John Carver Thinks John Carver Should Get The Newcastle Job

John Carver is still the guy who is pushing John Carver the most to be the next head coach of Newcastle United, even though with six defeats on the trot Newcastle are now slumping near the relegation zone,  and if we lose many more games we could be in trouble – and the man’s record is terrible – he has won two of 15 games for a 13.3% win rate, and lost 10 for a loss rate of 66.7% – and Newcastle have plummeted from 9th position in the league to 14th.

Those figures are abysmal and any reasonable person would think he has no chance of getting the Newcastle job full time.

But you never know with this Newcastle set-up.

john carver shouting pushing

John Carver thinks John Carver should get the job

John was asked today if he still thought he had a chance of getting the job full time:

“Absolutely, why wouldn’t I? I am not a defeatist. I am a positive guy.” “I know what is going on and I know the situation, and so do the football club. So I am not going to write myself off. A lot of people might.”

“It could be ex-players or pundits or whoever it is, that’s their opinion. They are entitled to do that but they don’t see the work we put in.” “They don’t see what I do on the training ground preparing the team, but people on the inside do.”

“I am the guy in charge and I would like to remain in charge.”  “I’d love to show you clips of our training sessions. You would actually think there was nothing wrong.”

“We had a group of people in this week, they were sponsors, about 20 of them through the week. They couldn’t believe what they were watching. That’s how good it was.”

“It’s no good being great trainers when we don’t perform at 3:00 pm on a Saturday afternoon. I’d rather have people performing on a Saturday and be poor on the training ground.”

Why is John talking about his training sessions – we watch the games and we are simply hopeless in those games – but we don’t see the training sessions and the players are great in those?

Does John think we were born yesterday – pull the other one John – it’s got bells on.

FA Cup100101-1

And if the players are great in training then why can John Carver not get them to play like that in the league games – where it really counts for something?

Here’s another case of John Carver talking John Carver up for a job that seems to be way over his head – and that’s not even an opinion – it’s based on the actual real world  results he has had this year.

Not how well his players are performing in training.

You can talk yourself into some jobs, but usually you have to have results and real ability to get a good job – John doesn’t have the results – only the reasons.

Should John Carver Be The Head Coach At Newcastle?

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Comments welcome.

129 comments so far

  • optimistic prime

    Apr 23, 2015 at 8:06 PM

    Comment #1

    Mactoon G2 Dissilutional

    I’m sure I read the playing support staff went up from 18 to 133 if I remember right.

    Don’t ask me what they do or who they are but that’s probably the increase.

  • Ibizatoon

    Apr 23, 2015 at 8:07 PM

    Comment #2

    OP…I’d never have you down as a Weird Al fan….explains oh so much…. 🙂

  • Jail for Ashley

    Apr 23, 2015 at 8:09 PM

    Comment #3

    I didn’t think it was possible !

  • MacToon

    Apr 23, 2015 at 8:10 PM

    Comment #4

    Support staff could mean anything and any wage, even zero hour contracts 😉
    To increase by £16 mil, especially to a level that FFS was criticised for and we had the likes of Shearer, Owen, Oba on the books then all on around £100 k per week. Who’s our biggest earner now? Colo on about £70 k –
    It just doesn’t really add up imho.

  • optimistic prime

    Apr 23, 2015 at 8:12 PM

    Comment #5


    Everyone should be a fan, he’s quite a funny chap.

  • optimistic prime

    Apr 23, 2015 at 8:15 PM

    Comment #6


    Is it because I’m just to white and nerdy 😉

  • welshgeordie9

    Apr 23, 2015 at 8:20 PM

    Comment #7

    I love ashley

    So you think swans are shit then do you, you really don’t know anything about football do you.

  • mikeashleyisamackem

    Apr 23, 2015 at 8:27 PM

    Comment #8

    Nevr posted in a while but thought I would have my 2 pence worth tonight
    Any season ticket holder who did not boycott the totts game should no longer ever complain about Mike Ashley this was your chance to show your dis content towards Mike Ashley ,by attending you showed him your support
    If you can’t miss one game for the benefit of the club your not a true fan
    I have heard all the arguments for attending , support the team etc I had already bought my ticket
    If you call that an excuse it’s pathetic
    What mAde me laugh was you s all left before the end
    You had your chance and blew it
    The boycott was not a success in any shape or form
    Drastic action is needed but I worrie the newcastle faithfull are not up for the fight
    We will be lumbered with Mike Ashley for many years to come and will continue with this pointlessness
    No ambition no identity no stomach for a fight
    Just like the 40000 plus idiots in St James

  • Ibizatoon

    Apr 23, 2015 at 8:27 PM

    Comment #9

    OP…Yes, that’s it! 😉

  • bettyswallocks

    Apr 23, 2015 at 8:29 PM

    Comment #10

    Blackley has a need for confrontation and arguments its part of his syndrome.

    It is impossible to offend someone with his condition he’s like a dog after being punished , he’ll come back wagging his tail for forgiveness.

    To patronise him a bit will keep him quieter and less aggressive, so here goes,,

    High five Blackley you’re the man!!

