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Could Stoke’s N’Zonzi Replace Tiote At Newcastle?

4:11 pm, Wednesday, June 17th, 2015 by Dr. Ed Harrison · 202 Comments

Stoke are having trouble signing their defensive midfielder Steven N’Zonzi to a new contract, and the club have been told he has no plans to sign a new deal to stay at the Britannia Stadium.

With only one year left of his contract it looks like the 6’3″ player would be available at something less than £6M this summer.

steven n'zonzi -stoke-city_3005973

Steven N’Zonzi – wants to leave Stoke

26 year-old N’Zonzi is keen to be capped by France, and although he’s played 6 times for the France U21 side he has never played for the full France side.

Steven has turned down the chance to play for the Democratic Republic of the Congo, who he qualifies to play for because of his father – because he wants to play for France.

Steven wants to join a bigger club than Stoke, and although Newcastle have had a poor team for the last three years, we still have a (very) high profile in France and with France manager Didier Deschamps.

When Loic Remy surprisingly signed for QPR instead of Newcastle in January 2012, Didier Deschamps said he was disappointed at Remy’s move, and signing on at Newcastle would have been a better career move.

There are cases where Frenchmen like Yohan Cabaye and Moussa Sissoko have joined Newcastle and become starters for the French National side.

Newcastle don’t play in Europe too much these days, but at less than £6M Steven would be an excellent replacement for Ivorian International Cheick Tiote,  who turns 29 on Saturday, and is likely to leave Newcastle this summer.

The 26 year-old was Stoke’s Player of the Season last year,  but Newcastle may have some trouble persuading him to sign for Newcastle because of our poor form these last three years, and the fact that Newcastle only just avoided relegation in May – on the final day of the season.

But it would be worth a try – nothing ventured nothing gained – and he’s certainly worth around £6M to Newcastle.

Since joining Stoke from Blackburn Rovers in 2012 for £3M,  Steven has played 120 times for Stoke City with 7 goals.

What do you think?

Comments welcome.

Tags: Newcastle News · Recruitment · Transfer News and Rumours · Transfer Target

202 responses so far ↓

  • 1 ToonFromLeeds // Jun 17, 2015 at 4:13 PM

    Like your thinking ed

  • 2 ilovetoon8788 // Jun 17, 2015 at 4:13 PM

    No chance. Nzonzi will be snapped by Southampton arsenal or Liverpool.

  • 3 Sazzer // Jun 17, 2015 at 4:16 PM

    Ex model and TV Presenter drinking wine and delivering latest on Charlie Austin:

  • 4 ToonFromLeeds // Jun 17, 2015 at 4:17 PM

    Surely McClaren should be selling his idea of what his plan for the club is to the players, it might convince them to sign?

  • 5 Belfast // Jun 17, 2015 at 4:19 PM

    Tsunki // Jun 17, 2015 at 4:06 PM

    Baa. Humbug. Is he welshgeordie or not? And if not, where is the club comic?

    It’s not him. I think if the original one was going to crack he would have cracked a long time ago. It’s a bit odd the original has disappeared though. Haha

  • 6 Belfast // Jun 17, 2015 at 4:21 PM

    Sazzer has she decided to fly solo now or something ? or has sky sports rebranded itself ? lol

  • 7 Sazzer // Jun 17, 2015 at 4:23 PM

    Rrrroberto Soldado for sale

  • 8 hibbit // Jun 17, 2015 at 4:23 PM

    tfl Mc can not get his own staff over the line never mind players the club wont pay the money

  • 9 Sazzer // Jun 17, 2015 at 4:25 PM

    And she’s chugging the wine in this.

  • 10 Spreadthetoon // Jun 17, 2015 at 4:25 PM

    Typical NUFC. #whatashambles#
    Tick tick tick tick………..
    So surprise, surprise Charlie Austin costs too much for us.
    Is anyone just the slightest bit concerned with the volume of Championship players we’ve been connected with! Oi PENFOLD you 4 eyed tw@@ don’t you realise we’re in the premiership…….
    Reckon when Ashley mentioned strapping the horse onto the cart, reckon he was thinking more along the lines of “my little pony”…..talking of Pony……
    MA your last chance, cough up or fc@k off now

  • 11 ToonFromLeeds // Jun 17, 2015 at 4:26 PM

    Chancel Mbemba

  • 12 ToonFromLeeds // Jun 17, 2015 at 4:31 PM

    At least its a defender link for a change

  • 13 Mr Magpie // Jun 17, 2015 at 4:31 PM

    Mr Magpie..Repost

    I think Sissoko & Cisse might be sold as well as anyone else who McClaren can sell on to generate funds for him to bring in the players he wants in the squad.

    In the case of Sissoko who clearly has no desire to stay here we must make sure that we receive players that we want on permanent deals instead of cash from the deal.

    I am sure there are players that Chelsea, Arsenal & Psg would allow to leave that would certainly improve our current squad.

  • 14 richyg01 // Jun 17, 2015 at 4:36 PM

    There is no chance he would come to us, he wants to step up in his career, not down!

  • 15 JamesToon // Jun 17, 2015 at 4:37 PM

    If Cabaye, Remy and Ba are all available i’d take them all back in a heartbeat.

  • 16 Belfast // Jun 17, 2015 at 4:37 PM

    Sissoko will be going nowhere, because nobody will pay the rumoured 18-20 million asking price.

  • 17 Mr Magpie // Jun 17, 2015 at 4:38 PM

    I think Stoke would want more than £6m for him & he will no doubt want European football at his next club.

