Carver’s Poor Man-Management Taking Newcastle Down

John Carver provided us all with yet another headline making press conference yesterday and gave an update on what he has been doing every day since the devastating defeat last Saturday at Leicester City, and he continues to embarrass both himself and Newcastle United. because of his inexperience and naivety.

john carver sunderland

John Carver – volatile personality

When he amazingly accused Mike Williamson of getting himself purposely sent off last Saturday he said it was all for a purpose (yeah – right):

“I’m trying to get something. I talk about having a strategy, find a way of winning a football match. I’ve got to try and get something out of them. When somebody provokes me, then it makes me even more determined.”

“That’s me as a person. I’m trying to do that to some of the players to get a reaction. There’s nothing personal in any of it.” “I sat with Mike Williamson. We had good discussion. It was excellent, two-way.”

“The week before it was Jonas, same thing.” “You sometimes have to do things to stir the hornets nest.” This situation has been building for a while and Carver acknowledges the problems have been building.”

So John  has had problems with Mike Williamson and Jonas Gutierrez recently, and he talks about that as if it’s good.

It’s not good, and it just shows that Carver has far too many blow-ups with his players because of his volatile personality and self-centered approach – that’s never good for a football coach.

The decision to keep Carver in charge for the last three games made last Monday by the Brains Trust at Newcastle will be the death knell for the club in the Premier League this season.

We hope we are wrong on that.

176 comments so far

  • Pokat

    May 8, 2015 at 9:36 AM

    Comment #1

    Strategy? Whaaaaaa? I don’t know what plans he sets out or what formations he puts down but
    Tactics somehow usually never kick in.

  • croftus5678

    May 8, 2015 at 9:37 AM

    Comment #2

    such a rubbish season so what will happen ?

    wilo will go colo will go guti will go sammy will go raylor will go and alnwick i’d pretty much bet my house on these now which makes me feel better even though on paper we have got a worse squad when they do go.

    vukic will be back darlow/lescalles will come into the squad—-quite pleased with that tbh as lescalles is better than what we have and vukic has improved a lot and is very creative and adds goals which we need in the squad and darlow looks a very decent keeper ! far better than alnwick was.

    if we go down lots will leave and i aint happy about that but if we stay we will retain janmaat/cisse/perez/colback/abied/siem/rolando and i’ll be a hell of a lot more happy.

    tiote/ober/siss/anita could stay or go i cant guess what the club will do tbh ! i’d personally like to keep sissoko as when he is motivated he can be a major cog in our team.

  • Pokat

    May 8, 2015 at 9:41 AM

    Comment #3

    We’ve got a ready made championship side waiting to come back in from loans all right. Pathetic. Btw Lochinvar from previous thread if they are still playing with blade cleats somebody seriously needs to have an angry chimp eat their face lol cos if they dont I will.

  • one fine day

    May 8, 2015 at 9:41 AM

    Comment #4

    Dear john ,
    When a player is doing a job we all dream of and paid per month what our house is worth ( other than black lie & brownley obviously ) why do you feel the need to ” get a reaction” from them?
    You are saying you don’t worry what others are saying about our club … Well we fu@@ ing do mate we get up with a horrible groan every Sunday of late and feel a dull ache of what you, stone and Beardsley have been allowed to do by an owner and directors who have not a clue as to what this club is about.
    You all landed dream jobs and you all collectively have fucked it up.
    Moncur great skipper
    Peter. When I was a kid I wanted to be you
    But now you are both an embarrassment.
    What ever happens this weekend .. Once the seasons over please just fu@@ off to a golf course. Somewhere and stay there

  • hibbit

    May 8, 2015 at 9:45 AM

    Comment #5

    crofts what you could happen but none of it will matter if we keep carver as head coach and buy another batch of second rate players

  • Cuppak

    May 8, 2015 at 9:45 AM

    Comment #6
  • NezzaNUFC

    May 8, 2015 at 9:49 AM

    Comment #7

    Shot bru

    If it’s the situation about Carver not getting the sack last week or this week to me this was a smart move by the board, why replace him for only 3 games? The funds would only come out of the Newcastle funds so that would be a waste especially on McClaren or even worse Moyes.

