Newcastle To Try Something Different For Next Week

John is now saying he will keep his players focused next week by not allowing them to go online and not watch any TV – but that’s simply a PR stunt – because how can he enforce that – it’s simply more strange stuff  coming from John Carver – and we wish he would stop talking to the press.

john carver scumpled face

John Carver – self-proclaimed best coach in the Premier League
Heaven help the rest

Six games ago it was that we had six Cup Finals left,  but we have lost four of the first five of those – so that went out of the door.

And when you remember that Newcastle’s policy is to field weakened sides in the cup competitions –  it wasn’t really a meaningful compassion for John to talk about – and ironic at best.

This is some of what John Carver said after the ninth defeat in ten games yesterday:

“I’ll tell the players to keep away from the TV and going online, to keep them focused on preparation.” “If you take your eye off the ball you get punished, and we’ve got to keep our focus sharp.”

“It’s still in our hands, and if you want it enough then you can do something about it.” ‘We’ve got a week to get our heads around this situation.”

“I’ve tried everything in the book I think.” “Sometimes the quality’s not there, you’re just not good enough, and Saturday might have been that situation.”  

“Pressure’s a funny thing, but now we have to control it.”

So John has tried everything in the book, and since we still keep losing, what does that tell you about John Carver and the coaching team?

Alan Pardew didn’t do too bad with the same players in the first half of the season, when we picked up 26 points in the first 19 games – John has picked up 10 point over the next 18 games.

It certainly doesn’t reflect well on them – although as we know it’s not John’s fault because the players are just not good enough.

We know that because that’s what John said after our ninth defeat in ten games yesterday after the game – and he’s put it another way in his comments above – it’s obviously got nothing to do with him.

When all is said and done about John Carver – more is said than done.

And if we do survive next Sunday, we do not want to hear from John Carver that he saved Newcastle, and that he must now be in pole position to get the Newcastle head coach job full time.

And behind the scenes Lee Charnley and Mike Ashley will be panicking, but they are the ones who kept John in place after he had lost eight games in a row – and they may now realize he cannot get the win on Sunday that will save us.

He’s not only lost the players, but he’s also lost the fans – because of his very poor performance as head coach, plus the strange stuff he tells the press.

So we may be completely dependent on Steve Bruce’s Hull City not beating Manchester United on Sunday afternoon.

If Hull do win that game, there will be books written about how Newcastle managed to get themselves relegated in this second half of this season.

It’s called complete and utter incompetence coming from the top of the club, and they have sown the seeds of this disaster,  because of their illogical decision-making over the last nine months or so.

That’s not an opinion – it’s based purely on the facts – which we have listed enough times.

Comments welcome.

263 comments so far

  • John Tudor

    May 17, 2015 at 5:37 PM

    Comment #1

    what actually trying to win

  • Obertan's better than Messi

    May 17, 2015 at 5:40 PM

    Comment #2

    So if I list an opinion multiple times it becomes a fact … cool I always wondered how that worked in here.

    So do I wiggle my nose or not?

  • jesperfuglsang - capt'n awesome of the lemon crew

    May 17, 2015 at 5:42 PM

    Comment #3

    I thought censorship was illegal in the UK?

    Something different they could try the next week and the weeks to come was to remove Carver and have someone else take over!

    …restore some faith will be a beginning.

    The coaching staff needs to go and it should be a priority in our ongoing protests. We need to apply pressure 🙂

    We don’t have one single problem but a situation. We need to address it as such.

  • jesperfuglsang - capt'n awesome of the lemon crew

    May 17, 2015 at 5:44 PM

    Comment #4

    …I know the job is his! Sadly 🙁

  • scout

    May 17, 2015 at 5:47 PM

    Comment #5

    Why dont the players just forget everything this man says and win a game. Colo should get the lads out on a pitch somewhere and sort out a plan.

  • Obertan's better than Messi

    May 17, 2015 at 5:54 PM

    Comment #6

    Perhaps he knows an Argentinian waiter at the Man Utd hotel?

    Best plan I can come up with … you’ve got to realise by now decent footy really isn’t an option?

