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Strange Claim Newcastle To Sign Joao Moutinho For £9M

5:02 pm, Thursday, July 23rd, 2015 by Dr. Ed Harrison · 185 Comments

Newcastle are supposedly ready to sign Monaco’s Joao Moutinho for £9.5M according to Portuguese journalist and broadcaster Jorge Bacao – which seem rather bizarre.

Joao Moutinho

Joao Moutinho – Monaco midfielder

Jorge sent out this tweet:

Translated from the Portuguese that says:

EXCLUSIVE: John Moutinho to join Newcastle United for €13M (about £9.1M) and agreed with Monaco. Tomorrow doctor

So he is claiming Joao will have a medical tomorrow but Moutinho has been heavily linked with joining Arsenal in the next day or two – we don’t know if there’s any truth in this.

But we have been talking to Monaco about their center-back Aymen Abdennour, so we have had a chance to talk about their central midfielder too.

It could be a hoax and it could also be true – and Steve McClaren has said we are linked with players that are under the radar screen – maybe this is one of them?

The Express had reported Moutinho was growing unhappy at Monaco following the departure of Colombian superstars James Rodriguez, and the loan move of Radamel Falcao to Chelsea, but as we said Arsenal were favorites to sign him for £14M.

So that fee is not close – unless it is 14M – which is £9.8M.

But if we signed him it would be a surprise – and Steve McClaren said the coming signings under the radar screen will surprise Newcastle fans.

Just in case this might even be true – here’s some information on the player.

He’s a central midfielder who has previously played for Sporting Lisbon and Porto before signing on at money bags Monaco two years ago.

The fee was said to be a whopping €25M (£17.5M) and in wo seasons he’s played 86 times for Monaco with 6 goals.

While in Lisbon he played 258 times with 32 goals and at Porto he played 140 games with 10 goals.

He made his first team debut at Sporting Lisbon back in January 25th 2005 against Gil Vicente FC when he was 18.

Moutinho made his Portugal international debut also at the age of 18, in August of 2005 in a 2–0 friendly win against Egypt in Ponta Delgada.

We’ll have to wait if this news gets shot down in flames.

We suppose it’s possible.

Isn’t it?


Comments welcome.

Tags: Newcastle News · Premier League · Recruitment · Transfer News and Rumours · Transfer Target

185 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Bambams // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:05 PM

    This would be a surprise.

    Nothing concrete though just a little tweet

  • 2 Thump // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:06 PM

    Tweets: 20

    I’ll take this one with a pinch of salt, thank you.

  • 3 why oh why // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:07 PM

    Well hopefully true
    This would be massive

  • 4 YouCouldn'tMakeItUp // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:07 PM

    Norcal….Your missing the point!!!

    The trip in itself would have been fine, but the organisation of it was HORRIFIC! Our shocking defence need the most practice, yet they were the ones unable to play on the plastic pitch. Ok, a freindly is to give people a run out, but a back 4 of Bigi, satka (the only actual defender), fergy and aarons?? Haway, man! Just because we are not chelsea doesnt mean we should be finishung a tour with that sort of line up.

  • 5 GeordieTwo // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:08 PM

    Why would Joao Mutinho want to come to the northeast. He suddenly developed an urge to get cold and wet over and over again? It’s just press bollocks. We’ve shot our bolt with Wij, Mit, and Mybimbo.

  • 6 scottoon // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:09 PM

    This one is not happening. Simply no truth to it whatsoever….IMO. Next.

  • 7 GeordieTwo // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:09 PM

    Mike is already sobbing quietly and looking inside his purse. All that lovely dosh gone……

  • 8 GeordieTwo // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:10 PM

    Build around Mybimbo!!!! We need more CB’s!!! Now that we know Fergie can play CB I’m worried we’ll stop looking for anyone else…Harrumph.

  • 9 Rainrix // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:11 PM

    Somebody didn’t read the articallll…….

  • 10 kevymartins // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:12 PM

    From previous post. McClaren said the players didn’t play vs timbers because they didn’t know how to play on the pitch. And tbf the ball was moving all over the place. Them pitches are useless and poor satka got the wrong end of it making mistakes and a sh!tty surface.