  • 18 Mr Magpie // Jun 17, 2015 at 4:46 PM

    Trouble is they always just want the money instead of making sure players from the buying club form part or all of the deal. Then they never spend the money to replace the players they have sold.

    I would much rather have Sissoko to Chelsea…Van Ginkel & Remy to Newcastle in a swap deal with no cash changing hands than £18m in the bank & not being willing to spend the money on replacements.

  • 19 Charlie in the Gallowgate // Jun 17, 2015 at 4:46 PM

    Load of Bollocks – nobody is going to replace nobody – Charmless is Ashley’s wrecking ball – getting paid a fortune to stall/block deals getting over the line. Same team as last year maybe a couple of kid signings for a couple of million to sell on. Everyone was on a up when we stayed up and Ashley spouting off things would change £60 million kitty. month gone since Sweet FA happened about 50 names mentioned that we are after – haven’t even had a meeting to discuss targets – suppose to happen this week should been months ago.
    Looks like same old same old – wonder how long MC will stay ????

  • 20 ToonFromLeeds // Jun 17, 2015 at 4:47 PM

    still 5/2 favs but looking shaky

  • 21 firebug666 // Jun 17, 2015 at 4:48 PM

    It seems to have all gone quiet, maybe McClaren has just read the small print on his contract and realises who now owns his soul.

  • 22 ToonFromLeeds // Jun 17, 2015 at 4:53 PM

    Well I’m away to hospital for check up, whats odds on us having a signing when I get back? lol

  • 23 lesh // Jun 17, 2015 at 4:54 PM

    The sooner McClaren (cos there’s nobody else who’s been around football 2015) convinces Ashley that there’s a lot of money slushing about in the Prem and that players will have to be persuaded to join Newcastle United.

    Players will need to be incentivised to come to SJP and the only incentive they could realistically be offered is MONEY.

    Needless to say he needs to wake up to the fact that the club needs to spend what it takes to get decent players in.

  • 24 Jamesthefirst // Jun 17, 2015 at 4:54 PM

    People need to calm down about the reported low transfer budget story today.

    Ashley could be spending £60 million this summer, but there is no way they want the media and other clubs knowing this (as leaked the other week).

    Tell the media and clubs you don’t have much money and try and get the players for less.

    If you tell the world what your budget is they all want more money from you.

    They spent £9 million straight away on Dost.

    QPR accepted a bid from us for Austin because we have spoken to his agent (confirmed by Sky). This would not have happened unless we bid high (around £11-12 million).

    But QPR are now touting the player to try and get more money for him. No one else has bid.

    So Newcastle are looking at alternatives instead of sitting around like they normally do.

    Despite all the inactivity in the previous transfer windows I am confident this one will be better, shrewder, and more rewarding.

  • 25 lesh // Jun 17, 2015 at 4:55 PM


    Best of luck with the check and unless it takes six months, I don’t think there’ll be any signings when you get back.

  • 26 firebug666 // Jun 17, 2015 at 4:58 PM

    Best of luck TFL marra, hope all goes well.

  • 27 Toon Tang // Jun 17, 2015 at 5:00 PM

    Austin allegro
    Das Boot
    Dick Van Djik

    Get them four badboys signed up and I’ll keep the faith. Anything less and you can fcuk off Ashley.

  • 28 Toon Tang // Jun 17, 2015 at 5:02 PM

    TFL, I’m going with odds of 1,000,000,000/1 for that little wager. Let’s see how we get on eh.

  • 29 Ibizatoon // Jun 17, 2015 at 5:05 PM

    “we still have a (very) high profile in France and with France manager Didier Deschamps.” Is that right Ed?

    Thought Deschamps wasn’t really a fan, but maybe the suns gone to my head.

    I can’t see why a Stoke player would make the switch to us these days. Better wages? More ambition? League finishes?

  • 30 toonarmydownsouth // Jun 17, 2015 at 5:06 PM

    Nufc nice and fast out the blocks as usual!

    Have we even appointed back room staff yet?

  • 31 Mr Magpie // Jun 17, 2015 at 5:08 PM

    Hope all goes well tfl…unlikely to be any signings by the time you get back but Jeff might have come up with another multiple identity!!

  • 32 optimistic prime // Jun 17, 2015 at 5:09 PM


    That’s a new name for it.

  • 33 Toon Tang // Jun 17, 2015 at 5:10 PM

    We’ve appointed backroom staff tads, only the backroom is actually a small portacabin/tea room space with Ethel controlling all dealings in and out.

  • 34 lesh // Jun 17, 2015 at 5:15 PM


    Backroom staff? Don’t be daft man, it’s too early.

    If it’s true that Charnley’s offering a poor basic plus incentives, then we’ll end up with Carver and Stone!

    What fun eh.

  • 35 Welshie's Sheep // Jun 17, 2015 at 5:18 PM

    I’m Welsh and I love Sheep & Swans

  • 36 Ibizatoon // Jun 17, 2015 at 5:23 PM

    Lesh…I seem to remember reading that John Carver was the best manager in the PL.

    We could use that sort of coach at NUFC. I think he’s out of work too.

  • 37 hibbit // Jun 17, 2015 at 5:29 PM

    tads we are offering the the new coaches low basic wage with incentives / bonus if we win a cup and league position………….. not many going to take that offer with our record

  • 38 Munster Mag // Jun 17, 2015 at 5:30 PM

    I would Nzonzi…but Troy Deeney ….wha ????

  • 39 Jail for Ashley // Jun 17, 2015 at 5:36 PM

    I wouldn’t if Carver would have been so quick to relay ‘The Boards’ promise of investment if he’d known that the biggest one they’d make was paying him and his mate off.