  • toonarmydownsouth

    May 17, 2015 at 5:54 PM

    Comment #7

    Worst result possible for us that, cheers ya manc b*stards

  • jesperfuglsang - capt'n awesome of the lemon crew

    May 17, 2015 at 5:55 PM

    Comment #8

    scout…it would probably make more sense to install Colo ad player coach for the last game and let them do what they think is right!

    …at least they’ll be in it together. All for one and one for all!

    But if it’s already Carver’s job then nothing will happen!

  • Alternative Headline

    May 17, 2015 at 5:57 PM

    Comment #9

    what about comics John, we most prevent them from reading comics or were doomed

  • toon kk

    May 17, 2015 at 5:59 PM

    Comment #10

    We’re the next Blackpool.
    At the end of the day it’s MA who’s going to loss the most. Although his biggest concern will be always be SD, free worldwide advertising will be his major concern.
    I haven’t the same interest in Mashleys SD club. You can’t call us NUFC any more.
    Joke club

  • NezzaNUFC

    May 17, 2015 at 6:00 PM

    Comment #11

    If nothing improves next season I think it’s time to revolt against hidden people.

    Forget trying to get MA out because it ain’t going to happen, even if we do get relegated MA is going no where.

    Carver, Stone, Woodman, Lee and any other dumb ass coaches we have need to be chased away, and if this doesn’t work aim at the players we have for next season.

    There’s only a certain amount of pressure players can take before terminating there own contracts.

    Things like this goes a long way and when word gets out amongst players, agents, clubs MA will be shitting in his pants.

    “cutting the head of a snake and it still will bite back, remove the body though and it won’t come back and just die off”

  • Obertan's better than Messi

    May 17, 2015 at 6:03 PM

    Comment #12

    Cheer up guys.
    Look on the bright side.

    Willo’s back!
    That’s gotta help? Right?

    Where’s the f..king purples gone?
    Not a purple on the pitch.


  • lochinvar

    May 17, 2015 at 6:04 PM

    Comment #13

    Has De Gea just pulled a sickie at Man Utd so he doesn’t play in their last game against Hull and get crocked before joining Real Madrid ?
    Reserve keeper gives goal away against Arsenal and match drawn ?
    Arsenal beat Mackems and Man Utd don’t have to turn against Hull as they are stuck in 4th place so can’t influence Champions league position.
    Mmmm….. Conspiracy theory anyone ?

  • davis_toons

    May 17, 2015 at 6:04 PM

    Comment #14

    Colo often then not got his head to the ball and my question is why was this role not given to him so much earlier?

    Why are are always insisting on Williamson to get on to the ball?

    In this short period, Colo have got his head to the ball more often then Williamson in his years at Newcastle Utd.

    The Coaches are just too lazy to make change and let players run out on their own,

    What we are having are not Training Coaches but Resting Cockroaches.

  • toon kk

    May 17, 2015 at 6:05 PM

    Comment #15

    it’s a great result. We shouldn’t have to rely on Hull loosing, If we loose to West Ham we deserve to go down.

  • NezzaNUFC

    May 17, 2015 at 6:05 PM

    Comment #16

    for the attending fans home and away only one cheer should be coming out of your mouths and that’s


    If any of our players have the ball Booooooooooooooooooo

    Pressure is the mother of all f@ck ups!

  • davis_toons

    May 17, 2015 at 6:08 PM

    Comment #17

    Willo’s back!… Shit!

    Will he score and own goal or a wicked deflection to send us down to his league?

  • Blackley and Brownlie

    May 17, 2015 at 6:08 PM

    Comment #18


    It’s been a few hours since you knocked out a Carver is Sh1t article. Good to see you back on track. Cathartic for you writing it. Amusing for me reading it. Also you throw in a pop at the complete and utter incompetence coming from the top. Nice one. And that’s not an opinion -it’s based purely on the facts.