    With the situation over the transfer budget again this would be a smart move because in my view if we improved the squad with the money would it be wise to have Pardew managing Newcastle whilst we improved the squad? Again this would be a waste.

  • one fine day

    May 8, 2015 at 9:50 AM

    Comment #8

    5Cuppak // May 8, 2015 at 9:45 AM

    Podolski is ours for 10m £? Is that real or what?
    Just noticed you here for the last week or so
    Please tell us your not a robot as you constantly post blasting news Hungary stuff
    Is this to get hits on a eastern euro site or are you a genuine nufc fan ?

  • MrMojoRisin76

    May 8, 2015 at 9:51 AM

    Comment #9

    About as real as Jesus discovering the Loch Ness monster.

  • croftus5678

    May 8, 2015 at 9:56 AM

    Comment #10

    @4 hibbit

    carver going back to assistant should have been top of the list tbh if not going all together.

  • Blackley and Brownlie

    May 8, 2015 at 9:56 AM

    Comment #11

    AO’s statement smacks of such condescending moral supremacy that young Ciaran might have written it.

  • beermonkey

    May 8, 2015 at 9:59 AM

    Comment #12

    jesus has discovered the lochness monster when did this happen

  • catchy in norway

    May 8, 2015 at 9:59 AM

    Comment #13

    Charvers thought process

    Remember when you ran away and I got on my knees and begged you not to leave because I’d go berzerk?
    Well, you left me anyhow and the days got worse and worse and now you see I’ve gone completely out of my mind.

    And They’re coming to take me away Ha Ha
    They’re coming to take me away ho ho he he ha ha
    to the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time, and I’ll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats
    and they’re coming to take me away ha ha

    You thought it was joke and so you laughed, you laughed when I had said that losing you would make me flip my lid, right? You know you laughed, I heard you laugh, you laughed, you laughed and laughed and then you left, but now you know I’m utterly mad.

    And they’re coming to take me away Ha Ha
    They’re coming to take me away ho ho he he ha ha
    To the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes
    They’re coming to take me away ha ha…

    I cooked your food, I cleaned your house, and this is how you paid me back for all my kind unselfish loving deeds. Huh? Well you just wait they’ll find you yet, and when they do they’ll put you in the ASPCA you mangy mutt.

    And They’re coming to take me away Ha Ha
    They’re coming to take me away ho ho he he ha ha
    To the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time and I’ll be happy to see those nice men in their clean white coats
    They’re coming to take me away Ha Ha
    To the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle thier thumbs and toes
    They’re coming to take me away Ha Ha Ha

    Your home the one the bank foreclosed, You cried to me Monogamy is the way we both must live or you’ll feel hurt. But, I see, I see there’s someone new, your anxious poly-pure-bred coat was even gone at our place while I paid the rent, thanks!

    And They’re coming to take me away Ha Ha
    They’re coming to take me away ho ho he he ha ha
    To the loony bin with all you can eat perscription drugs like thorizine, and lithium, and electric shock and insulin
    They’re coming to take me away Ha Ha

  • Shot Bru

    May 8, 2015 at 10:04 AM

    Comment #14


    You are saying the board have made a smart move?

    They have done nothing but panic and procrastinate in the last week alone..never mind since P45Due left.

    Talking of smart moves…look at Villa…they sack Lambert and get Sherwood in within a week or so.