  • 40 BandB // Jun 17, 2015 at 5:37 PM


    Is this you. One of your milder predictions.

    “Jamesthefirst // Aug 20, 2012 at 9:45 PM

    Pardew said last month that Ashley has assured him he won’t sell any of our star players for less than what we received for Carroll. (£35 million up front and not installments)

    Our players will stay to see if we can get into the Champions league. If we don’t then they will be tempted next summer.

    And I am confident we are going to be top 4 this season.”

    Are you still managing to keep calm over the imminent signings of Gomis and all the others?

  • 41 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 5:46 PM

    The club’s position on wages for coaches is the new modern trendsetter. If the club finishes somewhere between 8th and 12th then the coaches get paid. If we finish above 8th (very dangerous, could involve playing extra games the following season!) or below 12th (supporters become whiney and disinterested) then the coaches don’t get paid. Mike loves it.

  • 42 Tsunki // Jun 17, 2015 at 5:49 PM

    Ha ha nice bit of searching bandb 🙂

  • 43 Tsunki // Jun 17, 2015 at 5:50 PM

    Ah G2 just the man . John T has apparently found a giant wooden spoon to beat Ashley with. He has all the details.

  • 44 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 5:51 PM

    Tsunki, what are you up to these days? I’m still busy complaining about the state of the club. Where are the new signings? Where are the Belgian midget strikers? Harrumph.

  • 45 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 5:53 PM

    Come back soon TFL mate. Hope things go well. If I post you my brain can you have them check it for me as well?

  • 46 Mr Magpie // Jun 17, 2015 at 5:54 PM


    Where have you seen confirmation we have spent £9m on bost…to be honest i have not seen any confirmation we have made yet alone had a bid accepted for Austin either.

  • 47 Tsunki // Jun 17, 2015 at 5:54 PM

    I am still being shamed over the whole Pokat affair. Apparently I upset Jail ( he probably thought he had a new friend, I don’t know…) and belfast reckons I have only made the multiple posters come out of the woodwork in swarms. Nobody trusts anyone anymore, least of all me. Even I don’t trust me. Whoever I am.

  • 48 Tsunki // Jun 17, 2015 at 5:55 PM

    Yes hope all is well TFL. Oh a rhyme.

  • 49 toonarmydownsouth // Jun 17, 2015 at 5:56 PM

    Ahh reet so where we’re going for the tesco value coaches

    “I’m sorry Schteve but we made clear, no coaches who are under contract, put an ad up in the job centre”

  • 50 BlacknWhiteBarmy // Jun 17, 2015 at 5:57 PM

    Another day of ineptitude. Whilst other teams are making moves we are still at the internal discussion stage. Apparently linked with anyone that can kick a ball, but we all know we will end up with some out of contract steals and some kids.
    Ashley is in it for the money and anyone with a season ticket is a mug for giving their cash to him in exchange for ……. all

  • 51 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 5:58 PM

    Do you lot have Value Village over there? I’m sure I saw Mike and Lee shopping there yesterday. They were in the bargain coaches section looking at the leftovers. 😯

  • 52 Tsunki // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:00 PM

    I think there may be a few expired coaches or at least a couple that are past use by date.

  • 53 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:02 PM

    More words of wisdom from The Theory of Low Bids:
    Lee Charnley: “never make a decision in haste. This is Mike’s money we’re talking about. Always dither before finally putting in that first low bid. Then let the other club sweat it out for a few weeks before going to the press claiming the player is desperate to come to us. Then slip in an even lower bid.”
    This is incredible stuff. Keeps me wide awake at nights in a cold sweat.

  • 54 JamesToon // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:02 PM

    What we’re missing is a backbone/spine in the squad, a core of quality players. We had in 2010 with Coloccini/Nolan/Barton/Carroll. We had it in 2012 with Coloccini/Cabaye/Ba/Ben Arfa

    We need to invest in a core backbone. Prem experience and quality

  • 55 Tsunki // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:03 PM

    Just now got yet another email from the lads begging sorry informing me of my imminent deadline of Friday to buy a Season Ticket before it goes on general sale. Nice that they’re not pushy about it.

  • 56 toonarmydownsouth // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:03 PM

    All these links to Austin Dost Berahino etc be nice if true but tbf we do have 4 Strikers, granted Goofy and Rivy make Shola look like messi but still!
    Massively worrying were yet to express any interest in strengthening the one area that’s been desperate for a revamp since the championship!

    Sign a f**king CB mike ffs

  • 57 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:04 PM

    Have you lot seen our schedule for next season? Southampton (h), Swansea (a), Man U (a), Arsenal (h) to get things started. That should bring us a 1 point haul for Steve to brag about.

  • 58 BlacknWhiteBarmy // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:05 PM

    Tsunski – its great that they are after fans commitment but seem to forget about the team that goes out each week. Good team = full house = success

  • 59 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:06 PM

    How long will Steve last if we get off to a slow start? Say 4 points from our first 8 games? Any betting on this yet?

  • 60 Tsunki // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:06 PM

    I think it’s telling that we’ve not made much of a go of shipping out the knackers that’s been dragging us down to the championship these last few years.

  • 61 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:08 PM

    Wrong equation BlacknWhite mate. The Ashley equation is: Low spend = more money for me = happy Fatty.

  • 62 BlacknWhiteBarmy // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:08 PM

    TDS – a CB, a LB, another CB, some creative players for midfield, someone who can cross a ball, someone who can take a freekick/corner, oh and a couple of strikers – and that’s the minimum

  • 63 Belfast // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:09 PM

    Most of the multiple posters have been stuck in a jam jar for a while now. You shook the jam jar every day for a few weeks and then you opened the lid basically.

