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It’s Vieira, McClaren Or Garde As The New Head Coach

4:07 pm, Monday, June 1st, 2015 by Dr. Ed Harrison · 155 Comments

The Chronicle are reporting today that the final three for the Newcastle head coach position are Patrick Vieira, Steve McClaren and Remi Garde, and presumably all three will have interviews this week,  and it’s then up to Lee Charnley to choose the successor to Alan Pardew, who left (very) quickly after the home game against Everton at the end of December.

Newcastle then went into almost a death dive into the Championship but we saved ourselves with a great 2-0 win at home to West Ham in the final game of the season.

remi garde

Remi Garde – back in the running

In the current betting on SkyBet, Vieira is 10/11 McClaren is evens (1/1) and Garde is listed at 12/1 who he is the rank outsider at the moment.

So it’s extremely close between McClaren and Vieira.

Vieira is yet to hold a head coach position so he would be a risk – but on a risk reward basis he could become a top coach in the future and he’s very well thought of at Manchester City.

Many in the game think he has everything it takes to become a top coach including Manchester City’s Football Administration Officer Marwood, who has allowed Patrick to learn the coaching game at his own pace over the last three years.

This is what Marwood said in the Telegraph last year about Patrick:

“That was one of the most valuable experiences he’s had in his whole professional career. It gave him an appreciation of what else made a football club, the hard work so many people are doing to try and make this club special.”

“He has such an interesting mix of characteristics in terms of football experience, life experience and there’s a humility about the man, a respect, a calmness, a thoroughness in terms of his preparations.”

“I’ve seen the detail he works to. He’s tough but it’s done with a velvet glove.” “I’ve watched him very carefully, and stayed close to him, because I really believe he has a fantastic future in the game.”

Patrick has grabbed the headlines over the weekend as he came from 35/1 to odds on favorite in a couple of days so there’s big money being placed on him.

49 year-old Remi Garde did very well indeed at Lyon where he was manager for three years and left on his own accord about a year ago,  to take a sabbatical and he has been a pundit on French TV over the last year.

His record at Lyon was managed 117 games, won 60, drew 26 and lost 31 for a win ratio of 51.3%

Remi was at Arsenal from 1996 through 1999 as a player as he finished his playing career, and he was schooled in the Arsene Wenger school of management.

Garde has shown he can get the very best out of players at Lyon, and a few years back he was linked with the Director of Football role at Arsenal.

Remi brought through Alexandre Lacazette and others while at Lyon – and that’s a key part of the Newcastle job, and he  was in the running in January and would want to bring in his own coaching staff, if reports are to be believed.

54 year-old Steve McClaren is the most experienced and oldest of the three, and has been in coaching since 1995 and spent two years at Manchester United as the assistant to Sir Alex Ferguson.

Steve has been the head coach at five clubs – Middlesbrough, FC Twente (twice), Wolfsburg, Nottingham Forest and Derby County – but has been fired from the last three of them – although he did well initially at Derby County.

He had success while  he was in Holland with FC Twente, and he took Middlesbrough to their first trophy in their history when they won the League Cup in 2004 beating Bolton 2-1 in the final.

He also took Middlesbrough to the UEFA Cup Final in 2006, only to lose to Sevilla 4-0 in the final in Eindhoven.

Steve also had a disastrous spell as the England manager, but he is highly thought of as a coach in the game.

But we just haven’t seen in his record much that would say he would be successful at Newcastle – but he does have support among some Newcastle fans.

The thing going for him is that Graham Carr is said to want him at the club.

So there’s a mini-profile on the three candidates.

In our poll between McClaren and Vieira there were a massive 97% of fans in favor of Patrick Vieira – but with there now being three final contenders let us know ho you would like as head coach.

Who Do Your Want As Newcastle's New Head Coach?

View Results

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Comments welcome.

Tags: Coaching · Head coach · Management · Newcastle News · Poll · Premier League

155 responses so far ↓

  • 1 JamesToon // Jun 1, 2015 at 4:13 PM

    why isn’t laudrup/bielsa/de boer on the shortlist???

  • 2 HarriboNo9 // Jun 1, 2015 at 4:13 PM


  • 3 Our Toon // Jun 1, 2015 at 4:14 PM

    Has to be Garde, Viera has zero experience….what’s all the excitement about with him. Have I missed something?

  • 4 Our Toon // Jun 1, 2015 at 4:16 PM

    James Toon

    Completely agree with you mate, have you seen the names being linked to west ham…We have to settle for a complete novice in viera or an idiot in mcclaren. Garde isn’t a bad option but surely if Ashley was serious about winning something then he’d look at the ones you’ve mentioned

  • 5 Graeme // Jun 1, 2015 at 4:17 PM

    Head says Garde, Heart says Vieira.

    Either will be a huge improvement on what we have had at any time under Ashley.

  • 6 shay Robson // Jun 1, 2015 at 4:21 PM

    just looking around, all clubs have them. are you guys saying the big man doess it all? he is just the owner i want to know who works for him in both the bard and executive board.

    Chelsea Ltd.