  • davetoon

    May 8, 2015 at 10:06 AM

    Comment #15

    I guarantee Carver will be left in as head coach if we get relegated

  • one fine day

    May 8, 2015 at 10:06 AM

    Comment #16

    Dear john ,
    Please tell me why a player who is doing a job we can only dream of and is being paid per month what most pay for there family home (other than black lie and brownley manor obviously) why you feel you need to provoke a ” reaction ” to get them to perform ?
    Please John you say you don’t worry about what others are saying about this / ” our / your club “?
    Guess what we @@@@ing do mate
    We awaken with an ache in the guts every morning
    We go to work gutted
    We hate Sunday mornings
    As ex pats we hate Mondays at work hearing how shit we are and are now a shadow
    We are exhausted trying to explain to outsiders why etc as really when you try to explain it really does sounds along the lines of”the dog ate my homework and I left them , dog and homework on the bus”
    You john along with your fellow Geordies stone Moncur and f@@k me … Perron were given a dream ticket.
    Now please all at seasons end look in a collective mirror and admit you are not good enough.
    Moncur great skipper even forgiven for time with mackums but you sold your sole.
    Peter .. What can I say .. I grew up wanting to be like you man …Jesus
    Other than retire to a golf course for ever the best thing you all can do now to salvage pride is come out and say how things really are instead of being part of the biggest disaster in our once proud institution .
    It’s up to you boys ..
    This club is bigger than all of you and certainly bigger Han the salad dodging bell end. Who claims to run us .
    It will be great one day ,just not with any of you involved so please have a modicum of self respect and go

  • one fine day

    May 8, 2015 at 10:09 AM

    Comment #17

    Apologies for numerous auto corrects in that past thanks to Apple phone:(

  • toon kk

    May 8, 2015 at 10:15 AM

    Comment #18

    The stadium should have been called the SD areana, the team SD unt.
    boycott leave MA to his mess. The club has nothing to do with the fans as far as MA concerned.
    Joke club, biggest laugh in football history.

  • one fine day

    May 8, 2015 at 10:16 AM

    Comment #19

    Blacklie and brownlie
    Are you still intending to make yourself known at the ground on sat?
    Are you the one in the middle in the distinctive yellow. Jacket?

  • Cuppak

    May 8, 2015 at 10:17 AM

    Comment #20

    I’m totally genuine bro! 😀

    They have like 20 news from Newcastle/day. I only post links about news what i think are interesting. Like the Podolski news, cause there’s nothing about it.

    I think that they dont need my hits by linking them… 😀

  • geordieboy83

    May 8, 2015 at 10:18 AM

    Comment #21

    It seems weird that jc has fallen out with probably the 2 most unlikely players you could fall out with. Bloke is a tool

  • BandB

    May 8, 2015 at 10:24 AM

    Comment #22


    I see the exclamation mark is back on the blog……

  • optimistic prime

    May 8, 2015 at 10:26 AM

    Comment #23

    Losers talk about trying, winners just go and do it.

    Just do one John!


  • bettyswallocks

    May 8, 2015 at 10:31 AM

    Comment #24

    Someone suggested that Carver has more chance of remaining as head coach in the championship.

    If he has realised this………mmmmmm. Food for thought.

  • John Tudor

    May 8, 2015 at 10:34 AM

    Comment #25

    its a contrivance to get relegated
    we will be striped of assets then raffled off

  • John Tudor

    May 8, 2015 at 10:35 AM

    Comment #26

    keep on with the assault

  • Hughie_Gallacher

    May 8, 2015 at 10:42 AM

    Comment #27

    Blackley and Brownlie:

    You’d probably accuse anybody taking a principled stand on anything as guilty of “condescending moral supremacy.”

    AO made the statement they did because of all the sentimental tripe coming out the last week about “getting behind the team.”

    They didn’t want to be accused of being backstabbers by the likes of you.

    Mind you, the protests will happen anyway.

  • optimistic prime

    May 8, 2015 at 10:43 AM

    Comment #28

    Here’s one of those fans that Apparentley don’t have a credible opinion.

