press conferences.
Muelensteen was reportedly running the show at Man Utd, we have all seen what has happened since he and Phelan left the club. Muelensteen was also unfairly sacked by Fulham.
I cannot argue with Laudrup, he had a similar record to what Pardew has now when he was let go. Swansea were in relegation form over the previous 20+ games… exactly where we are now.
Di Matteo did well to get WBA promoted, that is where it ended for him. Parking the bus with Chelsea to win the Champions League is an accomplishment I guess… it looked more like pathetic football coupled with a A LOT of luck.
Not all managers that get sacked deserve to be sacked, nor is it an indication that they are not good enough for Newcastle.
Average_Contents
Sep 5, 2014 at 10:16 AM
Comment #35Pawl
Wrong, The ginger one is back with us now as the initial assessment by “woy” was wrong….please keep up!
Slank
Sep 5, 2014 at 10:17 AM
Comment #36Markaccus
The problem with the 4-2-3-1 formation I feel is not the formation itself but the inadequate way it is being implemented in that the other players have not always been quick enough to support Riviere. This is probably because not enough time has been available on the training ground.
An alternative to 4-3-2-1 could be the old 4-4-2 sacrificing midfield to bolster the forward line. At home this is probably a better option than away. Either Ferreyra or Armstrong play alongside Riviere with Aarons and Cabella on the wings.
Transfer Sage
Sep 5, 2014 at 10:21 AM
Comment #37Pawl
Siem isn’t know for injuries. Last year he had a small groin problem but most of his time out was due to a collapsed lung (a freak ocurance).
Other than that the lad has hardly suffered from injuries.
I don’t blame pardew like some though, it’s just back luck…although we do suffer a very high amount of injuries here (even before pardew)…there must be some problem.
JackButler
Sep 5, 2014 at 10:21 AM
Comment #38On the SDJ injury, we all know that Pardew’s answer will be to pack the centre with three holding midfielders while Cabella wastes away out wide
scitoon
Sep 5, 2014 at 10:21 AM
Comment #39Did anyone else notice how little of the ball SDJ had against Palace? I missed the 1st 5mins and so didn’t see the starting lineup and not once did the commentator say De Jong p- not until almost half time. Once i saw he was there i kept an eye out and he looked really short of match fitness. Not surprised to hear he has done his ham in now.
If he goes for a 4-2-3-1 then im looking forward to seeing Cabella as no.10 with Goofy on the right and Aarons on the left. Socks and Anita in the centre. Rest of the team picks itself. Hopefully Abeid on the bench to come on for Socks.
Transfer Sage
Sep 5, 2014 at 10:23 AM
Comment #40Slank
I agree with you, it’s how we implement any formation. We don’t sem to function as a team in attack or defence so rely on pot shots and our keeper too often to keep us in/win games.
For me any formation doesn’t work with pardew, he just can’t organise a team.