    Owner: Roman Abramovich
    Chelsea F.C. plc

    Chairman: Bruce Buck
    Directors: Marina Granovskaia and Eugene Tenenbaum
    Executive Board

    Finance and Operations Director: Chris Alexander
    Club Secretary: David Barnard
    Company secretary: Alan Shaw
    Directors: Marina Granovskaia and Eugene Tenenbaum
    Chelsea Football Club Board:

    Bruce Buck
    Eugene Tenenbaum
    Head of global commercial activities: Christian Purslow[155]
    David Barnard
    Football operations director: Mike Forde
    Technical director: Michael Emenalo


    Board of Directors[edit]
    Position Name
    Owner/Chairman Ellis Short
    Chief Executive Margaret Byrne
    Finance Director Angela Lowes
    Commercial Director Gary Hutchinson
    Director Per Magnus Andersson
    Sporting Director Lee Congerton


    Position Name Nationality
    Owners Tony Fernandes
    Lakshmi Mittal Malaysian
    Chairman Tony Fernandes Malaysian
    Vice-Chairman Amit Bhatia Indian
    Board Members Tony Fernandes Malaysian
    Amit Bhatia Indian
    Kamarudin Meranun Malaysian
    CEO Lee Hoos American
    COO Mark Donnelly English

    where is the info on the men in charge and running NEWCASTLE UNITED??

  • 7 JamesToon // Jun 1, 2015 at 4:22 PM

    Our toon

    West ham’s supposed shortlist:
    De boer (would love him)
    Bielsa (would love him)
    Unai Emery
    Slaven Billic

    Laudrup and Garde better be the top 2 candidates who we go all out to get.

  • 8 JamesToon // Jun 1, 2015 at 4:23 PM

    We do need a DOF/sporting director, someone who knows the club through and through and knows football and business through and through, aka ferdinand/keegan

  • 9 cyprus // Jun 1, 2015 at 4:25 PM

    a tip. There must be about ten people in line for the job, so every couple days there’ll be a new name in the hat. Relax, sit back, wait.

    Thought no one but JC wants this job 😉

  • 10 BandB // Jun 1, 2015 at 4:26 PM

    Ian Dennis is a cautious, well-connected journalist who has been around Newcastle United since before a fair few of you were born.
    If he has a steer that Garde is out of the running, I wouldn’t bet on him at 100-1with someone else’s money.
    Carver is more likely to get the job.

  • 11 JDdubai // Jun 1, 2015 at 4:27 PM

    To be honest, at least its not JC im relatively happy with that.

    Garde would be first choice as long as he gets to bring in his own backroom team, then Vieira then McClaren.

    Even McClaren is better than the prospect of JC though which my tormented mind still pictures us rnding up with..

  • 12 Polarboy // Jun 1, 2015 at 4:29 PM

    Ian Dennis is saying that Garde isn’t on the list. If it’s between Ryder and Dennis on who to believe then I know who I’ll go with. If we are to go by the betting then Laudrup is likely the third candidate.

    Of course the cynical side of me questions just how serious the “football board” are about going for someone who will truly take us forward.

  • 13 hibbit // Jun 1, 2015 at 4:29 PM

    cyprus McLaren must not want it he has turned us down 3 times why do we keep going back

  • 14 cyprus // Jun 1, 2015 at 4:29 PM

    under Ashley we had KK. No one is better than that mate, maybe Guardiola 😉

  • 15 BandB // Jun 1, 2015 at 4:31 PM


    Have you got something in your eye?

  • 16 swemag // Jun 1, 2015 at 4:32 PM

    Man…brings back memories from last year…it can be expected to be announced by the end of this week.

    Last year that week turned out to be more like a month.

    On another note, I remember being cautiously optimistic at the start of the season last year with the signings we had done. Specifically with de Jong. That didn’t turn out too well. Nothing did.

  • 17 cyprus // Jun 1, 2015 at 4:34 PM

    Agreed there. I want someone who is desperate to come here AND succeed.

    Would love KK as D O F. When he was asked what went wrong with MA and him, he thought a while and answered ‘too many people in between’. I think I know who he meant 🙂

  • 18 BandB // Jun 1, 2015 at 4:35 PM


    It has been reported today that it could be Friday if things go well.
    But also that it could be the middle of June before an announcement was made.

  • 19 optimistic prime // Jun 1, 2015 at 4:35 PM

    Mclaren got sacked from his last 3 jobs.
    He’s a cert

  • 20 Our Toon // Jun 1, 2015 at 4:36 PM

    Welcome to Newcastle Untied a club where expectations have been well and truly managed. The response of many seems to be at least it’s not carver or mcclaren. Would we all have accepted a complete novice like Viera before Ashley?

  • 21 shay Robson // Jun 1, 2015 at 4:36 PM

    I guess its only mike and lee who run the club every day?

  • 22 cyprus // Jun 1, 2015 at 4:36 PM

    No that’s a wink 😉 You know

  • 23 lesh // Jun 1, 2015 at 4:37 PM

    Ah well, we know which way this is going to go.

    Viera’s his own man and probably won’t take kindly to having players sold from under him;

    Remy Garde could be a good un but he’ll want to bring his own backroom staff. The drawback there is that there’s no-one to develop into HC for when a HC leaves – succession planning. It would mean recruiting a coach as we know that Mr Carver isn’t up to it. And, would he take kindly to having players sold from under him?