  • 11 GeordieTwo // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:12 PM

    Who knew that Fergie was a natural CB except Mike Ashley?? That man is just amazing!!!

  • 12 YouCouldn'tMakeItUp // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:12 PM


    The fact is,we had no youngsters available in defence, appart from satka and Lascelles. I would have accepted satka and lascelles starting at CB, Bigi getting a run out at rb is not so bad fitness wise, but fergy could have played LB (even though he is really a lw imo). The pitch is sited as the reason that this did not happen, and SM did not want to risk injuring people on it. Apparently bigger guys suffer more. Lascelles is a big bloke, colo et.c get injured on candy floss.

  • 13 PompeyJohn // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:13 PM

    If we sign him too I can only imagine someone else is leaving (Sissoko) to make room in midfield/wage bill especially if we are still after Thauvin? We still need another very good centre half.

  • 14 GeordieTwo // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:14 PM

    I hate it when the ball moves all over the place kevy mate. They scored three in 17 minutes against us so apparently Portland don’t mind when the ball moves around.

  • 15 Wijnotthen // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:15 PM

    HAHAHAHAA his wages will be way too high….

    don’t get dragged into it people come on

  • 16 YouCouldn'tMakeItUp // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:16 PM


    Just shows that being used to poor surfaces helps. We had 11 men trying not to get hurt in the first half. Aarons obviously got used to it in the end 😀

  • 17 JackButler // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:17 PM

    BS alert.
    BS alert.
    BS alert.

  • 18 YouCouldn'tMakeItUp // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:18 PM

    Joao Moutinho in a toon top

    There is a phrase that contains the words ‘Felnwicks’, ‘window’, and ‘Arse’ that springs to mind.

  • 19 GeordieTwo // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:18 PM

    The King of Cool, Steve McLaren. Did anyone see him in The Great Escape? Very nice…

  • 20 YouCouldn'tMakeItUp // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:19 PM

    Might I add


  • 21 LewSpi v2.0 // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:19 PM

    Story has more shades of excrement to it than Jorge Bacao has tweets

  • 22 Zangwill_Ho // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:20 PM

    Geordie two said Joao Moutinho is coming and leaving then, shit!

  • 23 GeordieTwo // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:21 PM

    Good point Zangwill mate!

  • 24 89Norcal // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:21 PM


    So I was just talking to myself in the last post 🙂

    I agree though, that was way too weak of a backline.

  • 25 Toon-Prodigy // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:23 PM

    Another Midfielder!!

    Wondering if I’d be happy and positive if say a CF and another CB was brought in.. Would that be enough? A show of intent?

    Winger needed also like but that would be enough for me.

  • 26 will die for the toon army // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:23 PM


  • 27 GeordieTwo // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:25 PM

    Hmmmmm ManU are looking for another CB. We could sell them Fergie for about 15M or so……Yes, I believe I’ll email Lee about that straight away….

  • 28 GeordieTwo // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:26 PM

    In fact I’m going to call Schteve the King of Cool from now on. Until his first big mistake and then he’s the Wally with the Brolly……

  • 29 Bambams // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:26 PM

    Shaqiri is a hopeful possibility!

    If you think about it we have started something here ( I hope) Wini mentioned it when he signed ‘ I want to be part of this plan’….

    Three very good signings and in my opinion we only need a solid unit alongside Mbemba (Van dijk) and what we have missed for ages ‘Beardsley’ type player who has that pass nobody else spotted…SDJ could possibly, Wini is also a possibility BUT Shaqiri has got that. Would be brilliant link up through the middle. IMO

    He could be bought 12-15 million.

    What a player thus fella is

  • 30 89Norcal // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:28 PM

    Charlie Austin considering chelsea?

    He’d make an excellent Left Out for them

  • 31 TheToonKing // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:28 PM

    whaaaaa ??

    I’d like this, but we need other positions strengthened…..I also don’t believe it 😀

  • 32 JackButler // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:29 PM

    We need defenders not another midfielder, a striker would see someone have to move on but its at the back where we still have serious issues

  • 33 beermonkey // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:29 PM

    so have we signed the defender with more bdays than the queen

  • 34 GeordieTwo // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:29 PM

    Shaqiri is another pipe dream Bambams mate. Along with Moutinho. Nothing to see here….move along now ladies and gents…..