  • jesperfuglsang - capt'n awesome of the lemon crew

    May 17, 2015 at 6:09 PM

    Comment #19

    NezzaNUFC…I think we need to address the opportunists who come to this club for selfish reasons only…

    …and we need to put pressure on the club to remove coaches and other personal who are not good enough.

    Like I said earlier we don’t just have one problem but a situation.

  • Obertan's better than Messi

    May 17, 2015 at 6:10 PM

    Comment #20

    Very biblical Nezza and good to see the old Urban tale (sorry) about snake’s heads being dead if you chop them off being debunked on the blog.

    Snake’s heads are dangerous things man. Tell your kids!

  • optimistic prime

    May 17, 2015 at 6:11 PM

    Comment #21

    Try quitting John, it’s the only way foward
    Trust me

  • davis_toons

    May 17, 2015 at 6:12 PM

    Comment #22

    OOOhh….god please help ..Pls do not allow Willo to get on to dead balls Colo is a better choice and have a better chance on creating something for the team.

    On QPR game ..Colo drop the ball to Rivi but he couldn’t finish it.

  • BandB

    May 17, 2015 at 6:15 PM

    Comment #23

    So it appears we will go into May 24th with only three teams with anything to play for.
    Us, Hull and Sunderland. Now where have I seen that scenario before?

    Sunderland will need nothing unless we win, presuming they get nothing against Arsenal midweek.
    Hull, led by Manchester United old boy Steve Bruce, face a United team probably unable by then to overtake Arsenal.
    And we have West Ham (goal difference -1) in a match where a large proportion of those involved on either side may hold one sort of a grudge or another against our great leader.

    The omens are fab then!

  • NezzaNUFC

    May 17, 2015 at 6:16 PM

    Comment #24

    jesperfuglsang – capt’n awesome of the lemon crew

    Totally agree mate, it’s time to hit back and be United.

    After the WHU game I’m expecting a new, exciting head coach to come through, much larger improvement on the squad after the deadwood is gone, and new coaches coming in.

    This won’t happen as to why we need to revolt against them when the new season starts, no improvement then the first game of the season revolt against the lot of them.

    Better still I’ll give it 3-4 weeks after the season has ended to see where MA & CO have got to offer us in return of 8 years of sh!t.

  • BandB

    May 17, 2015 at 6:19 PM

    Comment #25

    jesper is a closet Ashley fan too.

    It’s time it was said.

  • optimistic prime

    May 17, 2015 at 6:20 PM

    Comment #26

    I wonder how John feels about the people who’ll lose their jobs when he completes his job of taking us down.

    I know his lord and master won’t give a toss but these will be people he’s supposed to be one of. Maybe friends or even family to some.

    I’m sure he’ll make it all ok, as he’ll be kept on in the Championship to put things right.

  • cyprus

    May 17, 2015 at 6:22 PM

    Comment #27

    Don’t look good… Hull will be all out v. ManU, we will get our draw. ManU must get something from Hull. I don’t remember ever cheering ManU on.

  • benjohnsen

    May 17, 2015 at 6:24 PM

    Comment #28

    Arsenal made a draw against Manchester United today. Should Arsenal win over Sunderland Tuesday,they will seal automatic qualification to the champions league. I think Newcastle can relegated on it as Manchester United will have absolutely nothing to play for. It’s a bit catch 22 this one as you kind of hope Sunderland will beat Arsenal to keep Manchester United on their toes for their game against Hull. This also goes to show how much I trust John Carver and that he can manage to get a result.

  • geordieboy83

    May 17, 2015 at 6:25 PM

    Comment #29

    So then john lets get this straight if like most people on here you had common sense and played a team of players in their correct positions, along the lines of
    Daryl. Collo. Dummet. Anita
    Abeid. Colback
    Sissoko. Cabella. Ayoze

    That team doesn’t have the quality to beat qpr does it not? Fcuking moron. If you play what is not our strongest 11 then try to deflect it away from yourself then my friend you’re a helmet. Man up and accept you’re sh1te

