Newcastle Just Cannot Survive With Such A Small Squad

Interim head coach John Carver says he now has only thirteen senior outfield players available for the game against Arsenal on Saturday – and yet it was the same person who agreed with Lee Charnley that we didn’t need any new players brought in during the  January transfer window.

john carver with finger raised

John Carver – Newcastle interim head coach

In fact, when each January transfer window comes along, we shudder to see how Newcastle will sell or loan out their players to weaken the squad for money – but they only do that when they think we are safe from relegation – as in the last two January windows.

But when we are in a struggle with relegation we bring in five players – four of them in one week – which is what we did two years ago, so the club spends the money but only if our Premier League survival is at stake.

What a terrible way to run a football club – and our sole ambition seems to be to stay in the Premier League to collect the big bucks every May.

This is some of what John Carver said at his press conference today:

“I only have 13 fit senior players, plus two goalkeepers, for Saturday’s game.” “Saturday is not the environment for young lads, especially against an in-form Arsenal side. It’s not the right time for them.”

“I’ve had big challenges in the past and this is one of the biggest. It’s my job to prepare the team to bounce back from Everton.” “We are a small group and it’s a difficult time, but the only way you get through it is by sticking together and smiling.”

“Arsenal are a good footballing side who like to play, so we have to be patient. But we have one or two things up our sleeve.”

“Siem de Jong went outside for the first time today and did a little work-out, and that was nice to see.”

So we have no players back from injury which means Massadio Haidara is still not available to play at left back, and Rolando Aarons is taking a long time to come back from that hamstring injury of his, and has still only played five times for us this season.

We assume Ryan Taylor will move over to right back, as Janmaat moves into central defense in place of the suspended Coloccini, and we suppose either Jonas or Vurnon Anita will come in at left back – maybe Jonas,  but Arsenal have some good strong wingers – and that could be a weakness for us on Saturday.

But John says we have things up our sleeve – so we shouldn’t really be too worried.

That’s right isn’t it?

The last thing we need is another pounding like we  have had in our last two away games at Manchester City and Everton where we lost bn a joint score of 8-0.

Maybe what we are missing is a real football person in a Director of Football role,  who has experience in running a football club – but Lee Charnley has said there are no plans to go back to a Director of Football, after the debacle with Joe Kinnear.

We just hope we don’t suffer another bad defeat on Saturday.

How Will Newcastle Fare Against Arsenal?

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109 comments so far

  • thejokethatisnufc

    Mar 19, 2015 at 2:39 PM

    Comment #1

    i have no sympathy

  • Lindisfarne

    Mar 19, 2015 at 2:41 PM

    Comment #2


    A massive profit would be a validation that the club have not been investing enough into the team, however whilst this is true it also means there is still potential to replace with quality. The issue of the debt is another possibility and if any part of it has been paid off, which would make the club more attractive to a potential buyer.

  • Jeff from Benwell

    Mar 19, 2015 at 2:43 PM

    Comment #3

    Actually only a dozen fit
    Obertan is not a footballer

  • Lindisfarne

    Mar 19, 2015 at 2:43 PM

    Comment #4

    13 Senior players that are capable of reaching the CL places I remember him saying.

  • one fine day

    Mar 19, 2015 at 2:44 PM

    Comment #5

    repost from previous

    one fine day // Mar 19, 2015 at 2:41 PM

    I can see the next offer from Newcastle direct … buy two of our minty puma kits before march 30th and you can go into the draw to actually play for Newcastle united in an actual premier league game… oh yes a real once in a lifetime experience .
    Runners up get to do the half time team talk
    **note current employees are not able to enter

    Who says this club doesn’t care?

  • sweendog

    Mar 19, 2015 at 2:47 PM

    Comment #6

    Massive thing for us, if we stay up, is how soon the new manager is announced.
    If its not announced before the end of the season expect Charver to be in charge and a useless season to follow.

  • Toon Tang

    Mar 19, 2015 at 2:48 PM

    Comment #7

    Alright, who are the 30 jokers… make yourselves known immediately.

  • Our Toon

    Mar 19, 2015 at 2:49 PM

    Comment #8

    Wasn’t long ago he was saying he didn’t mind the likes of Santon etc going, he doesn’t get involved in that side of things, he just wants to concentrate on the players here rathe than the ones that aren’t.