    Steve McLaren – experienced and probably happy to toe Ashley’s ludicrous line!

    So, McLaren it is – unless Charnley’s tried and succeeded in persuading Ashley to change his ways about selling top players.

    This is a crucial decision and any announcement needs to show ambition to take the club forward.

    So, I’m not going to hold my breath for that.

  • 24 BandB // Jun 1, 2015 at 4:38 PM


    Well, it’s nice to know one of your eyes is open 😉

  • 25 Our Toon // Jun 1, 2015 at 4:39 PM

    James Toon

    Unai Emery is a top coach/manager, just won the Europa League twice in a row, defended the title this year!! Did a class job at Valencia, lost players like Villa and Silva but still finished 3rd.

  • 26 cyprus // Jun 1, 2015 at 4:42 PM

    That’s usually how it works 😉

  • 27 BandB // Jun 1, 2015 at 4:43 PM

    Lovely…I worried it was a twitch.

  • 28 ilovetoon8788 // Jun 1, 2015 at 4:46 PM

    Just look at the names linked with the West ham job and us. I’m shocked. Have we fallen so low? We have been stuck with mcclaren being favorite for the job for about 5 months now and hoddle redknapp and what nots..

    While biesla, De boer are linked with west ham. Amazing.

  • 29 shay Robson // Jun 1, 2015 at 4:47 PM


    Board Members & Directors
    Role Person
    Chairman Thailand Vichai Srivaddhanaprabha
    Vice Chairman Thailand Aiyawatt Srivaddhanaprabha
    Vice Chairman China Shilai Liu
    Chief Executive Republic of Ireland Susan Whelan
    Executive Director Thailand Supornthip Choungrangsee
    Executive Director Scotland Malcolm Stewart-Smith
    Director Of Football England Jon Rudkin
    Football Operations Director England Andrew Neville
    Finance Director England Simon Capper
    Operations Director England Kevin Barclay

    No one has been able to tell me who is running NEWCASTLE UNITED. to say its mike alone is definitely not the case….

  • 30 armchair fan // Jun 1, 2015 at 4:48 PM

    Man I wish I was Vieira

  • 31 cyprus // Jun 1, 2015 at 4:49 PM

    Your upset? Let me see why…

    Maybe you thought my first wink was photographing you? The comment about only JC wanting the job? You said that? Had no idea. Anyway, no offense meant.

  • 32 BandB // Jun 1, 2015 at 4:52 PM


    Do you think MClaren could have gone from turning us down twice to wanting to take the job knowing he’s the choice of only four cent of fans?
    I would run away if I was him.

  • 33 JAMSHA(CARVER SLAYER) // Jun 1, 2015 at 4:59 PM

    viera as manager? no…he needs to start from.low 1st..cnt take a big jump at a big club




  • 34 nightfa11 // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:00 PM

    why does anyone want laudrup (out of all possibilites) i do not know..

    many people complain about his work ethics..
    “swansea” played well under him – he inherited the squad from rodgers..swansea were nowhere, until rodgers arrived..

    im not saying laudrup is a bad manager, but hes nothing special (yet?).. better than carver and mclaren, but so is 99% of managers..(except for pardew and big sam 🙂 )

    personally i wouldt mind to see shola as an assistant..he can be a bit of a donkey with a ball in his feet, but hes quite intelligent..

  • 35 shay Robson // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:01 PM

    Chief executive Lee Charnley


  • 36 John Tudor // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:03 PM

    Head says Garde, Heart says Vieira Charmless says Mclaren

  • 37 BandB // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:04 PM

    Heart says Vieira
    Head says Ashley Out!

  • 38 dok - the horrid colonial // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:06 PM

    if we can have jfk here 2x, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if McLaren got it…

    and I will throw up in my mouth if that happens… thus disproving Ashley’s statement he made previous to our last game…

  • 39 Mag52 // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:07 PM

    Our Toon.

    The excitement about Viera is, I suppose, the fact that he would represent a choice totally out of character with the Ashley norm, and thus, even if he doesn’t work out, an indication that there is, at last, more ambition in the club to have a go at a bit of silverware.

  • 40 dok - the horrid colonial // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:07 PM


    your hands should also be pushing Ashley off the cliffs of Dover as well 😉

  • 41 nightfa11 // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:08 PM

    shola – assistant anyone?

  • 42 shay Robson // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:08 PM


  • 43 JamesToon // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:09 PM

    Our toon

    Unai Emery is now apparently going to napoli, west ham can’t get past first round of talks with de boer, while bilic is apparently the only one on their shortlist who’s pretty much accepted the job, not sure about Bielsa-i’d like us to try for him, very innovative and unique

  • 44 BandB // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:10 PM


    That is exactly it.
    It’s a signpost pointing down two completely different paths.
    The choice couldn’t be clearer.
    Whichever one he takes will answer a lot of questions.

  • 45 check the toastie // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:11 PM

    It comes down to one thing and one thing only with the Fatman and that’s money. Pardew left as he was relatively paid buttons, the new man will be offered the same.