  • 64 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:10 PM

    Give oos ya knackas!!!
    Boom boom, boom boom boom!!!
    Sell oos ya knackas!!!
    Boom, boom, boom boom boom!!!!
    Does Nzonzi qualify as a Stoke knacker?

  • 65 BlacknWhiteBarmy // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:10 PM

    Gerodie2 – its a shame that Fatty doesn’t realise that a successful toon would bring in even more cash – and we don’t need to be winning the EPL – fast flowing attacking football would surely get TV / crowds going.

  • 66 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:11 PM

    Sign outside St James Park:
    We buy knackers in bulk
    Apply within

  • 67 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:13 PM

    Could we do a one for one knacker swap with Stoke? Say, errm Obertan for Nzonzi?

  • 68 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:14 PM

    One for one knacker swaps are all the rage in Eastern Europe now. Greece has the get 2 knackers for the price of one deal right now as well. Mike should be looking into that.

  • 69 toonarmydownsouth // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:15 PM

    Loads of ppl on Twitter saying they’ve been swamped with both Emails and letters begging for renewals before the second extended deadline comes round

    Getting desperate it seems….

  • 70 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:15 PM

    I agree completely BlacknWhite @65. But we’re dealing with Mike the Mental Midget here. Bin dipper Mike.

  • 71 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:17 PM

    Surely there must be some desperate, mediocre football players available in Greece now? I’m sure Mike and Graham are looking into it.

  • 72 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:19 PM

    Check wor schedule for next season out lads. We have less than 2 weeks before training camp starts. We have very little time to make some decisive moves Lee. Lee? Is that you hiding in your closet?

  • 73 Oldgit1 // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:23 PM

    Ha,official site now saying ” last chance to renew your season ticket before the go on general release on the 18.06.2015.

    Can I say it’s also the clubs last chance to buy someone worth while by the 01.07.2015 or I will book up my cruise.

    If they think I’m going to renew even after 20 odd years, on the appointment of SM they can think again. He hasn’t even got the backroom staff in yet and not even an inkling of a player being signed.

    How fcuking dare they..

  • 74 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:26 PM

    So wanted the Sun as our press partner if they signed a contract with us and paid good money? Hahahahahahaha! We need the press coverage, not the other way around Mike the Mental Midget.

  • 75 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:26 PM

    We as in Mike wanted the Sun to pay us that is.

  • 76 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:29 PM

    Lead up front by Boy Beeney and Das Boot. How many goals will Boy Beeney get in the Prem first time round? Hilarious Mike. Keep on trying.

  • 77 toonarmydownsouth // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:29 PM


    All seemingly dead weight with no future here and they haven’t had one for a while
    We’re as p1ss poor at moving players on as we are getting them in, that’s 10 squad spots filled by players with no future and who won’t feature
    That’s before you look at the lads who for some reason get overlooked like Abied and sick notes like Taylor and Haidara!

  • 78 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:30 PM

    I suppose bringing in Championship players this summer could be considered forward thinking by Lee. After all we’ll probably be in the Championship after next season.

  • 79 Belfast // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:32 PM

    I reckon Vuckic and Ferguson to Rangers permanently.

  • 80 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:36 PM

    Bigi should probably go there as well Belfast mate. If he’s over his health problems. Marv can go permanently back to France, Willo can be used as a lamp post somewhere in Austrilia, Fergie can go back to Birmingham so we can confuse him with other players and make a low bid for him, And Tiote can stay on as official McLaren cheerleader. That’s most of our problems sorted. Harrumph.

  • 81 ToonFromLeeds // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:36 PM

    Hi lads thanks for best wishes, gotta have surgery again so

  • 82 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:36 PM

    Australia that is. Fingers don’t work today.

  • 83 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:40 PM

    Lads!!!! Just got tipped off to some seriously good players! Dick Tickler and Danny Minge! Already vetted by John Oliver! Graham Carr will be so excited.

  • 84 Average_Contents // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:42 PM

    I guess that’s no more articles for nufcdigest then lol.

  • 85 welshgeordie9 // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:42 PM

    35Welshie’s Sheep // Jun 17, 2015 at 5:18 PM

    I’m Welsh and I love Sheep & Swans

    So who is this Muppet who’s trying to take the piss.

  • 86 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:43 PM

    What to do with Amoeba? Could he pick up the takeaways if we manage to give Obertan away?

  • 87 BandB // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:44 PM

    Micah Richards confirmed by Villa.

    No great sweat about that, but wasn’t he on holiday or something?

  • 88 Lindisfarne // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:44 PM

    Why Steven N’Zonzi when we already have Sammy Ameobi?

    Two years younger and very capable of making a towering midfielder, with a good turn of pace and blistering shot.

  • 89 Belfast // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:45 PM

    Could do G2. They released 11 players + our 5 players on top of that.
    Could loan them Obertan and Williamson this time. Lol

  • 90 toonarmydownsouth // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:46 PM

    Wtf even happened to Tiote anyway?

    Last time anyone saw him he was getting pulled over for having 7 of his 9 wives pilled into his car, panicked and got confused when the officer asked him for his driving license as he couldn’t remember which fake one he was using so have them all 15, ran off, took a selfie in an Arsenal shirt then vanished…

  • 91 ToonFromLeeds // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:46 PM

    AC I don’t have owt to do with them and I meant I have to have surgery soon

  • 92 beermonkey // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:47 PM

    Leicester City SACK three players who filmed themselves in racist orgy – including manager Nigel Pearson’s son

    there you there are 3 players we might be able to get in cheap

  • 93 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:48 PM

    I somehow think we’re getting mixed messages from the club. We want to win silverware, but we don’t want to spend anything to get it, we love the supporters, but we also despise them, we want press coverage, but only our kind of press coverage (mostly lies made up to cover up the incompetence in the club). This is very difficult to achieve Mike the Mental Midget. Possibly it’s time to take your medication again?