  • 35 GeordieTwo // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:30 PM

    He’s 24 or 27 or 28 or something like that! That’s all we need to know. That and his name beermonkey mate.
    Cancel! Cancel!
    Cancel Mybimbo!!!

  • 36 JackButler // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:32 PM


    We are said to be in a race with Everton and Shalke for Shaqiri, he’s not getting any game time at Inter and has been told he can leave, so maybe there is some truth to this story

  • 37 Noel Worst // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:33 PM

    Any schmuck can assume an identity and make up a rumour and it catches like wildfire with the credulous, desperate sect of NUFC fans, as this proves.

    Do they have zero ability to think critically?

    Anyway, Mbemba spotted by our eager espionage sect of NUFC fans as expected 😀

    After this flurry of activity I think it may settle down for a week or so, Austin will go all the way to deadline day I reckon, contingent on Cisse leaving. Just hope we don’t allow Cisse to leave last minute and then fail to get a replacement ‘over the line’.

  • 38 Bambams // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:34 PM

    Can’t argue fella….It’s a hopeful one I know.
    Just read that Stoke had come in for him, he could be available and that Mitrovic, Wini and Mbemba have all messaged him on fb to come and be part of this new era… ( well you never know)

  • 39 lukes26 // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:35 PM

    I just did a google search for Jorge Bacao & it seems the only results for this name are in reference to this transfer rumour

  • 40 89Norcal // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:35 PM

    Noel Worst

    That line seems more like a minefield doesn’t it

  • 41 YouCouldn'tMakeItUp // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:39 PM


    Have you actually c9me across anybody who believes this,though?? Can’t really say anyone on here does.

  • 42 nightfa11 // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:41 PM

    Another CM

    So we’ll have

    + kemen

    12 central midfielders.. We really need to start selling.. Half of them can go..

  • 43 scottoon // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:43 PM

    Whoa! Slow down G2. Fergie is a top top prospect. Northern Ireland International. Can play anywhere along the back four, midfield, reserves, Scottish League 2, Brum. Really caught the eye of Jokin Ear once upon a time while in Birmingham. Has two good feet, which is to say he is bipedal. Looks young enough to be Chancel’s son although genetically unlikely.

    Let’s get him signed up to a long term contract…..8 years should be enough. Slap a 30 million price tag on him, declare him untouchable, and then sell him to the bindippers for 35 million.

    Job done!

  • 44 GeordieTwo // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:45 PM

    Why have we not signed a new contract with Aarons YCMIU mate? Is it just more of the same madness we get every day from this club? What are they trying to accomplish?

  • 45 LewSpi v2.0 // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:45 PM

    Got this weird feeling when I think about the current team. It’s not

    “we need a player for this spot, he played there for half a game in 2011, he’ll do”

    its more

    “oh, but if I play him there then that means he’s not in and I like him”

    Peculiar, can’t remember it happening before.

  • 46 GeordieTwo // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:47 PM

    Spot on scottoon mate! Now you’re thinking like Charmless!!! Put some 6″ elevator boots on him, pad him up a bit and sell him as a 6 ft 4 in. CB man monster!!!!

  • 47 Tsunki // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:47 PM

    Be good to watch Joe Mojito rum up the lime, reckon he’d be mint. But I’m afraid this is just another cocktail.

    Don’t forget to tip your waitress aaaaand try the ribeye – it’s delicious!

  • 48 LGFUAD21 // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:49 PM

    This is a hoax.

    According to a what culture article the twitter account has only been active 24 hours and the profile picture is of a man who was murdered in 2011.

    Not credible and by all accounts he will go to Arsenal who need to replace Arteta and Flamini.

    If he were going for £9m you could guarantee some bigger clubs would be after him. Juve need a replacement for Pirlo.

  • 49 toonicle // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:50 PM

    10M on another MF player? Even if he wanted to come here which I seriously doubt, there’s much better ways to spend that money right now.