  • toonicle

    Apr 23, 2015 at 8:30 PM

    Comment #11

    WTF difference does it make how good they are in training sessions? Can’t win any points from those John I hope you know that.

  • scout

    Apr 23, 2015 at 8:32 PM

    Comment #12

    Try some closing people down faster John, its embarrassing to watch. Our players should be super fit after no cup runs.
    Sponsor people impressed??? Oh yeah the guys from wonga couldnt believe some players were faster than earl from the cartoon adverts.

  • GeordieTwo

    Apr 23, 2015 at 8:32 PM

    Comment #13

    That doesn’t sound right optimate @1. 18 to 133? No club has 133 playing support staff, especially not Ashley. I could see 20 at most? What do others think? No, I think most of the wage bill increase was due to bonuses for finishing 10th. It’s the only thing I can think of but it’s outrageous considering how poorly this team playes.

  • Ibizatoon

    Apr 23, 2015 at 8:33 PM

    Comment #14

    betty….But right now, it’s just so quiet….

    mikeashleyisamackem…Didn’t work? What did you expect it to achieve?

    Fans have started to unite.
    The cause has worldwide coverage.
    Plans continue this week.

    It was extremely successful in my opinion, well, and what seems to be general opinion.

  • GeordieTwo

    Apr 23, 2015 at 8:37 PM

    Comment #15

    Ashley must be grinding his teeth now thinking about how we’ve slipped to 14th which will cost him 8M pounds (or more if we slip further as we probably will). That’s what happens when you’re a football fool Mike. Nobody else would have left that squad as it was in January and nobody else would have left Carver in charge. Clear evidence that you are indeed a football fool Mike.

  • GeordieTwo

    Apr 23, 2015 at 8:38 PM

    Comment #16

    A baby faced buffoon. A mealy mouthed maggot, A greedy git. You get it don’t you Ashley?

  • mikeashleyisamackem

    Apr 23, 2015 at 8:40 PM

    Comment #17

    A success your having a laugh
    Do you think for one minute Ashley will be worried about that
    Had the ground been empty then it may have got him out of his seat
    He has reduced ticket prices for Swansea as he knows the 7000 seats he lost will be bought from people who don’t own season tickets
    A. Ha cd to take the kids while it’s cheap
    40000 empty seats would have been a different story
    Hope it happens at swNsea

  • jesperfuglsang - capt'n awesome of the lemon crew

    Apr 23, 2015 at 8:46 PM

    Comment #18

    OP…Weird Al can always put a smile on my face 🙂

    …he actually just released a bunch a songs online…check out “Tacky”…reminds me of Belfast lol

  • Belfast

    Apr 23, 2015 at 8:52 PM

    Comment #19

    They must have all been training naked or something, sponsors couldn’t believe what they were watching….

    What ferking sponsors by the way ? Wonga and sports direct ?

    Heedcase !

  • mikeashleyisamackem

    Apr 23, 2015 at 8:52 PM

    Comment #20

    The whole football world is laughing at us
    We can t even boycott properly
    If the ground is full at Swansea then I give up supporting newcastle
    50000 thickos getting pissed on from above and keep going back for more
    Well there will be 1 empty seat and that will be mine

  • mikeashleyisamackem

    Apr 23, 2015 at 8:58 PM

    Comment #21

    People need to realise the message an empty stadium will send
    I couldn’t care less if we are relegated it’s not like where competing for anything we might as well be in the championship
    Same silverware at the end of it sweet fa
    The club takes a massive step the day Mike Ashley packs his bags

  • scout

    Apr 23, 2015 at 8:58 PM

    Comment #22

    Look on the bright side we wont go down

  • scout

    Apr 23, 2015 at 8:59 PM

    Comment #23

    I could keep us up with a 30 million spend

  • mikeashleyisamackem

    Apr 23, 2015 at 9:01 PM

    Comment #24

    Honestly what difference does it make if we go down
    We aren’t competing for anything anyway
    It’s pointless
    The whole thing is a sham
    Maybe relagation wod convince Ashley to sell

  • scout

    Apr 23, 2015 at 9:06 PM

    Comment #25

    Thats true about going down. We dont want europe, dont want cups and cant win the prem. At least in the Championship we won something.

  • lesh

    Apr 23, 2015 at 9:07 PM

    Comment #26

    ‘……….they don’t see the work we put in’ says friend Carver.

    Does the oaf not know that activity and productivity are entirely different?

    Why the hell Charnley’s sitting on his butt listening to the deluded clown sing his own praises I just don’t know – unless….. heaven forbid, they’re going to give him the job.

    Believe in himself or not, as Ed says along with many thousands of others, it’s results that count and they’ve been crap!

    Charnley’s clearly lacking the guts to put the hapless idiot out of his misery. And Ashley can’t be oblivious to their form so why the hell he doesn’t bladder them both, beats me.

  • scout

    Apr 23, 2015 at 9:07 PM

    Comment #27

    If Ashley spend 200 million does anyone think we would get top 4?

  • scout

    Apr 23, 2015 at 9:09 PM

    Comment #28

    LC must make a superb cup of splosh

  • lesh

    Apr 23, 2015 at 9:11 PM

    Comment #29

    No John maybe you’re deluding yourself.