    This wage will insult Veira, he is out of the running and soon as its discussed, it will be announced shortly no doubt, Maclaren is now desperate and wont have been on much cash since his England disaster, he will accept the shite deal maybe that the kiss ass Charnley will offer him.

    The rest of this speculation regards Veira is bullshit.

    Maclaren is nailed on if he wants the job, there is no guarantee of that, the club will lurch from one no mark to another until somebody accepts the shit deal laid on the table. Owen Coyle or Glenn Hoddle maybe.

  • 46 Our Toon // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:11 PM


    How would it indicate there is more ambition now within the club? What has Viera done in management?

    If Viera gets the job its because hes the cheapest option, if the regime had truly turned the corner you’d see names like De Boer, Unai Emery etc being bandied about. Viera as a player was class, Viera as a manager is erm…..a complete novice just like Shearer was!!

  • 47 JamesToon // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:15 PM

    our toon 43

    i think the main point mag52is making is that Vieira isn’t another mcclaren or pardew aka. someone that ashley/charnley knows, i’d be happy with vieira with new signings AS LONG as we tried for laudrup/de boer/bielsa/garde etc. because i would prefer all of them ahead of vieira.

  • 48 check the toastie // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:16 PM

    Wish people would just have a little reality check.

    Patrick Veira will not be coming to the club.

    Its rotten the way its run, Carver would have been finished by now if Ashley had any desire to move the club forward. He hasn’t as he see’s it as a business and a business only, it will continue to be ran with total apathy.

    How stupid and Gullible most folk are. Veira…pfffttt….

  • 49 beermonkey // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:17 PM

    we all know wages are a big expense for any company not just a football club was just looking around the companies house page and found the info below a couple of things struck me the big staff increase in 2012 any1 know why ????

    and then if we ignore the peak we have more or less halved the number of staff we have over the last few years which is huge where else have they been losing staff from

    Number of Employees_______Year

    shay robson
    ur not gonna find what u want I don’t think we employ people in those positions
    charnley carr head coach sort out players charnley and finance bloke pay for them
    charnley runs day to day stuff
    big mike has final say over all that’s about it

  • 50 YouCouldn'tMakeItUp // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:19 PM

    I’ve gine for Garde, but just in a whim really. To be honest, I would take any of these three. Viera untested, but so was Keegan. At least it looks like charver is out of the running

  • 51 check the toastie // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:19 PM

    Our Toon – Shearer was a complete novice, Veira is not, this has been demonstrated by many well thought of opinions within the game.

    He has a wealth of experience whilst being at Man City, Shearer was that inexperienced he got Iain Dowie to put the cones out for him. He will never have took a training session never mind set a team up to win a game. Shearer was in too deep but did it out of love for the club and was then shit on by Fatty.

    Don’t compare the two its so wide of the mark.

  • 52 GeordieTwo // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:20 PM

    We need Shuhrat.

  • 53 GeordieTwo // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:21 PM

    Shuhrat can work with Ashley. If not, then he’ll probably bite Ashley and kick him in the balls. It’s a win-win for us. 😯

  • 54 GeordieTwo // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:23 PM

    Would Viera do that for us? I think not.

  • 55 GeordieTwo // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:24 PM

    If not Shuhrat, then it’s got to be Eddie Howe.

  • 56 shay Robson // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:26 PM


    do you not find it odd that you said ‘finance bloke’ ? we have no idea who is on the board that make major decisions. that is disturbing. to think that Lee does all the work running the club basically alone is insane. there are peiople that make the choicees on managers and marketing, public relations, finance and we have no idea who they are.

  • 57 GeordieTwo // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:27 PM

    A good man is only going to last about half a season with us anyway. By then he will be hating his job as Ashley won’t provide proper funds or management support. Charnley is useless. Getting a decent “heed coach” won’t work unless there is a proper structure around him.

  • 58 Lindisfarne // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:27 PM

    Can Anthony Joshuas next bout be against Mike Ashley?

  • 59 Our Toon // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:27 PM

    So what has viera done at citeh then? What’s the last youngster he bought through for them? Is he any different to Beardsley who currently has a similar role here?

  • 60 GeordieTwo // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:31 PM

    Instead of a “heed coach” perhaps we need a coach with a big heed? Someone who can really stot anyone who crosses him? Someone deeply bloody narsty with a temper to boot. That’s why I want Shuhrat for the job.

  • 61 beermonkey // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:34 PM

    shay robson

    I say finance bloke it was john irving but he and his no2 have quit irving to Newcastle airport and the other whose name I cant remember has gone to city

    there are other people but not on the board as far as I am aware
    like pr is a lady called wendy

    as far as I know directors at the mo since irving left is charnley and Ashley I am sure some1 will replace irving
    like any other company all other dept will have managers and all will report to charnley they don’t have to be on the directors list and it would appear there names are not common knowledge

  • 62 GeordieTwo // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:34 PM

    Will Ashley even be able to find a good finance director? We’ll probably end up with one of his pinhead friends from down south. Another yes man for the board no doubt.