  • 94 Lindisfarne // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:48 PM

    I was under the illusion Willo had been sold, but he is still ‘sticking’ around.

  • 95 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:49 PM

    Good luck with the surgery TFL mate.

  • 96 ToonFromLeeds // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:49 PM

    G2 no wonder we are getting steve black lol

  • 97 ToonFromLeeds // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:50 PM

    ty G2

  • 98 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:50 PM

    What exactly is involved in a racist orgy beermonkey mate?

  • 99 ToonFromLeeds // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:51 PM

    I believed the words “slit eyes” was used

  • 100 welshgeordie9 // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:52 PM

    Well after going away for a few days I thought there might be some news Reguarding transfers, what a load of crap, same old rubbish.

  • 101 BandB // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:53 PM

    And Trippier due to join Tottenham, says Sean Dyche.
    Why aren’t these blighters all on holiday?
    Like all of ours apparently are.

  • 102 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:53 PM

    That’s a nice Tiote summary tads mate @90. Can you do one for Obertan or Amoeba or another of our other top, top young players. Or players that used to be young and now aren’t really but nobody else wants them?

  • 103 beermonkey // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:53 PM


    not quite sure but have the vision of Ashley in his topless photo so I am sure he will be impressed with them
    I also bet penfold could do with a trip to the 5 dollar sucky sucky bar as he never seems to smile and these guys will know the way

  • 104 Belfast // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:54 PM

    I new it wasn’t you Welshie.

    The club probably found his real passport and realised he’s actually 45.

  • 105 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:54 PM

    But the orgy part TFL mate. Were they shagging each other at the time?

  • 106 Tsunki // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:54 PM

    Hmm belfast heeeeeellp! Which ones this one?

  • 107 G peart 83 // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:55 PM

    Please tell me what lee charnley gets paid for

  • 108 bettyswallocks // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:56 PM

    So Welsh Geordie disappears to be replaced by an aggressive NUFC hating imposter, then reappears when the sheep version is ignored into submission.

    The plot thickens.

  • 109 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:56 PM

    What has Penfold got to smile about though? He presided over that magnificent 15th place finish of last season when he did nothing in January. Now he’s sitting there doing nothing as usual before claiming other clubs are uncooperative and refuse to give us their best players for low bids. Very sad Penfold.

  • 110 Tsunki // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:56 PM

    G peart is that you, Mike?

  • 111 Tsunki // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:57 PM

    Betty – hmmm. Hmmmmm.

  • 112 BandB // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:57 PM

    Hello Welshie.

    Someone has been taking your name in vain old thing.

    Aggressive, psychotic type of chap.

    Flippin’ heck! David Craig is reporting from Royal Ascot for Sky. Have their preferred media partners told them there’s nothing to see here this week?

  • 113 Belfast // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:58 PM

    He’s the original one Skunki. Don’t let the other one pull the “wool” over your eyes?

  • 114 toonarmydownsouth // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:58 PM

    Lol, seriously though where the hell is he!

  • 115 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 6:59 PM

    Did anybody contact Joe Kinnear and inform him there was going to be a racist orgy? He could have been the commentator for that and then they could have posted it on youtube. Poor planning phase apparently.

  • 116 ToonFromLeeds // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:00 PM

    G2 it was three lads and three Asian birds, vid was on twitter

  • 117 beermonkey // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:01 PM


    penfold is the best paid tea boy around and he prob gets rewarded for not buying any1 he goes in to work plays games and watchs Jeremy kyle
    you would think he would be a little happy

  • 118 ToonFromLeeds // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:01 PM

    stop giving interviews and start signing players

  • 119 Ibizatoon // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:02 PM

    Got a little sidetracked there. Whats the current order of business?

  • 120 BandB // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:02 PM


    You have a fine nose for an imposter.

    But I have wondered what Betty is wondering.

    I heard a whisper that Jeff is referred to as “they” in high places.

  • 121 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:04 PM

    Joe Kinnear commenting on racist orgy:
    “Ooohhh there’s something very narsty going on in the corner. A real tangle of bodies. Hoi! Break it up you lot. Is that Vinny Jones in there?”

  • 122 Spreadthetoon // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:05 PM

    Steve McClaren pictured with bench full of new summer signings – official nufc Twitter account

    That’s what I call strength in numbers – well done Mike for getting them over the line.

  • 123 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:05 PM

    The current order of business is complete disorder Ibiza mate. Apparently there have been sexist orgies, human sacrifices, low bids submitted, and the league schedule is out as well.

  • 124 Ibizatoon // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:05 PM

    Belfast…I never thought you were that easily swayed. Is gullible the right word? 🙂

  • 125 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:06 PM

    That picture is of Steve McLaren thinking to himself “am I going to have to run across the pitch naked if I lose a bet with Mike?”

  • 126 Ibizatoon // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:08 PM

    G2…You just don’t understand how organised chaos works mate. The club have it all in hand. It’s meant to look like they don’t so that people don’t take them seriously.

    Do you think it’s working?

    As for sexist orgies…actually, forget it, I don’t want to know.

  • 127 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:10 PM

    Is it considered a sexist orgy if Mike gets fonged by Tiote while Lee watches?

  • 128 firebug666 // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:10 PM

    The Chronicle ?@EveningChron 3m3 minutes ago
    Yohan Cabaye and Will Hughes among the names touted in #nufc transfer rumours

    I feel a strike coming on.