    It’s amazing how someone’s words can come back to haunt them, especially when this moron carver was only saying things to pander to MA and LC!! 13 players fit… with it then!!

  • Our Toon

    Mar 19, 2015 at 2:51 PM

    Comment #9


    I think Carver has let the cat out of the bag mate, he said he’s been involved in talks about new players for next season. He’ll only be involved in them talks if he truly is staying!!

  • usmagpie

    Mar 19, 2015 at 2:52 PM

    Comment #10

    Lets make it totally clear, we are screwed royally. We will never be anything than a team that crosses its fingers and hopes we stay in the premiership. I personally want us relegated to hurt that Fat piece of #$@# financially. Lets go down a few divisions so he has to sell the club and then hopefully we can get an owner that actually gives a #$@$ about the town fans and history of Newcastle Untied.

  • Lindisfarne

    Mar 19, 2015 at 2:53 PM

    Comment #11

    The interim head coach has been pardewed.

  • firebug666

    Mar 19, 2015 at 2:54 PM

    Comment #12

    So if we all stick together and keep smiling we will get through it. Wow! Arsenal had better look out then. Cos if we smile at them they will be in big trouble.

    And that’s apart from the couple of things he has up his sleeve.

    Suggestion, Can anyone guess what Carver has up his sleeve? Besides his arms.

  • Ibizatoon

    Mar 19, 2015 at 2:56 PM

    Comment #13

    They let Siem go outside? Bit risky that like, I hope he doesn’t take a turn for the worse.

    John…We know we have few players left, we all saw it coming, you remember, when you were busy telling us how we’re okay and you’ll just do what you’ve got to do, to get us as high up that table as possible.

    I don’t blame you, but you wont be getting any sympathy. Don’t pander to Ashley and Penfold and you wont have the fans on your back (so much).

    They want a target and you’ve allowed yourself to become it.

  • lochinvar

    Mar 19, 2015 at 2:57 PM

    Comment #14

    So Carver has started using cringe worthy comments such as “bounce back” from the defeat at Everton. It’s so pathetically predictable and repeated verbatim from TV interviews he’s watched with other Managers. Might as well be a Darts commentator.
    We so need an intelligent, forthright and experienced Manager together with a Head Coach who both command player respect and lead from the front. In the words of the kids rhyme,
    Simple Ashley met a pieman going to the match
    Said simple Ashley to the pieman ” I’ve got all the cash “

  • lochinvar

    Mar 19, 2015 at 3:04 PM

    Comment #15

    Liverpool’s new stadium build underway and they will end up with an impressive new Anfield as an iconic ground for their City and supporters after £250m plus investment.
    We have the supporters and stadium at the heart of the toon – will the new Buildings on the Gallowgate end Metro car park prevent the extension to that end of the ground ever happening to increase capacity to near 60,000. ? That would be a sign of ambition along with rebuilding of the team but under Mash it ain’t going to happen .

  • Toon Tang

    Mar 19, 2015 at 3:14 PM

    Comment #16

    Speech scrawled by Pardew’s ghost writers ghostwriter. Past statements get cut into pieces and literally stuck back together again in whatever order for next press conference.

    Regurgitated words form tainted verses which in turn are served from the mouth of the beast. There are still a few that walk among us listening to this hand-me-down x hand babel.

  • Lindisfarne

    Mar 19, 2015 at 3:14 PM

    Comment #17


    Up JCs’ sleeve is a devise that allegedly provides more power to his elbow, he bought it from the Clairvoyant he uses to contact SBR, who is an astounding inventor on the side.

    When JC says there will be investment in the team he means that places will be sold to individuals who are rich enough to buy a position. Those who invest will actually be in the squad, another astounding idea channeled from SBR via the Clairvoyent Inventor, who coaches soft ball and is a part time projectionist.

  • Lindisfarne

    Mar 19, 2015 at 3:28 PM

    Comment #18

    So the team, has no Haidara, who should play left back between:
    Colback / R.Taylor / Gutierrez / Anita

    Presuming Janmaat is put in central defense, who should play right back between:
    R. Taylor / Gutierrez / Anita

    Presuming Sissoko plays in midfield and the formation stays with 442, who should be play in the middle between:
    Colback / Anita / R.Taylor / Gutierrez

    Or more simply, who should NOT play between:
    Anita / R.Taylor / Gutierrez

  • Average_Contents

    Mar 19, 2015 at 3:29 PM

    Comment #19


    Can I have a guess what’s up his sleeve.