  • 63 why oh why // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:36 PM

    Viera for me
    The thought of him as our mgr excites me
    He just be the man to actually do something with us
    If not him then garde
    McLaren oh Christ no no no
    Let him go to the shite hawks

  • 64 GeordieTwo // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:37 PM

    Wendy Taylor and Lee Marshall. She makes up the bollocks to give to the press and he nods his head and says “oh yeah Wendy baby”.

  • 65 BigB75 // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:38 PM

    G2 — I’m with you SHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURAT!!!!!!!

  • 66 YouCouldn'tMakeItUp // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:38 PM

    All three have something going for them..

    Viera… Not tested, but has worked under decent managers at citeh. He was never i stupid player so i am sure he will have learned a thing or two. Also, he isnt JC.

    Shteve…. yeah his recent record hasn’t been great, but overall its decent. England fans only think he’s an idiot because the media say so, but i am happy to say i am intelligent enough to see through their inane prattle. They do the same to hodgeson, who has a 100% record so far in the euro quals. Shteeve, like Viera, is not JC

    Garde… from what i have read and heard, seems to do well bringing the young uns through. This is key to NUFC success atm, and probably why I favour him over the others. Also isn’t JC

  • 67 GeordieTwo // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:40 PM

    Don’t let yourself get too excited why oh why mate. Wait to see who we actually get. The club still hasn’t done anything at all yet. We’ve got about 6 weeks until training camp opens. You would think they would be in a bit more of a hurry given what a disaster we are.

  • 68 GeordieTwo // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:41 PM

    WASUP BigB75 mate!!!! We want Shuhrat!!!! Give him to us Ashley or we’ll fong you in your narsty little balls!!!!

  • 69 BigB75 // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:41 PM

    JC could always be the assistant to the assistant to the assistant that cleans the toilet. what you guys think?

  • 70 armchair fan // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:43 PM


    Could Pards pass as a big heed?

    Could get him back in the centre mid, heck put him on against Meyler and we might see some proper Allardyce football with headbutts flying everywhere

  • 71 BigB75 // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:43 PM

    Nothing much G2… just enjoying England weather here in Boston, trying to make a dollar to give it back to good old uncle SAM.

  • 72 GeordieTwo // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:43 PM

    And don’t forget one more YCMIU mate:
    Shuhrat…. loves a bit of the narsty business. Gets into to it with the officials and both teams’ players. We won’t be a bunch of pansies under this man.

  • 73 shay Robson // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:44 PM


    all other premiership clubs list the board. sometimes 5-8 members plus people in roles of marketing, pr, finance etc. I seem to remember Ashley stating that the appointment will be the boards responsibility as he heads many businesses. i guess he ius just the wealthy guy in the background. my point is he is responsible and i would like to know who is really running the club day to day and ultimately who is interviewing. i find it hard to believe that ther are only 2 peiople running the club and that information is so hard to come by.

  • 74 Munster Mag // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:44 PM

    Schteve all day long but wud love viera. He will have to do a stunning interview to beat mcclaren.

  • 75 Our Toon // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:45 PM

    Anyone tell me what viera has done at citeh? What youngsters has he bought through.

    If he’s so highly rated why are they letting him leave? Why isn’t he replacing pellegrini?

    Who’s next….Edgar David’s, Jimmy Floyd Hassilbank

  • 76 YouCouldn'tMakeItUp // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:45 PM


    Ok… add Shuhrat is added to the vote i will change to him

  • 77 Munster Mag // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:46 PM

    I cant understand why we cant meet bilic etc? I presume he doesnt like the ashley model. Neither will viera if they stick to it.

  • 78 GeordieTwo // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:48 PM

    No, not Percy armchair mate. We need vicious new blood from the continent. Somebody to terrorize Charnley. Somebody who doesn’t speak English. Somebody who isn’t afraid of Ashley. The man. The legend. SHUHRAT!!!!

  • 79 BigB75 // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:49 PM

    Shuhrat is the only way that we can win Anything. because the fat F*&ker that’s there now will never leave as he will never win anything. I hate to think this way, as i consider myself a very positive person, but this regime is really killing me. I will not believe anymore of there BS they are trying to sell us. Believe you me, i hope im wrong and there is a miracle.

  • 80 GeordieTwo // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:49 PM

    I would be happy with Pink Floyd but not Jimmy Floyd Our Toon mate. It Anuva Brick in the Wall mate.

  • 81 YouCouldn'tMakeItUp // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:50 PM

    Our toon

    Thing is,at citeh, we will never see how the youngsters get on. The first team is full of superstars who probably have to play when fit to justify the mental fees paid. Viera is a gamble, but we know mash likes to gamble on a cheap deal. Viera is basically coming here as an unknown quantity. Mught work. Might not. (If he comes of course)

  • 82 YouCouldn'tMakeItUp // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:52 PM


    Yeah i never believe anything that comes out of the Pie Monsters mouth until it actually happens.

  • 83 GeordieTwo // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:52 PM

    Yes spot on BigB75 mate! And believe me you that he is nothing but a narsty fat liar. I’m not leaving until we win something! Bloody bollocks with cheese on it! That means he’ll never leave as we have zero chance of winning something under him! Harrumph. Unbloody believable.