  • 50 89Norcal // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:51 PM

    Auto correct running amok in this post I think

    Who’s this Joe Mojito guy? Sounds like someone you’d meet at a Miami nightclub 🙂

  • 51 YouCouldn'tMakeItUp // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:51 PM


    I don’t know mate. Aarons is the type of player we should be getting on long term contracts. The future of our club is in the balance when we mess about like this.

  • 52 89Norcal // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:52 PM

    Ah Tsunki should of read on in your post. Lol

    And my auto correct would prefer to call you Tsukini

  • 53 GeordieTwo // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:52 PM

    Right then here’s wor starting 11 for the first Prem game based on our terrific set of rumours:
    Janmaat Mybimbo Abdennour Azpilicueta
    Shaqiri The Wij SDJ Neymar
    Mit Ronaldo

  • 54 GeordieTwo // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:53 PM

    Tsukini!! I like it!! The Great Tsukini!!!

  • 55 Belfast // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:53 PM

    Sorry to piss on everybody’s chips but the guy pictured on the Twitter account is Carlos Castro and he’s actually dead.

  • 56 Tsunki // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:54 PM

    Yes norcal – I was stirred by this story but not shaken. I think the guy who made this story is a bit mixed up.

  • 57 scottoon // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:55 PM

    Think we might be on to something here, G2 mate. I reckon one of those sumo suits ought to do the trick. Could just paint the uniform straight on the suit and save the costs of making new kit as well. Might just deck out the whole side that way., with the exception of the Belgian midget strikers of course.

  • 58 JP...from The Rock // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:56 PM

    Moutinho is a good player but doesn’t score enough from midfield really. I prefer Shaquiri. But beggars can’t be choosers. I think this is bullsh1t from the agent try to force Arsenal into signing him tbh.

  • 59 GeordieTwo // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:56 PM

    Excellent post @47 by the way Great Tsukini. You are in fine fettle today my friend.

  • 60 89Norcal // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:56 PM

    I’m trying to figure out wtf a Tsukini is. Must be some sort of shamanistic, zucchini composed swimwear

  • 61 Noel Worst // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:57 PM


    Not on here, no. Plenty on social media given it more credence than it warrants though. From that we’ll just have to conclude the general intelligence level on here is greater than Twatter and the like 😉



  • 62 89Norcal // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:57 PM


    Lol well done

  • 63 Altamullan // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:58 PM

    Apparently he completely overshadowed Ozil when Monaco played Arsenal in Champ League this year. Deep lying playmaker type role. Suspect he would be just what they were looking for. I’ve just realised my lack of loyalty to our lads, as I would gladly sell two of them to bring him in. Shameful…

  • 64 GeordieTwo // Jul 23, 2015 at 5:58 PM

    What’s that you say Belfast? Carlos Castro is dead? So we won’t be signing him then? Or is it just a lower signing on bonus for him?

  • 65 Tsunki // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:00 PM

    G2 thank you I sometimes think my work goes largely unappreciated. Actually just unappreciated. If we’re going for Joe Mojito, we could swoop for Big Ron Collins, who despite the name is a Cuban legend! Apparently though he’s got a weakness for coke.

  • 66 Belfast // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:00 PM

    Using a dead man’s picture to peddle your bullshit is a bit sick like

  • 67 Toon-Prodigy // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:01 PM

    Charlie Austin, Joel Matip or that dutch winger Boetius for the next signing. What I reckon anyway!

  • 68 LewSpi v2.0 // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:02 PM

    I’m not being funny but can you imagine any of our current players (never mind CBs) being able to score a goal like this at 53 seconds

  • 69 switch365 // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:02 PM

    I’ve decided to give him another chance.
    I feel Willo has more to offer the toon, he just isn’t capable of playing in his current role of central defender.

    I propose he be ‘switched’ to left back …

    in the US of A!

  • 70 LGFUAD21 // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:02 PM

    For me CB and goalscoring winger should be our priorities.

    Second priorities should be CDM and Striker.

    I’m not so worried about striker as I think we’ll play one up top and we have Cisse and Mitrovic both capable of leading the line.

    As a second strike partner we have Perez, De Jong, and either of the above two that isnt up top.

