Newcastle Bottom Side In PL – 8th Bottom Of 98 Sides In Europe

We occupied rock bottom place in the Premier League form table about a year ago, after we had lost six games in a row for the first time ever in the league, and we had kind of a reason for that,  because for the first five of those defeats Newcastle had John Carver as the touchline coach, after manager Alan Pardew had picked up a seven game ban at Hull City on March 1st for head-butting a Hull player.

john carver scumpled face

John Carver – we didn’t expect him to be happy

When Alan returned to the touchline we lost at Arsenal 3-0 for our sixth loss in a row, but then we beat Cardiff 3-0 at home and lost at Liverpool 2-1 in our final two games (phew!) to end a terrible second half of the season.

Now there’s no Alan Pardew at Newcastle, and John Carver is in charge of the team now, and he has equaled the record of last year, so you cannot really say John has been impressive when he’s been the main man at Newcastle.

You can – but it wouldn’t be supported by the facts.

We have lost six in a row – four of our last six away games and four of our last six home games, and in the latest Premier League form guide over the last six games Newcastle are rock bottom.

And in all of Europe the CIES Football Observatory in Zurich have rated the form of every club in Europe’s five big leagues – England, Spain, France, Germany and Italy – over the last 10 games.

And Newcastle are near the bottom – we are the 91st worst club out of the 98 clubs rated in those five top European leagues over our last 10 games – in which we have only one win and two draws.

Well – we almost got the double.

It cannot get any worse than this.

That’s right isn’t it?


Comments welcome.

28 comments so far

  • MrMojoRisin76

    Apr 21, 2015 at 8:28 PM

    Comment #1

    No wonder Toonsy told you to f@ck off.The words monumental & tw@t spring to mind.
    Can’t we swap you for Troy?,he seems a canny lad.

  • hibbit

    Apr 21, 2015 at 8:28 PM

    Comment #2

    well thats the 3 stooges on no more sense or reason on here tonight thats me done can’t be arsed with there crap

  • scout

    Apr 21, 2015 at 8:29 PM

    Comment #3

    All aboard the JC night train stopping at desperation, fantasy, cluelessness and 5 a side.

  • thegeordieraver

    Apr 21, 2015 at 8:29 PM

    Comment #4

    Mick Quinn says the Newcastle council health and safety official has the attendance at 30,075. Way lower than what some thought.

  • thegeordieraver

    Apr 21, 2015 at 8:30 PM

    Comment #5

    Where in hudds you from blackley?

  • scout

    Apr 21, 2015 at 8:31 PM

    Comment #6

    That Jon jo shelvey will rip up our midfield,he will score Saturday if he plays. Sad thing is he should be in black and white.

  • Jail for Ashley

    Apr 21, 2015 at 8:32 PM

    Comment #7

    So basically TDSarf defected accross and bored Jeffrey and Blackley in to coming on here. Thanks a million TDSarf.
    Welsh, if your brains were dynamite there wouldn’t be enough to blow your dunce hat off !

  • Transfer Sage

    Apr 21, 2015 at 8:33 PM

    Comment #8

    I never minded TDSarf

    He was alright, might not have held the same views as me but was always open to debate an issue when I spoke with him. Can see why some were annoyed by him but overall was ok I found.

  • BandB

    Apr 21, 2015 at 8:35 PM

    Comment #9


    I would like him back too.

    I think all four of the would be great.


  • Jail for Ashley

    Apr 21, 2015 at 8:37 PM

    Comment #10

    He was ok actually, apart from him being a pompous, arrogant Tory boy and winner of the apprentice and considerabky more knowlegable than me or yoouw on business matters. He did get tge old debate going though.

  • welshgeordie9

    Apr 21, 2015 at 8:38 PM

    Comment #11


    Why don’t you change your name from jail to i love.

    Ha ha ha

    Deep down i think you do but won’t admit it in front of your friends on the here.

  • LGFUAD21

    Apr 21, 2015 at 8:38 PM

    Comment #12


    Probably one off he smartest things said re protests

    It would be very difficult logistically and I’m not sure you’d even be able to orchestrate it properly given the business side of things and it not beings able to appeared on tv.

    That said if new we could pull it off it would. E a genius move. After all isn’t that what Ashley’s owning the club is all about so if the fans can do something liken hat it would packs I a smart and funny message which would undoubtedly gain some fantastic media coverage.

  • welshgeordie9

    Apr 21, 2015 at 8:39 PM

    Comment #13

    Don’t worry BandB you have got me on here.

  • Jail for Ashley

    Apr 21, 2015 at 8:40 PM

    Comment #14

    Excellent welsh excellent !

  • bettyswallocks

    Apr 21, 2015 at 8:41 PM

    Comment #15

    Blackleg and Brownlie

    Do you have mental health issues?