  • GeordieTwo

    May 17, 2015 at 6:25 PM

    Comment #30

    I have a different strategy for West Ham Johnny C. A lot of you have been asking how I would approach it. Well here it is mates: start them off with some high hard cheese. Really brush them back. Then a few low and outside. Then go to the cutter and work our way back inside. Then finish them off with some off speed stuff. Beautiful. Oh….wait. What sport is this again? 😯

  • GeordieTwo

    May 17, 2015 at 6:28 PM

    Comment #31

    Yes geordieboy83, I was shocked when I saw both Raylor and Jonas on the pitch. Both have no pace left whatsoever. And Raylor’s set pieces are cack now as well. Why play both of them? Jonas gave it his all but Abeid is a stronger, more powerful player for the midfield. Carver is completely out of his depth.

  • GeordieTwo

    May 17, 2015 at 6:31 PM

    Comment #32

    Carver will push too many players up the pitch and we will be caught on the counter. Final score: 0-2. Last game with Johnny C. in charge. Might as well pack up now Carver.

  • Toonmania

    May 17, 2015 at 6:32 PM

    Comment #33

    I can see the headlines next week Williamson marks his return with an own goal after he forgot which direction he was going, And Mike Ashley calls Carver and says off you go on your holiday you get the job, you have until Christmas to prove yourself

  • geordieboy83

    May 17, 2015 at 6:32 PM

    Comment #34

    Geordie 2, I think the problem is the fact carver has a dislike of abeid as he has a sense of footballing knowledge on the field and tries to do things. And carver picks Jonas for fanfare to keep us on side. Same with raylor. That starting 11 I posted, (granted I’m not the best coach in the premier league) is more than good enough to hold its own against a large proportion of the league

  • BandB

    May 17, 2015 at 6:32 PM

    Comment #35


    Four of the starters yesterday came up with us from the Championship, and it would have likely been five if Willo hadn’t got himself an early bath.

  • Ian Toon

    May 17, 2015 at 6:33 PM

    Comment #36

    Mr Tuff – You can fool some of the people some of the time but your only fooling yourself by brazening it out on here.
    As you well know you have been advised by the RSPCA that you could be charged under the Protection of Animals Act 1911 or The cruelty to Animals Act 1876.
    Your neighbour was advised that a decision will be made within the next few weeks.

  • GeordieTwo

    May 17, 2015 at 6:39 PM

    Comment #37

    Spot on to both geordieboy83 and BandB. Carver is clueless. Several of the players still have some fight left in them but when they see the starting lineup they must groan. What on earth? We’re so lightweight up front. Having Cabella dancing around doing stepovers is pointless. And I couldn’t believe Cisse’s passing when he came on. Several balls were skied to the sidelines? Raylor is hopeless now after all the injuries. The defense on this team have needed replacing for 4 or 5 years now. Willo, Colo, and Saylor as the core? What a joke. Only a fool like Ashley and his pack of clowns would have left it that way.

  • BandB

    May 17, 2015 at 6:42 PM

    Comment #38


    I have been in touch with Tuff off the blog for a little while over the HWTF effort. I don’t know his name. How come you do?
    You also claimed to know JFA’s real name, and again, I don’t, despite having some dealings with him over time.
    You seem to do very well from chance meetings in pubs. Can you explain this?
    It is very intriguing.
    I am sure no-one would be horrid enough to invent stories like the one you have just told simply on the basis it is pretty much impossible to prove or disprove what you have claimed.
    I think you should name names or retract.

  • toon kk

    May 17, 2015 at 6:43 PM

    Comment #39

    Relegation has been coming ever since Cabaye was sold. It was obvious quite a few want out. It can’t be easy playing under a regime and a unsettled camp.
    Clubs do there best which ever league there in, MA has gambled and could easily pay a huge price.

  • GeordieTwo

    May 17, 2015 at 6:44 PM

    Comment #40

    That defense will get us in trouble in the Championship if we end up there. The replacement process should have started 4 years ago with Willo out. Then get rid of Steve Man of Glass Taylor. Then move Colo on. By now we should have a youngish group of CB’s but with several years of experience. Our fullbacks can be decent but what team lets the CB core collapse? Only morons like Ashley and Charnley, that’s who.

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