    Then we have Young Rivi and Arma for desperate days.

    Even if Cisse and Mitrovic get injured SDJ has played the lone striker role before.

    CBs we have some but not good enough.

    Out of our CBs though

    Mbemba – Looks exciting
    Colo – Think he gets too much stick. Is good enough when interested enough
    Saylor – Decent when he can stay fit – thats questionable though
    Dummet – Future CB IMO, still young and developing. Has always looked half decent in that position – NOT A LB
    Lacelles – Jury is still out.

    Willo can easily be sacked off if there is a buyer.
    Colo i would only let leave if we have a proven CB to replace.

    I would loan out Dummet for the first 6 months if we had

    Colo/New CB

    fit come opening day.

    If we get injuries he can come in for the second half of the season.

    The only wingers we have that i rate are

    Aarons – Still unproven
    Cabella – May come good
    Perez – Could play wide in a front 3

    Gouffran, Obertan are not making the cut for me. neither is Sammy – Maybe sign and loan out.

    And those 3 above dont guarantee much needed assists and goals.

    Thats why i think the next priority needs to be a goalscoring winger or an assist giver.

    Our problem for the past few seasons is that our goals only come from 1 player.

  • 71 Tsunki // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:02 PM

    G2 hang on hang on let’s not be hasty death is not the be all and end all oh well actually it is BUT that shouldn’t get in the way of a bargain! Another Dr. Steadman fixer-upper, cheap wages.

  • 72 GeordieTwo // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:03 PM

    It’s times like these when I have slight doubts about the brilliance of Charmless. Aarons still with no contract. Kemen apparently not signed. Fergie, wor hidden gem CB not kept under wraps…..What is going on?? Sneaky Americans with narsty top secret artificial turf pitches…..We need explanations I say!!!

  • 73 Tsunki // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:04 PM

    LGFUAD monster post really killed my groove. Wasted talent.

  • 74 Belfast // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:04 PM

    No G2 this Jorge Bacao who broke the Moutinho story is using a dead mans picture on his twitter account.

    Weirdo haha

  • 75 jesperfuglsang - capt'n awesome of the lemon crew // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:05 PM

    My phone is dead; just come back from holiday!

    Any news worth sharing?

  • 76 toonincheek // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:05 PM

    G2 – his agent will make a killing!

  • 77 Tsunki // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:06 PM

    Norcal @60 I’m going to have a couple of paracetamol and lie down in the dark after that horrendous mental image. 😐

  • 78 Tsunki // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:08 PM

    Jesper, just a blog load of silly stories debunking the rumour started by a dead guy on twitter. Some people,are really determined to be Wum’s.

  • 79 toonincheek // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:09 PM

    Given his injury problems last season, it would have been madness to offer Aarons a long term contract until he had shown he was over his injury problems and was fully fit.

    Other clubs were showing an interest, but they too would wait until he was clearly over his injuries, fully fit, playing and again showing his potential.

  • 80 GeordieTwo // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:10 PM

    Some interesting thoughts on wingers:
    Aarons: promising and young, so let’s not get him signed up. Dangle him a bit, get him uneasy and then fong his agent silly. Finally, if necessary, sign him.
    Obertan: known for his brilliant forays in the world of takeaway deliveries. Excellent runner if not required to bring the ball with him. Definitely a keeper according to Charmless.
    Gouffy: a half decent player when he first came to us. Destroyed by some brilliant coaching from Percy,Johnny C. and the lads. Now not worth much at all. Another definite keeper according to Charmless.
    Cabella: a very expensive disappointment. Loves the stepover and can play himself out of position very quickly when in the right frame of mind.

  • 81 reilly // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:11 PM

    this story was proved to be total bs hours ago,so why put it up.

  • 82 GeordieTwo // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:12 PM

    Your phone is as dead as wor next brilliant signing Carlos Castro jesper mate! The excitement is building!! People are being fonged!!! Wingers are wanted…..This is tremendous…..

  • 83 Belfast // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:14 PM

    Aye Jesper somebody who was murdered in 2011 in a New York hotel has came back from the dead with a new identity and is now breaking transfer stories on twitter.