    Pies. All varieties.

    Imagine wengers face when johnny boy offers him a brown ale and steak and kidney pie in his office after the game.

    Scratch that as it’ll most probably be Steve bold who he’ll invite, somone his level.

    As some someone else pointed out – why is he babbling about he’s involved with players now yet when the window was open “nothing to do with me” “I’m not iinterested” it’s come back to bite him on the fcuking arse the brown nose twat.

    Mike and Lee acknowledged we are short at the moment. No fcuking shit but weren’t you happy not so long ago john?

    Much like his ex boss he’s a first class bullshitter willing to go to any lengths to keep his job. Even if it means lying to the fan’s of the club he loves. Fcuking shameful.

    Who was the poster who sees him in the pub? Can you do me a massive favour and pass on the message that I think he’s a waste of spunk? Many thanks.

  • firebug666

    Mar 19, 2015 at 3:39 PM

    Comment #20


    I reckon what Carver has up his sleeves is the same as what he has in his head, sweet FA.

  • Average_Contents

    Mar 19, 2015 at 3:44 PM

    Comment #21

    Definitely got pies up their like. Probably a few pasties too.

  • Our Toon

    Mar 19, 2015 at 3:48 PM

    Comment #22


    Raylor wouldn’t be anywhere near my team

  • Ibizatoon

    Mar 19, 2015 at 3:52 PM

    Comment #23

    AC…Pies can’t be the secret weapon. Pies up Carvers sleeves is as obvious as elbows.

    There has to be more. I’m guessing a ST and a CB is too much of a stretch.

  • lesh

    Mar 19, 2015 at 3:58 PM

    Comment #24

    A lack of players isn’t the reason for poor performances under Carver – the situation has become really acute in the past three or so weeks and the pattern of results remains constant with that of the early stages of his temporary (we hope) reign – relegation form!

    I dare say you could let Carver have a full squad to pick from and results would still be crap.

    If Charnley, Carr and Ashley buy Carver’s feeble excuses, they’re either dafter than folk think or, heaven forbid, intent on appointing him HC in any event.

    I wonder if season ticket holders are in a position to hold out renewing them until Ashley’s actually appointed a credible HC and invest in the squad to substantially raise it’s quality to have 25 genuine Prem quality players in it?

    If not, fans are spending their money on a season of uncertainty. Would they pay a lot of money for a meal at a restaurant if they didn’t know what they’d be getting and its reputation was poor?

    I think not and hope they question the wisdom of buying something based on speculation and down-right lies!

  • bob52

    Mar 19, 2015 at 3:58 PM

    Comment #25

    Landisfarn get over the Pardew thing, he has gone and might just have the last laugh on guys like you. Constructive comments please.

  • MadisonToon

    Mar 19, 2015 at 4:01 PM

    Comment #26

    @18 Lindisfarne

    The one who shouldn’t play is Guti. I love the guy’s passion, but his strengths were speed and trickery and now he doesn’t have those. He gives us nothing and having a player who can run for 90 minutes will be more effective than Guti.

    I really like Raylor of late and wish he hadn’t had such difficulty with injuries in his career but that can’t be changed. Anita still hasn’t shown up as he was supposed to when he was purchased, but he’s a better fit in than Guti.

  • lesh

    Mar 19, 2015 at 4:06 PM

    Comment #27


    You liken Carver’s dialogue to that of a darts commentator.

    For what it’s worth, Sid Waddell probably the greatest of all, graduated from Cambridge with a 2.1 in Modern History.

    Had he been around to respond to your analogy, he’d probably have gone for your jugular.

    I hope he forgives my paraphrasing.

  • mindshaft

    Mar 19, 2015 at 4:10 PM

    Comment #28

    hahaha a couple of things up his sleeves – aye, that’ll be 20 Regal and a lighter

  • damma99

    Mar 19, 2015 at 4:10 PM

    Comment #29

    Everybody buy a pie and launch them at Fat twat and Penfold.

  • jesperfuglsang - capt'n awesome of the lemon crew

    Mar 19, 2015 at 4:17 PM

    Comment #30

    In many ways I hope Arsenal tears us a new one…really make us bleed (and makes both Carver and Penfold look like idiots)

    …good riddance (on a personal note I need that 😉 )


    Mar 19, 2015 at 4:20 PM

    Comment #31

    would have said no one would have done much better than jc before everton game . however as like most posters on here could not believe him picking obertan riviere and gouffran. if arsenal game isnt suitable for youngsters it certainly is not suitable for those three either.