  • 129 Ibizatoon // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:12 PM

    BandB…I heard that “they” whisper too. I also heard that “they” had pushed their luck.

    Intriguing stuff.

    You would think that someone would be able to deal with it, them, whatever.

    Perhaps there is just too many of “them”.

  • 130 firebug666 // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:12 PM

    The Chronicle ?@EveningChron now10 seconds ago
    .@MsiDouglas: Steve McClaren’s baptism of fire should focus minds of #NUFC transfer team

  • 131 BandB // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:14 PM


    “They” certainly all turned up at the same time, during the Guvnor plague of two years ago.

  • 132 Ibizatoon // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:14 PM

    Does everyone think it’s too early for MBiwa or Santon return rumours to start?

    More likely to be next seasons rumours I guess.

  • 133 Ibizatoon // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:16 PM

    BandB…Could just be a coincidence. Then again, it could just be the same approach, the same arguments, the same lack of respect for anyone else….just with a different name.

    Who knows? Oh right, lots of people do. Best keep it up then.

  • 134 scout // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:17 PM

    I singled nzonzi out weeks ago. Stokes best player by a mile.

  • 135 Ibizatoon // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:18 PM

    firebug…I stopped reading at “The day the transfer window snaps shut – scheduled to be at 6pm, although TV interests might push it back to later – is now a key date on the United calendar.”

    Key date? Perhaps for the PR team.

  • 136 Welshie's Sheep // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:19 PM

    Baaa was my boyfriend in earlier?

  • 137 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:20 PM

    I don’t see more than 4 points from our first 8 games if I’m honest. Woops I’m starting to sound a bit like Percy there.

  • 138 sing in the corner // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:21 PM

    A day is a long time in blogville, especially when we’re all champing at the bit to see some fresh faces get over the line. But its early days man, all is not lost. Players are on holiday and the agents are all jostling for position and the best terms. We may be further ahead on some deals than the fans know…we may not. But I just thnk that some balance is needed on the blog amid this tidal wave of ‘it’s not gonna happen..’ etc Keep ya powder dry lads and lasses.

  • 139 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:21 PM

    So we have a war chest of 25M I hear? That might be enough for 2 decent players. What happens after that? Do we hunker down and try for 17th place?

  • 140 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:21 PM

    Oh, and win some silverware as well of course. How silly of me.

  • 141 firebug666 // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:25 PM


    Yeah my eyes glazed over right about there too, important date, aye, will the PR machine be able to sell enough ST’s to the gullible by then.

    The transfer front looks bleak, Charnley, Carr, old Bob and McClaren only met at Benton Park yesterday to start discussions on transfers. WOW! right on the ball like, so does that mean that all the guff we have put up with these last couple of weeks was just that….Guff!

  • 142 firebug666 // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:26 PM

    Where is Geordie Two?

    NUFCThreatLevel retweeted
    Breaking News Feed ?@PzFeed 7m7 minutes ago
    BREAKING NEWS: Government of Canada servers are under a cyber attack.

  • 143 Ibizatoon // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:27 PM

    G2…It’d be something if we could keep up Carvers fine form in to the new season.

    Sing…Calls for balance are more than reasonable. It’s not like we haven’t been here before mind. If you look back, it’s not out of the ordinary for a club representive to try and get fans excited, only to not deliver.

    The only difference I can see so far is that Mike spoke to us directly. Quickly followed by that he only supplys money, afterall, he isn’t a footballing man (shocker).

    So really, the only difference is McLaren for Pardew….and that bank balance, which was also in place last summer too.

    Damn, got my powder wet. Any tips? Airing cupboard?

  • 144 Ibizatoon // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:30 PM

    Firebug…I’m sure G2 is searching for his thong of internet defense as we type.

    As for transfers. I’m intrigued to know more about this list of players that JC saw that he swore would have us excited. I mean, it was enough to convince him. How come we’re back to square one.

    This is all JC’s fault. If only he had been good enough like Lee had hoped. We could have all our targets tied up by now. Damn you John!

  • 145 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:32 PM

    Stay calm mates. The Government of Canada servers they’re speaking about are the waiters in the Parliamentary dining room. Apparently the Camembert was served cold with broken crackers and the white wine was warm. (A little Canadian humour there).

  • 146 Tsunki // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:34 PM

    Belfast this Welsh nonsense is probably not as clear cut as you think. More multi posting nonsense and jiggery pokery

  • 147 welshgeordie9 // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:35 PM

    Welshie’s Sheep

    If you say so.

  • 148 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:35 PM

    I have not yet put on the thong of despair mates. It sits unused beside the thong of gloom. With Steve “I’m walkin on sunshine” McLaren running things we will dazzle the unbelievers! Huzzah!!!!

  • 149 firebug666 // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:35 PM

    Thong of internet defence? I want one!

    As the transfer triangle committee + 1 have only just started there meetings to discuss the list of transfers Honest John (I’m the best manager in the world) Carver told us we would get excited about, I’m with Geordie Two, let’s all get ready to welcome the Belgian midgets.

  • 150 welshgeordie9 // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:36 PM


    I don’t know this Muppet.

  • 151 cestriasteve // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:37 PM


    As much as I hate to say it we have a squad so if we have to sell to get rid of some, I’ll be surprised if we have a net spend this window of more than £10 million.

    Unfortunately we’ve got nobody decent to sell, remember our current net spend over 5 years is 1.2 million.

  • 152 welshgeordie9 // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:37 PM

    How hard is it to sign a bloody player or even make a bid for that matter.

