I just had breakfast with my son Neil – where we talked about who we need in this summer’s transfer window, and who would be a good manager for the side, and he pointed out that our April Fool’s hoax we published was fairly close to what Mike Ashley said in his Sky Sports interview last Sunday afternoon – one hour before our game against West Ham kicked off.
Mike Ashley and Lee Charnley on Sunday
Here’s some of the article we had put on April 1st – this is statement we said Mike Ashley had just posted on the Newcastle web site:
“Our results were released on Monday and show that the Club has become profitable, and we announced both record revenues of £129.7M and record profits of £18.7M.” Those are good figures and show we have managed the Club well financially.”
“However, we want to move to the next phase for Newcastle United now that we have fully stabilized the club financially.”
“Along with Managing Director Lee Charnley and Chief Scout Graham Carr and the new head coach when he arrives, we plan to make Newcastle successful on the pitch, as Lee Charnley alluded to on Monday is his statement accompanying the financial results.
“We also want to be more forthcoming and say that from now on, we want to challenge for the top six in the Premier league and be back in Europe again every season, as the Club was in the early 2000s.”
“Our aim is to now try to win a trophy for the Newcastle fans, and end the drought we have had since we won the Inter-City Fairs Cup in 1969, when Bob Moncur was captain and is now our official Ambassador for the club.”
“And that means we will be changing our policy and field strong sides in both the Capital One Cup and the FA Cup.”
“In order to do that our aim is to increase the quality of the squad and also to increase the relative size of it, so that we can compete initially on three fronts in England, and then on four fronts once we are back in Europe.”
“By necessity we have been frugal over the last few years in an effort to bring some much needed stability to the Club – but our aim now is to move forward and bring some success on the pitch for our fans.”
“That will start this summer when we will invest significantly in new players, and significant financial funds have already been allocated for this summer.”
“It’s been difficult over these last eight years, but now we should be able to bring some success to Newcastle United on the pitch.”
“That’s now our major goal moving forward – to make Newcastle United great again.”
Well that may be a little bit more positive than what Mike Ashley said – but it’s fairly close.
Here’s the original article that was titled “Ashley Statement – I Will Make Newcastle Great Again.”
Sometimes you get lucky.
🙂 🙂 🙂
And it’s interesting the last line of the article was:
Sorry if we raised your hopes – but you never know.
On the new had coach position, my son Neil thinks it will be Steve McClaren – but I’m hoping for Michael Laudrup – anybody but John Carver.