    Just a normal day in blogville really.

  • 84 LewSpi v2.0 // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:16 PM

    Forgive me but is blogville just next to Optimism Valley? Or are they worlds apart?

  • 85 scottoon // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:18 PM

    I do wonder if we are being a bit hasty in dismissing stories simply because they are made up by dead guys.

  • 86 GeordieTwo // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:18 PM

    WE have all the top sources here jesper mate. Get your phone fixed and get caught up. We’re definitely signing Moutinho, Shaqiri, Tom Collins, Charlie Austin, Joel Matip, Fidel Castro, and quite possibly Vidal Sassoon!!!

  • 87 ToonFromLeeds // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:19 PM

    Evening all, been for another walk today and hopefully could be home by Monday.

    So what’s new today? apart from a link given through Derek Acorah?

  • 88 ToonFromLeeds // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:20 PM

    Isn’t Tom Collins a cocktail?

  • 89 GeordieTwo // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:20 PM

    Bring out ya dead! Boom!
    Bring out ya dead! Boom!
    We’ll sign them and sell them on!!

  • 90 YouCouldn'tMakeItUp // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:22 PM

    Hang on.

    Were they using a dead bloke and saying it was moutinho,or is it the guys profile pic.


    Imagine how low the bid for a dead player could be!!

  • 91 GeordieTwo // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:22 PM

    Negative TFL mate. Tom Collins is a famous dead CB we’re trying desperately to sign. Please refer to earlier posts by the Great Tsukini, Belfast. YCMIU, and others for details. Remember, you heard it here first mate!

  • 92 scottoon // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:24 PM

    If I read this all correctly, I take it that Graham Carr is a parapsychologist and a medium that talks to the dead. He also fancies a tipple. Thus the list of transfer targets that G2 is referring to.

  • 93 Belfast // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:25 PM

    Blogville is neutral ground. The happy people hang out in optimisim valley.

  • 94 GeordieTwo // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:25 PM

    No that’s not it YCMIU mate. Actually what is happening is quite complicated. Moutinho, who is actually a little bit under the weather has assumed the identity of Carlos Castro in order to send misleading tweets about himself to Belfast who is reporting them on here. Have you got that now?

  • 95 Bambams // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:25 PM

    Great to hear fella. Just take it easy.
    Plenty on this blog to keep you busy.

  • 96 Belfast // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:26 PM

    It’s only a petrol bomb throw away from optimsim valley.

  • 97 ToonFromLeeds // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:28 PM

    I will ty Bambams.
    Oh yes and G2’s comic affect keeps me smiling 🙂

  • 98 YouCouldn'tMakeItUp // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:28 PM


    Ah, right….. so who actually faked the moon landings?

  • 99 YouCouldn'tMakeItUp // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:30 PM


    Glad to see you getting stronger,mate. Have you finalised the mbemba signing yet? And how much are we going to pay Moutinho? 😀

  • 100 YouCouldn'tMakeItUp // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:31 PM

    I am just happy camping out on cautious optimism glade.

  • 101 Belfast // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:32 PM

    Lifeguard I only just seen your post about the deed guy. I thought I had an exclusive right there lol

    Luke 26
    If you can’t find out anything by searching their name and they have a picture of a human as their profile picture click on it and search Google for this image that usually does the trick.

  • 102 ShirebrookToon // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:33 PM

    Soccer Sauce ?@soccer_sauce 7h7 hours ago
    Soccer Sauce retweeted WhatCultureNUFC
    And people still believe what these guys report? Nothing to see here … #NUFC
    Soccer Sauce added,

    WhatCultureNUFC @WhatCultureNUFC
    WOW! Joao Moutinho “Due For #NUFC Medical” As He Looks To Complete £9.5 Move

  • 103 ToonFromLeeds // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:34 PM

    YCMIU I couldn’t convince Mike to pay 9 Million for a 28 year old no sell on value 🙁 lol

  • 104 GeordieTwo // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:35 PM

    The moon itself is a fake YCMIU mate. It’s just a picture of Mike Ashley’s arse projected into the night sky using a hologram. That should explain the large black crater in the centre I believe…..