  • 84 Our Toon // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:53 PM


    I was being sarcastic about Jimmy n Edgar but Jimmy did win division 2 that’s more than viera experience

  • 85 BigB75 // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:53 PM

    I want “ABC”

    “Anyone but Carver”

  • 86 BandB // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:53 PM

    Steve will get the job if all that’s on offer is the pit that Pardew escaped from.
    All we know for certain is that he’s turned us down twice, hardly anyone wants him, and the Carver will still be involved somehow.
    Clearly a lot of people still believe the case for Ashley being a tight-arse, two-faced toe-rag isn’t proven.
    Let optimism reign.

  • 87 TheToonKing // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:54 PM

    Ok, someone please enlighten me. What’s so good about Vieira ? He’s got no experience whatsoever, not Premier League , not nothing….

  • 88 YouCouldn'tMakeItUp // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:55 PM


    But…..but…..but….. he SAID so on telly!!! It must be true 😀

  • 89 BigB75 // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:57 PM

    TTK, Vieira is better then what we have now!!! which is shit, with a cherry on top

  • 90 YouCouldn'tMakeItUp // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:57 PM


    A totally unknown quantity. It might work out like Keegan, or it might work out like whatever the opposite is 😀

  • 91 YouCouldn'tMakeItUp // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:58 PM


    I would argue that we don’t even have the cherry.

  • 92 GeordieTwo // Jun 1, 2015 at 5:59 PM

    BandB is correct! Let the good times begin! Despite the bloody bollocks with cheese on it from the club we will no doubt bring in a top, top man. Someone with a brolly. Someone near and dear to Graham Carr who will feel sorry for Johnny C. and keep him on in some capacity. Beautiful. Harrumph.

  • 93 BigB75 // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:00 PM

    YCMIU, sorry i forget to mention that it is a rotten cherry!!!

  • 94 Our Toon // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:00 PM


    Citeh poached Birgirstan (wrong spelling from barca, they wanted to create the same model at citeh. Appointed viera as there Guardiola type character, bring players through and eventually take the top job.

    Citeh have fielded weaker teams in the cups, where are the lads viera has been tasked with bringing through? They aren’t good enough.

  • 95 YouCouldn'tMakeItUp // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:01 PM

    Breaking News!!!

    Carver to be retained as Director of Swearing.

  • 96 YouCouldn'tMakeItUp // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:01 PM

    I nearly put a typo through that said “Director of Sweating”. That may have been funnier,actually

  • 97 GeordieTwo // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:03 PM

    You see, the thing about Viera is that he’s very tall ToonKing mate. We’ve never had a very tall head coach before so we thought we’d try that on for size. Somebody for the players to look up to you see? It’s all very complicated but Lee has it sussed for us mate.

  • 98 GeordieTwo // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:04 PM

    And Wendy Taylor has always had a thing for Viera as well.

  • 99 ToonFromLeeds // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:05 PM

    Remie wanted to leave

  • 100 YouCouldn'tMakeItUp // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:06 PM

    Our toon

    Yeah, thats a fair argument. I am not really in disagreement tbh, but like i say, i think it’s difficult to really know what viera is really capable of. For all we know, citeh might not bother scouting decent kids due to their abundance of cash to buy ready made upgrades. As i said, he’s a big gamble.

  • 101 Our Toon // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:06 PM

    Expectations have been managed, comments like he’s better than what we’ve got!! We have no one so anything would be better than what we’ve got, including McClaren does that mean we settle for him?

  • 102 YouCouldn'tMakeItUp // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:06 PM


    Ah right,thats fair enough 😀

  • 103 TheToonKing // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:06 PM

    @GeordieTwo that makes complete sense. All aboard the Viera train !. Plus he’s French so that works out as well.

  • 104 GloucesterGeordie // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:07 PM

    On sky sports news saying they are to hear from Jonas Gutierrez and Ryan Taylor as they hit out at newcastle. Be very interesting to see what’s said here!

  • 105 ToonFromLeeds // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:07 PM

    YCMIU director of swearing whilst sweating maybe?

  • 106 BandB // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:08 PM


    I’m all for giving him a chance on the basis of that.
    But his main message was “I’m not going to sell up” and “I don’t pick the manager.”
    He promised no extra money and expressed a vague hope to win something.
    So what he seems be saying is “I’m not leaving, but I want to win something before I do.”
    Isn’t that an Ashleyball?

    We’ve lived on promises for eight years.
    What did he do different this time?
    Cross his heart and hope to die?

  • 107 GeordieTwo // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:08 PM

    My expectations have not been managed Our Toon mate. There has to be proper feedback at the club. Rewards for success, punishment for failure. I could be put in charge of that. Following any loss the head coach will be made an example of by having a honey badger dropped into his underpants. It’s only for the good of the club mind.

  • 108 Pokat // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:09 PM

    I think Lee Charnley fills the post of Sweating Director. In fact he fills it quite amply by the look. He’s big boned though. Or so I hear.

  • 109 BigB75 // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:10 PM

    I hate to pick on the guy…. but like myself carver should be NOOOO where near a training facility, never mind a pitch on game day! i saw just about every game this season, and there where times where the team played as if they forgot Carver was on the pitch and common sense football tactics flowed back in there brains for about 20 mins. Then there was the games where U21 teams would eat us for lunch!