    Could it be that the sponsors really couldn’t believe what they were watching!

    But then again, we are talking Wonga and they’re hardly the best judges – though seeing what they saw might just convince them to withdraw their toxic sponsorship!!

  • Ibizatoon

    Apr 23, 2015 at 9:22 PM

    Comment #30

    mikeashleyisamackem..Not having a laught at all, well, not about that anyway.

    I just don’t see the sense in getting frustrated at those who aren’t ready yet. Nor setting ourselves pointless targets.

    Supporting another team isn’t an option, supporting Ashleys team isn’t an option, so we have to continue the fight.

    IMO, if we don’t, we’re equally responsible for this situation.

    The pressure us building on Ashley.

    Lesh…I was wondering whether you could drop me a line? Had a response to your request.


  • Ibizatoon

    Apr 23, 2015 at 9:25 PM

    Comment #31

    As for relegation…It may well happen this year. Unlikely, but possible.

    I’m far less resistent than I used to be about the idea though. Such is the way I feel about Ashleys NUFC. What is the point in it (Ashleys NUFC that is…)

  • Kurt

    Apr 23, 2015 at 9:28 PM

    Comment #32


    Couldn`t agree with you more. I will never set step at St. James` again before this idiot is gone.

    Im hoping for a empty stadium against Swansea

  • Novocastrian66

    Apr 23, 2015 at 9:29 PM

    Comment #33

    mikeashleyisamackem; You may not have posted for a while but your making up for it now!
    I think the boycott was a success. The media in England are now aware of the plight of our club and the way it is being ran. They’re no longer talking about “delusional” supporters with ambitions above the club’s stature. They now talk about how the club with the third highest attendances in the country, seventh richest in the country, 19th richest in the world, is being ran with zero ambition beyond achieving Premier League status.
    People sat up and took notice because they know that; unlike anywhere else in the country, if Newcastle supporters stop going to the game there is a major problem. Quite simply because of the blind loyalty and devotion of the fan base usual means a full house on match days.

  • jimmysmith

    Apr 23, 2015 at 9:30 PM

    Comment #34

    The increase in wages would suggest DeJong, Cabella, Riviera, Ferreyra and Janmaat are on decent money, and that Newcastle have likely upgraded their wage structure.

    Inflation and competition being natural upward drivers, but it also perhaps indicates more ambition as more profit is generated.

    You want better performances on the pitch, but putting it down to lack of desire to spend or penny pinching might not be so apt anymore.

    Perhaps the question of overall competence in the areas of scouting and recruiting is now a greater concern.

    Out of the aforementioned five, only Janmaat has been worth it so far, although you might well feel Cabella and De Jong can both still come good, but Riviera and Ferreyra look like duds.

    I like fan pressure, but I think the message should be lets continue to see that money spent, and spent better.

  • Belfast

    Apr 23, 2015 at 9:30 PM

    Comment #35

    Beware Lesh, the grooming usually starts after the first email.

  • toon22

    Apr 23, 2015 at 9:31 PM

    Comment #36

    For me the top and bottom of it is that i cant remember the last time i watched the last time i saw them playing well.
    I mean not just an individual pulling some thing out of the bag to get a result but the whole team actually out playing another team.

    Atm all i see is a bunch of players who might as well have been found outside the ground an hour before kick off.

    Maybe a Bobby Robson team might have been the last decent team ive seen?

    Ok what was the last side anyone can recall who were worth watching?

    As for me its been shite for a decade.

  • lochinvar

    Apr 23, 2015 at 9:33 PM

    Comment #37

    Well John if the training sessions are so good where can I get a season ticket to watch. ?
    Or can I swap my match ticket for a training game ticket ?
    Will Sky broadcast the training sessions?
    Where are NUFC in the training games league – don’t tell me, let me guess

  • lochinvar

    Apr 23, 2015 at 9:33 PM

    Comment #38

    Well John if the training sessions are so good where can I get a season ticket to watch. ?
    Or can I swap my match ticket for a training game ticket ?
    Will Sky broadcast the training sessions?
    Where are NUFC in the training games league – don’t tell me, let me guess

  • mikeashleyisamackem

    Apr 23, 2015 at 9:36 PM

    Comment #39

    50000 should turn up but not go in
    And only wear black n white t shirts with Ashley out splatterd every where
    Then if that doesn’t work we should ran sack all his sports direct shops and get 100 percent discount on your favourite trainers lol just joking
    We should boycott his shops for sure
    And refuse to wear his shirts
    Am bringing back the White collard keegan era shirt
    We should also fly a plane over St James with a banner saying
    Then another saying
    Yeah you ta fat bast ard
    If only I had the money and the plane
    Seriously we need to be more inventive
    A massive campaign till he is gone

  • MacToon

    Apr 23, 2015 at 9:37 PM

    Comment #40


    The increase in wages (the £16m we’ve been talking about) is from before DeJong, Cabella, Riviera, Ferreyra and Janmaat joined the club.
    *As in the end of June 2014


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