  • 153 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:38 PM

    Belgian Midget Strikers!!! Kneecap Manglers!!!! Crotch Knobblers!!!! Bring them in Steve!!!

  • 154 Ibizatoon // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:39 PM

    firebug….Norton have just released theirs, but there are reports of some (gl)itches, so I’d wait before ordering one.

    Tsunki…Seems conclusive enough to me. Nice to close the case. What’s life without some closure…

  • 155 BandB // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:39 PM


    There was a bit of a tidal wave in the opposite direction for a couple of weeks….
    I don’t think it helps to convince Ashley that we will hold him to his hints of change.
    I hope it settles down somewhere around “no more blind faith.”

  • 156 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:40 PM

    You’re being overly pessimistic cestriasteve mate. We’ve got options. We’ve got Steve. We’ve got The Theory of Low Bids. This is our time!!! Silverware awaits us. I’m getting very excited now.

  • 157 sing in the corner // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:40 PM


    Well one tip would be don’t overheat it too quickly or it’ll blow up in your face! yeah totally take your point about everyones been here before though…

  • 158 Ibizatoon // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:41 PM

    Steve…The good news is that Ashley will continue to invest to bring us glory. £240k a year (over the past 5) he realises was unrealistic.

    I understand he’s throwing out the rules book and doubling the budget. Expect £2.4m net spend over the next 5 years. Along with some silverware, of course.

  • 159 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:41 PM

    And remember, if we don’t win anything I’ll BE VERRRY DISAPPOINTED!!!

  • 160 bettyswallocks // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:42 PM

    Tsunki…………looks like you’ve been nominated to unravel this web of deceit . Look what you started . Lol.

  • 161 ToonFromLeeds // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:42 PM

    fgs it can’t take that long to sign someone

  • 162 Tsunki // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:43 PM

    Where have you been welshie this guy’s been running amok and you’ve been strangely out of office

  • 163 BlacknWhiteBarmy // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:44 PM

    If hte rumours are true, we are willing to pay £10M for an untried Championship plasyer, yet refuse to pay £5M more for a EPL / England player. Its all about VALUE nothing to do with success

  • 164 Tsunki // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:44 PM

    Belfast and jail I think are blog sherlocks. I’m just the grouse beater

  • 165 Ibizatoon // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:45 PM

    sing…It’s a tough situation we find ourselves in. I do tend to try and find middle ground as a way of life.

    The only way I see that as being possible at the moment is to say nothing at all. Let’s be honest, that’s not likely to happen.

    All I can bring myself to do is talk based on experience. That experience involves lies and deceit.

    Nothing wrong with them proving me wrong though. Never would a man be as happy to have something blow up in his face 😯

  • 166 Welshie's Sheep // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:45 PM

    I’m praying for my rear end tonight if Newcastle don’t get the signings in!!!!

  • 167 cestriasteve // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:45 PM


    It’s criminal really when you think about it, I think there are only 2 teams below us and one of them is Spurs with the Bale sale.

  • 168 BlacknWhiteBarmy // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:45 PM

    Whats even more galling is the fact that Mac has little say on transfers so Penfold and co have had months to make a move. TO$$ERS

  • 169 Ibizatoon // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:49 PM

    Steve…We must remember the awful state that Ashley found the club in when he saved us. We had loads of debt, now we only have £129m debt. What, that’s more debt than we had before?

    But we don’t pay interest though, right?

    Advertising? Pffttt…it has no value. That’s why big companies aren’t interested in it.

  • 170 Tsunki // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:49 PM

    We’ve got to be patient. These things take years oh wait that’s growing trees……

  • 171 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:49 PM

    Zorg: “There should be 4 trophies in this case. Not 1, not 2, not 3. Four trophies!!! I’m very disappointed!!!”

  • 172 Tsunki // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:50 PM

    You’re a bad man…..

  • 173 BlacknWhiteBarmy // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:50 PM

    Ibiza – so you are saying we are the football equivalent of Greece – huge mounting debts, reduced income and and exit from the EPL beckons

  • 174 welshgeordie9 // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:50 PM


    I have been on holidays only got back today, so this he/she or what ever it is that’s calling itself Welshies sheep is nothing to do with me.

  • 175 lesh // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:51 PM


    I think Carver’s from Newcastle as well. The draw of working in his home city might just swing it for us.

    Trouble is though, Carver’d probably want to bring his partner, Stone I think, and Ashley might baulk ag that.

    But, if we want to win things, it’s worth pushing the boat out to get him in, before he goes off to Real Madrid to work with Rafa!

  • 176 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:51 PM

    Sorry I just went all Fifth Element on you lot. You didn’t deserve that. Again, sorry.

  • 177 Tsunki // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:52 PM

    Okay done Welsh we will go with it, doesn’t sound like you not one attempt at humour or a funny remark. Let me rephrase that er…

  • 178 welshgeordie9 // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:52 PM

    Welshies sheep can you change your name to jail for ashley 2.

  • 179 Ibizatoon // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:53 PM

    Tsunki….We do have to be patient. It took 8 years to realise that you don’t just need a cart, you need a horse too.

    I think that was the lesson anyway.

  • 180 cestriasteve // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:53 PM

    Ibiza, and we take the pi$$ out of him, he’s as shrewd as they come!! I reckon he’s even had us on his radar years before he bought us. I bet he thought chuckling to himself, just look at them nor then monkeys pie for deceit and rich pickings, they will believe anything.

  • 181 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:54 PM

    Get the midget strikers in Steve!!!!

  • 182 welshgeordie9 // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:54 PM


    Has it been aggressive to anyone on here.