    That is why to me “ABC” is better then the shit we have now!

  • 110 Jail for Ashley // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:10 PM

    Ashley has learned his lesson, that relegation scare really shocked him, he’s a winner in everything else, this summer will really show what he has planned for us, who wants overpaid ageing stars, look how cheap tickets are, who’d want to be like Chelsea anyway.

  • 111 Our Toon // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:10 PM


    Why would they spend a quarter of a billion on new youth facilities and the likes then?

    To me all this viera love fest is down to what he was as a player, I waiting for a pro viera contributer on here to inform me why they think he’s the right choice and what he’s achieved at Citeh. So far I haven’t heard anything, Hassilbank has done more in management than Viera doesn’t mean we should get him but this apparent rebuilding process needs to be given to someone who has experience not paddy viera

  • 112 Pokat // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:11 PM

    Geordie,Two are we saying we should go down the Motivation Trainer route. ” The beatings will continue until morale improves” and all that?

  • 113 ToonFromLeeds // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:12 PM

    So we are playing a Mexican side in America? ok then!

  • 114 BigB75 // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:12 PM

    THAT”S IT G2!!!!!!

    SHUHRAT and the Honey-badger as his number 2

  • 115 YouCouldn'tMakeItUp // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:12 PM

    Our toon

    Not everyone hates the idea of shteve. Cant think hes many peoples first choice, but there are many who are a lot worse imo. He is a realistic if not stellar apointment

  • 116 Pokat // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:13 PM

    it’s fun to stay at the
    YCMIU- U

  • 117 GeordieTwo // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:15 PM

    Your beloved Official Club Journo has brought some new Ashley nuggets to light:
    “I would sell up but I hate those bloody Geordies. I hate them I tell you. I’m going to stay and make them suffer. They deserve it. And I don’t fondle my budgies!!!”
    “This whole owning a football club thing is a lark you know? You can mess with people’s heads. You can really drive them mad. Promise them silverware. Then hire a tw@t as head coach and spend about 2 quid on players. It’s just so much fun. I’ll never give it up.”
    Just a couple of gems from Mike. 😯

  • 118 YouCouldn'tMakeItUp // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:17 PM


    “ASHLEYBALL” I like that 😀

    Yeah he has broken so many promises and has had so many last chances. We can live in hope he finally means it, but i doubt many of us our holding our breath.

  • 119 one fine day // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:17 PM

    Do nut get the fascination with laudrup.
    Won a cup at Swansea but with Rodgers side.
    Apparently more arrogant than Pardue and when it gets tough he walks.lost the dressing room too and before he left Swansea were awful but he blamed everyone else sound familiar?
    Seems to think he is a lot better than he actually is.
    Ask Swansea fans what they think of him
    Coach vieira. DOF Garde carver n stone off to rangers job done
    Garde experience with the youth set up fantastic and there to help vieira make the transition .
    Or we get Maclaren n carver and that will be me done like

  • 120 shay Robson // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:17 PM

    Jail for ashley

    you know everything…

    who is on the board for NEWCASTLE UNITED?
    marketing, finance, public relations, technical director etc?

  • 121 YouCouldn'tMakeItUp // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:18 PM


    They spend money coz they can 😀
    It’s a status symbol for the club. I just doubt they are that bothered if the kids actually make it. The fact they have state of the art training for them is just to make them look good, imo

  • 122 GeordieTwo // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:19 PM

    Yes!!! Oh yes Pokat @112!!! Finally someone on here who really understands me!!! It’s not just about fun for honey badgers as such. It’s about the learning curve. It’s about a head coach who understands what the consequences of failure are. Beautiful.

  • 123 BandB // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:19 PM


    It’s like Murderball.
    Except it takes six months to pick the winner.

  • 124 bladeuser // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:19 PM

    Taylor was told over the phone by carver his contract was not being renewed then told to pass the phone to jonas and he was told the same
    how tacky and embarassing is this pathetic club

  • 125 jane // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:20 PM

    ” i find it hard to believe that ther are only 2 peiople running the club and that information is so hard to come by.”

    maybe consultants are used a lot?

  • 126 YouCouldn'tMakeItUp // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:22 PM


    Young man, theres no need to feel down,
    Young man, a new manager’s in town, and he’s
    Hopeless, we got the big run around,
    From the big…. fat…. b@s….tard
    (Bam bam bam) its fun to stay at the….et.c

  • 127 Pokat // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:22 PM

    Blade user it was the manly way to handle the situation. Carver isn’t up to speed on texting or he would have done that, shame really that would have added a nice classy touch I think.

  • 128 GeordieTwo // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:23 PM

    Possibly it’s time to re-state the benefits of bringing Shuhrat in:
    1. Hates to lose. Often takes his anger out on the opposing side’s players.
    2. Doesn’t speak English so can’t spout any bollocks after losses.
    3. Back to point 1 again. There won’t actually be any losses.
    4. Will get what he wants in the way of players in. Carr won’t dare say no to him.
    5. Willing to get stuck in and give the managing director a good fonging if he won’t cooperate.
    What more could we ask for?

  • 129 shay Robson // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:23 PM


    a business as big as NEWCASTLE UNITED could not be run by a majority of consultants. if so it has not worked.