  • jesperfuglsang - capt'n awesome of the lemon crew

    Mar 19, 2015 at 4:21 PM

    Comment #32

    lesh #24…the ST holders can’t wait to renew their tickets (and even upgrading to a better seat)

    …it’s like Christmas to some of them!

  • Ibizatoon

    Mar 19, 2015 at 4:24 PM

    Comment #33

    Proud…Surely it can be argued that as well as the youngsters not being ready for Arsenal, neither is Carver?

    Jesper…I don’t think hope will have anything to do with it. This has got to be a butt kicking waiting to happen. One of the PL’s best footballing sides against one of the worst.Can’t wait!

  • hibbit

    Mar 19, 2015 at 4:24 PM

    Comment #34

    lochinvar don’t judge a book by it’s cover to be honest that sounds a bit racist a slur on the geordie nation have you never been north of watford we all talk funny

  • lochinvar

    Mar 19, 2015 at 4:36 PM

    Comment #35

    Lesh and Hibbit
    I stand corrected !
    Happy to retract poorly worded blog, it was about the phrase nowt more.
    Was just wishing that Carver wasn’t using all the regular well worn TV phrases such as bounce back to cover the poor match performances. Would just prefer better results !
    Never lived south of the Tyne – apart from a few years in Gateshead.
    Northern soul just dulled by what’s happening at SJP.


    Mar 19, 2015 at 4:38 PM

    Comment #36

    have watched ncle since 1957 and have seen some great forwards from len white onwards however seeing riviere playing up front makes me sick, obertan and gouffran are just as bad arma and roberts deserve a game in their place no matter who we are playing imo

  • optimistic prime

    Mar 19, 2015 at 4:40 PM

    Comment #37

    Things where fine in jan though, I can’t understand how things are so bad now.
    I’d have never seen this coming, unlucky on the clubs part really.

    Oh well I’m sure we’ll win a cup and push for CL next year, all is well all hail Ashley!

  • weg

    Mar 19, 2015 at 4:45 PM

    Comment #38

    If only I had the cash:
    Buy the club, and seal the deal by giving Ashley a swift kick to the twig and berries! Tell the t**t that’s left to sling his hook before I put a bounty on his head.
    Next, clear the decks!
    OUT – Charnley, Carver, Stone, Beardsley, Woodman(snr), Rob Eliott, Coloccini, Williamson, S Taylor, R Taylor, Gutierrez, Gouffran, Obertan, Anita, Vuckic, Riveirre, Ferreyra, Ferguson.
    KEEP – Watson(lower-level coach), Krul, Woodman(jnr), Alnwick, Janmaat, Good, Streete, Satka, Dummet, Haidara, Tiote, Sissoko, Abied, Colback, Aarons, Ameobi, De Jong, Cabella, Perez, Cisse.
    RECRUIT – 1 Decent Manager with a Fresh and Forward-Thinking Coaching Team, 2 Keepers, 1Right-Back, 4 Centre-Backs, 1 Left-Back, 1 Defensive Midfielder, 1 Right Winger, 2 Strikers. (all experienced/quality)

    Just trying to stay away from the depressing parts of supporting NUFC, and dreaming of what could/should be.
    As for the Arsenal game, it should be:
    Krul, Janmaat, Williamson Satka, R Taylor, Colback, Sissoko, Abied, Ameobi(if fit) Cabella & Perez.
    I think we know Carver will likely keep in Obertan, Rivierre & Gouffran unfortunately!

  • optimistic prime

    Mar 19, 2015 at 4:45 PM

    Comment #39

    Anyone seen the cover for the match programme for the Arsenal match?

    Quite shameless from the club IMO

    Hearts and minds campaign!

  • Our Toon

    Mar 19, 2015 at 4:46 PM

    Comment #40

    Arma has had his chances this season and hasn’t looked the part at all, he just isn’t ready and won’t be ready yet. Can we please stop hyping these lads up, Obertan isn’t very good and neither is Gouffran but they are better than Arma.

    Raylor has been ripped apart in both games at full back hopefully common sense will prevail and he’s kept well clear against Sanchez etc


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