  • 183 optimistic prime // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:54 PM

    Fleeced by a imposter

  • 184 Tsunki // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:54 PM

    Multipass. MULTIPASS!

    Yes Lee he knows it’s a multipass just get Steves bags he’s got reams of meaningless PR to rehearse.

  • 185 ToonFromLeeds // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:55 PM

    Tsunki are u applying for SM’s right hand man? 🙂

  • 186 Ibizatoon // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:57 PM

    I like that. Next time I get a call from a client saying the WiFi has gone down I’ll explain to them that they’re on holiday, and internet access whilst on holiday is just a no no.

    BlackNWhite…Not at all. You were on the right track but got lost along the way. Don’t worry, it happens to us all. You must remember that Mike wants to win something and Mike get’s what he wants. It’s all good.

    Lesh…I also have a vague recollection that he worked with Sir Bobby, or had a poster of him or something. That can only help.

    I do hope Lee doesn’t act slowly. As you say, Rafa could swoop anytime now.

  • 187 BandB // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:57 PM


    While the rest of us snipe and moan, as you have always been keen to point out, Jeff has always stood out head and shoulders for the sheer vileness of the language he has been prepared to use.
    He is banned, you vanish, and suddenly else is using Jeff-style language in your name.
    You have always been his chief ally, as you have been to every pee-taker that has ever emerged on the blog since you emerged yourself. Is it any wonder people aren’t giving you the benefit of the doubt?

  • 188 bettyswallocks // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:57 PM

    The ball is now in Ashley’s court. As a former squash player he might knock it back again , but he’s put a bit of beef on since his playing days and can’t move as quickly.

  • 189 Tsunki // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:57 PM

    Welsh no just generally annoying. Hmm. Let me rephrase….. anyway he got torn a fresh one especially by betty. We even got told off for being Sheepist or something.

  • 190 Ibizatoon // Jun 17, 2015 at 7:59 PM

    Steve…It saddens me to see such little faith in the big man. What more do you want. He’s taken responsibility and vowed to win something, some day, before he leaves.

  • 191 ToonFromLeeds // Jun 17, 2015 at 8:00 PM

    Ibiza leaves the toon or the planet?

  • 192 GeordieTwo // Jun 17, 2015 at 8:01 PM

    Are the Belgian Midget Strikers confirmed yet Steve??? Bloody hell, do I have to do everything myself?

  • 193 Ketsbaia9 // Jun 17, 2015 at 8:02 PM

    I think we’ll sign the following:

    Bas Dost – £9m
    Charlie Austin – £10m
    Van Dijk – £6m
    Mbodji – £5m
    Konoplyanka – Free
    Leroy Fer £6m
    Clement Grenier – £9m
    Andros Townsend – £9m
    Loic Remy – Loan

    Total = £54m

    We’ll sell:

    Williamson – £1.5m
    Dummett – £1m
    Colback – £5m
    Tiote – £8m
    Riviere – £4m
    Obertan – £3m
    Sammi Ameobi – £2m

    Total = £24.5m

    Net spend = £29.5m

  • 194 welshgeordie9 // Jun 17, 2015 at 8:04 PM


    How did i vanish, I’ve been on holidays, this Welshies sheep have got nothing to do with me, yet again you have got it all wrong.

  • 195 Ketsbaia9 // Jun 17, 2015 at 8:06 PM

    Team for next season:


    Janmaat Mdodji Van Dijk Kolorov

    Townsend Sissoko Fer Grenier Konoplyanka



    Siem De Jong
    Bas Dost
    Loic Remy

  • 196 Ketsbaia9 // Jun 17, 2015 at 8:07 PM

    Replace Townsend with Austin up front and add an extra £3m to sign Kolorov.

  • 197 Ibizatoon // Jun 17, 2015 at 8:07 PM

    TFL…I don’t know about the planet mate. I’m no expert, but I’d imagine such a mass in the atmosphere could have huge implications…

  • 198 Welshie's Sheep // Jun 17, 2015 at 8:07 PM

    Calm down babe you know i’m in the field waiting for you. I’m wearing my Swansea scarf, you know it turns you on 😉

  • 199 welshgeordie9 // Jun 17, 2015 at 8:11 PM

    Welshie’s Sheep

    So you are wearing a swans scarf, yeah right i bet you couldn’t even name 5 players without looking it up.

  • 200 Krul To Be Kind // Jun 17, 2015 at 8:12 PM

    I’ve got it now… All this public speaking this summer by macca is to ready the September excuse.

    Signings, what signings? I was clearly too busy doing bloody interviews!

    It’s in the book by Frank Partnoy called Wait: The useful Art of Procrastination

  • 201 mickalfas // Jun 17, 2015 at 8:27 PM

    Don’t despair lads ,rumour has it Carver and Stone had one more duty to perform as part of the contract ,they are as as we speak driving a minibus around Europe ,scouring all b and c teams for the best pound for pound players available
    They have a huge budget of £20m to spend to fill all seats and are due back at the end of the month,when all of our dreams will come true and all non-believers will be lost for words
    Ashley’s only said that he must have all receipts for the diesel ,food etc, it’s not a holiday !

  • 202 lesh // Jun 17, 2015 at 10:11 PM


    If the reported war chest of £25m is correct, then it suggests that if McClaren wants a few new players, then selling some of the current crop’s essential.

    Don’t forget that Ashley and Charnley have consistently used the term ‘nett spend’.

    Now the problem there is we have a squad that’s thin, he’ll need a few new players so it follows that a big name and/ or a highly rated youngster, will be sent packing.

    I hope I’m wrong but I feel that this won’t be a star-studded one.


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