  • 130 Pokat // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:23 PM

    Jns soz m8 ur oot xoxo carvs

  • 131 Our Toon // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:24 PM

    Wow what a shambolic way to tell 2 senior pros especially one who kept us up

    YCMIU – Mansoor is ensuring citeh have the foundations to look internally like barca it’s openly been discussed in media hence why he’s bought in the people to ensure this happens

  • 132 YouCouldn'tMakeItUp // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:25 PM


    Not sure i would want to be the winner of Ashleyball. Can’t think the prize is worth while :-/

  • 133 ToonFromLeeds // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:26 PM

    Horrid treatment

  • 134 GeordieTwo // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:27 PM

    With Shuhrat, letting a player go is much simpler.
    1. Point at said player and scream “Out dirty dog!!!” (His first 3 words of English.)
    2. Go to said player’s locker, throw his belongings on the floor, burn them, and then pee on the ashes.
    3. Escort said player to front gates, point said player at the Strawberry and give him a good start with a kick up the backside.

  • 135 YouCouldn'tMakeItUp // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:28 PM

    Our toon

    Well, like i say,not really arguing against what you say,i just see the situation the same way as the Keegan (first time) situation. We have no idea how it will work out.

    Basically, i still favour Garde due to what i have read and heard

  • 136 WLtoon // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:28 PM

    Ile put my house on Maclaren getting the job,
    Ashley will get drift of the fact that we do not want Maclaren so there you go. Welcome Steve, you do know you are,nt wanted by the fans but who gives a shit, you will be a yes man for Ashley and basically thats all that counts.

  • 137 Pokat // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:31 PM

    Btw rlr 2 l&k’s bcitpl

  • 138 GeordieTwo // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:32 PM

    That’s well said WLtoon mate. You really understand the Ashley Way. But Shuhrat is cheaper so I’m staying with my man from Uzbekistan.

  • 139 BandB // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:33 PM


    I don’t see how Ashley can sort out the problem when their is a mountain of evidence suggesting he IS the problem.

    Even the news emerging tonight has his style stamped all over it.

    Clearly he didn’t walk off the telly with his “new broom” and instruct Carver to handle the disposal of one senior and one much-loved player with tact and sensitivity.

  • 140 Belfast // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:34 PM

    Well at least that explains why Ryan Taylor was starting week in week out.

    Him and Carver are good mates.

  • 141 Pokat // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:35 PM

    First and last thing Ashley got rid of after he went off camera was that damn nuisance tie!

  • 142 YouCouldn'tMakeItUp // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:36 PM

    Blade, our toon, tfl

    Truely classless from nufc. As expected i suppose

  • 143 GeordieTwo // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:36 PM

    Was Obertan not near the phone as well? Surely Johnny C. could have given him the chop? But wait, no, his contract hasn’t expired so we will continue to pay him for doing nothing. Or whatever it is he actually does.

  • 144 Our Toon // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:37 PM


    Nothing has changed buddy the fat controller duped the masses!!

  • 145 Pokat // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:37 PM

    Belfast I think they just wanted to see if “steel knees” could still do the business. The phone call apparently answered that question. Still I think they could have at least investigated his sell on value. Might get a good few quid if they weighed him in you don’t know.

  • 146 GeordieTwo // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:37 PM

    Does anybody know what Obertan actually does at the club? I’ve been wondering for years now.

  • 147 GeordieTwo // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:39 PM

    And what about Willo? What does he do? Is it backroom related stuff? Does he help with the laundry? I’m still not clear.

  • 148 GeordieTwo // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:40 PM

    And what about Saylor? When he’s not fit I mean? Which is almost all of the time really. What does he do?

  • 149 BandB // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:42 PM


    Whenever I’ve seen him recently he’s been collecting tickets 🙂

  • 150 GeordieTwo // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:45 PM

    Is that Obertan you mean BandB mate? And they’re only paying him 40K a week? Life isn’t fair at all.

  • 151 BandB // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:49 PM


    I know Obie used to fill in his spare time visiting schools.
    Children would ask him what it was like to be a footballer, and he’d say he had no idea.

  • 152 GeordieTwo // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:53 PM

    Ah yes, that makes more sense BandB. And Saylor and Andy Carroll have opened a nice spa for semi-retired footballers recovering from injury apparently.

  • 153 GeordieTwo // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:56 PM

    Just think of the type of head coach we’re going to attract with the wonderful talent just mentioned at the club. It dazzling really. Willo, Obertan, Saylor. Even Gouffy and Riviere now that we’ve destroyed their confidence. No good head coach could turn that down, surely?

  • 154 GeordieTwo // Jun 1, 2015 at 6:57 PM

    I mean how many head coaches get to manage a 1 goal a season striker? Not many. So anyone would be mad to turn down the job. Harrumph.

  • 155 county down magpie // Jun 1, 2015 at 10:20 PM

    I’d have Garde as first choice no doubt. You know what you’re getting with him and he does seem to know his onions.

    If Garde is out of the running already then for me it’ll be Viera over Carver and/or McClaren as it’ll be the same brand of football and identity as we’ve come to loathe

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