  • BandB

    Apr 21, 2015 at 8:42 PM

    Comment #16

    Thanks for the compliment Welshie ha ha ha.

    I think I’ve got you too.

  • Jail for Ashley

    Apr 21, 2015 at 8:44 PM

    Comment #17

    Seeing his self made hero and violater of human rights taking a bit of a bashing has sent him a bit strange, he was senctioned during the miners strike when poor old maggie was in the firing line.

  • LGFUAD21

    Apr 21, 2015 at 8:45 PM

    Comment #18

    Scout. And everyone for that matter.

    Protests and boycotts are one thing but the reality is we need to see a significant decline in s/t revenue for next season.

    The downside is that that would also harm the revenue of our club quite a bit which would set us back.

    Another alternative along the lines of this fan buy-out of even finding a new buying would be to use something like kickstarter which is a crowd funding site.

    I don’t know how you’d get the logistics together with actually making an offer for a club but the benefit is that you get pledges without people having to put money up up front.

    Normally you do packages in return however this way you’d have to divide up shares and then add some bonus content.

    I wonder if the ashley out group or another organisation can work with kickstarter to do this. We’d need a proper business man to head up the efforts (like cortese at southampton) but it’d be a great piece of publicity for kickstarter as well as creating history not just for the club but for football in general.

  • Jail for Ashley

    Apr 21, 2015 at 8:47 PM

    Comment #19

    Are you a member of NUST ?

  • optimistic prime

    Apr 21, 2015 at 8:48 PM

    Comment #20


    The Wayarman idea is pretty good.

    How about the Nike logo with
    “just do one” on it.

    Doubt he has any shares in Nike and Puna also wouldn’t like it.

  • croftus5678

    Apr 21, 2015 at 8:49 PM

    Comment #21

    so siem/janmaat/colback as captain next season for me.

    with colback as a cm not a dm as the lad’s got a lot more forward play to his game than we give him credit for !

    anita/ober/river/colo/willo/sammy/fergie/bigi/raylor/goofy/tiote/guti/campbell/good/elliott can all go also (15 out)

    keep vukic/streete and bring in lecalles/darlow (4 in)

    the rest god knows we need 2 decent cb’s a decent rw and 2 decent strikers imo and a lb.

  • Mister Tuff

    Apr 21, 2015 at 8:50 PM

    Comment #22

    betty – he probably does. I could imagine him going to see the psychiatrist and then being referred to a specialist – an eminent Professor of Psychiatry who then orders a brain scan.
    The Professor interprets the scan images and declares Blackley is a fruit cake. Blackley then denies it and argues that the Professor is wrong and that he is more knowledgable than the Professor.

  • Jail for Ashley

    Apr 21, 2015 at 8:52 PM

    Comment #23

    I’m disappointed in bills, he seemed at least a man that would stick to his guns but he disappeared after claiming that Mikey would prove us all wrong one January. Fair enough he said he had health problems but he started told you so ing it after that six game streak we went on, only to disappear without trace now that it’s been proved without doubt that Mikey is a wrong un. He could at least come on here and fight his battles withoyt going on about how sh1t we were thirty years ago.

  • bettyswallocks

    Apr 21, 2015 at 8:53 PM

    Comment #24


    There is help out there. Venting out is encouraged from sufferers of bi polar and similar afflictions.

    Seek the right help for your condition and leave us alone on here.

  • lochinvar

    Apr 21, 2015 at 9:05 PM

    Comment #25

    91 out of 98.
    As Carver says : “always look on the bright side of life, de de de de dum….”
    So that’s ok then

  • 2_goal_tino

    Apr 21, 2015 at 9:14 PM

    Comment #26

    On my commute this morning, I made a list of our squad for the close season.
    Players who come through the season with credit: Colback, Perez, Janmaat, Aarons (before being ruined)
    Players who are good enough but have had a poor season: Sissoko, Krul, Tiote
    Players who deserve a chance: Siem de Jong, Cabella, Abeid
    Acceptable back – up: Haidara, Dummett,Cisse, S Taylor, Colo
    Players who have no place with us: Gouffran, Wilkiamson, R Taylor, Ameobi, Obertan, Anita, Elliot, Riviere


    Apr 21, 2015 at 10:31 PM

    Comment #27

    This whole falicie that Carr is a great scout….what a load of cr@p

    if Carr is so good why the hell did he let Fraser Foster leave and keep Krull??

    we could have had an English international goalkeeper and a local lad to boot but instead we went with another Foreign player who looks more and more calamitous every time he plays.

  • lochinvar

    Apr 21, 2015 at 10:36 PM

    Comment #28

    NUFC for sale @27
    The irony is that I saw a report suggesting that Southampton wanted Krul to replace Foster ( long term injury ) and Janmatt to replace Kline ( who hadn’t signed a contract ) .


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