    Howay that fan

  • John Tudor

    May 8, 2015 at 10:43 AM

    Comment #29

    viva la revolution

  • Lindisfarne

    May 8, 2015 at 10:46 AM

    Comment #30

    Not quite but almost worth turning up tomorrow to sing Hakuna Matata to John ‘its got nothing to do with me’ Carver.

    Hakuna Matata, what a wonderful phrase
    Hakuna Matata, ain’t no passing craze
    It means no worries for the rest of your days
    It’s our problem free philosophy, Hakuna Matata

  • Lindisfarne

    May 8, 2015 at 10:50 AM

    Comment #31

    I do not think these two are even NUFC fans:

    Maybe Ashley might realise that it’s not having a good cup run, or playing in the Europa League that can cause relegation, but appointing shit managers, not replacing players, encouraging mediocrity and a losing mentality (by not trying in the cups), sending the message to players that they won’t win anything and at best will find another club. That’s what causes them to be in a relegation battle.

    I can’t understand why and Newcastle fan turns up. And that has been the way for a few years now. The ‘club’ (really an empty advertising vehicle for Ashley/Sports Direct), don’t want to succeed, and don’t even try.

    Forfeit the cups, don’t qualify for Europe, and hang around mid-table somewhere.

    I would have stopped going a long time ago. I feel for the Newcastle fans, but what is the point in turning up and giving Ashley money? An actual boycott may force him out, til then, Newcastle is a waste of time.

  • Lindisfarne

    May 8, 2015 at 10:54 AM

    Comment #32

    “”Newcastle’s business model necessarily requires them to sit in the lower half of the Premier League, but Carver cannot absolve himself completely from the run of defeats that have occurred under his watch. With matches against QPR, who have won two away matches all season, and West Ham, who have little left to play for, Newcastle should be able to gather enough points. But their survival is likely to rest on the ineptitude of others rather than their own fighting spirit.””
    Paul Campbell

  • Average_Contents

    May 8, 2015 at 10:55 AM

    Comment #33


    I think it was lilo who first mentioned yesterday (before they said anything) that by them not having planned anything this weekend it could actually work in their favour and could not therefore be accused of aiding relegation (something any normal fan would realise anyway, apart from the odd knobber)

    I don’t necessarily agree but can understand the reasons why. The club would no doubt spin it that way by snidey leaks “a source at the club”

  • Essex Geordie Bill

    May 8, 2015 at 11:00 AM

    Comment #34

    One fine day
    I realise it wasn’t you that made the mistake but the auto correct.

    But the the thought of Moncur peddling fish was an amusing image. 🙂

    Poor old Nige didn’t get his seat , pity in my opinion

  • Lindisfarne

    May 8, 2015 at 11:01 AM

    Comment #35

    Can the Guardian please open up comments on the “John Carver is the best in the league article”? I think people may have a word or two to say on that!

    Guardian, please don’t. I can’t take the shame.

    In the name of human decency please keep the poor chap away from microphones.

    But he’s hilarious, he’s definitely the best comedian in the EPL. When he gets sacked he should look at a stand up career.

  • John Tudor

    May 8, 2015 at 11:02 AM

    Comment #36

    “Artiensis est piss tumelioso raeda”

  • Average_Contents

    May 8, 2015 at 11:07 AM

    Comment #38

    No OP.

    His opinion DOESN’T count.

    How very dare he comment. How very dare he support NUFC thousands of miles away. What a travesty.

    I wonder if he’s ever been? If not, I suggest contacting the local police to have him incarcerated, then whipped, then tortured, then bled dry of his none black and white blood.

  • Lindisfarne

    May 8, 2015 at 11:08 AM

    Comment #39

    Human development? JCs lineage must be an off shoot.

  • optimistic prime

    May 8, 2015 at 11:09 AM

    Comment #40


    I don’t think that punishment is severe enough, maybe lock him in a room with Blackley and Welsh.

    That’ll teach him

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