  • 105 ShirebrookToon // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:36 PM

    Soccer Sauce ?@soccer_sauce 10h10 hours ago
    Soccer Sauce retweeted Soccer Sauce
    After having an initial bid for him rejected in June-Newcastle still keeping tabs on Antonio Rudiger … #NUFC

  • 106 YouCouldn'tMakeItUp // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:38 PM


    come on, lad. Get a low bit put in for Joe Mouskateer. 2.3M rupees should do it.

  • 107 YouCouldn'tMakeItUp // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:39 PM


    What? That means there are people who have thought they were making love in the moonlight, where as they were actually just humping while staring romantically at a huge projection of Mashleys BUMHOLE!!!

  • 108 Belfast // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:41 PM

    Quite funny seeing one bullshitter having a go at another bullshitter for bullshitting.

    It turns out most people new hours ago he wasn’t a real account apart from me and Ed Harrison. In my defence I’m not on twitter. 🙂

  • 109 YouCouldn'tMakeItUp // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:42 PM

    “Oh my darling, I love you so much. Mike’s baloon-knot looks so big tonight”

  • 110 beefman13 // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:44 PM

    Whatever we say about buying just to sell on, only three of note that we would like to have kept, being Cabaye, Carroll, and Debuchy have left and all three asked for a transfer and were desperate to leave and none forced out.

  • 111 scottoon // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:47 PM

    So Ashley’s ass is responsible for the tides? How does that work?

    Maybe I don’t want to know…..

  • 112 Altamullan // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:48 PM

    I bet Moon-Mash still wouldn’t give a Farouk…

  • 113 GeordieTwo // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:49 PM

    Yes….I’m afraid it’s all true YCMIU…..
    But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
    It is the east, and Mike Ashley’s bum!

  • 114 Belfast // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:49 PM

    I see Crystal Palace have signed Alex McCarthy that should put an end to the Kruk to Palace rumours

  • 115 Belfast // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:50 PM

    Yep Kruk is Krul

  • 116 Altamullan // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:51 PM

    Balloon-knot… lol

  • 117 GeordieTwo // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:53 PM

    Even Shakespeare knew the truth.

  • 118 GeordieTwo // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:55 PM

    It’s a gnarly old world out there lads. Once you discover the truth that is. YCMIU is having a difficult time of it right now but he’ll get over this as well.

  • 119 scottoon // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:55 PM

    Is it any wonder that bizarre things happen when there is a full moon?

  • 120 GeordieTwo // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:59 PM

    Yes, madness increases with the full moon scottoon. And howling. Staring at it drives you mad and makes you want to howl. It all makes sense now…..

  • 121 Mr Magpie // Jul 23, 2015 at 6:59 PM

    I am happy with the first three signings, finally buying in quality.

    However i am very surprised we have not been in for players in the final year of their contracts like we usually do, although there is still time.

    Maybe a change of plan from Ashley or has McClaren got far more influence than we thought?

  • 122 GeordieTwo // Jul 23, 2015 at 7:02 PM

    There is always time for a lowball bid Mr. Magpie mate. Never doubt that.

  • 123 GeordieTwo // Jul 23, 2015 at 7:03 PM

    Very funny YCMIU mate @109!!!

  • 124 YouCouldn'tMakeItUp // Jul 23, 2015 at 7:04 PM

    Who can forget that great “Waterboys” song.

    I saw the crescent, you saw the whole of his hoop.

  • 125 Toon-Prodigy // Jul 23, 2015 at 7:05 PM

    It’s the sales we need to be concerned with really..

    3 postive steps forward so far, if there is no sales the structure has deffo changed.

    But what is the odds?

  • 126 YouCouldn'tMakeItUp // Jul 23, 2015 at 7:06 PM

    Blue hoooop, you saw me standing alonnnnne, without a low bid in my hearrrrrt,without a cheap player of my owwwwn.

  • 127 YouCouldn'tMakeItUp // Jul 23, 2015 at 7:07 PM

    And “I see,a bad moon rising” really needs no changes 😀

  • 128 YouCouldn'tMakeItUp // Jul 23, 2015 at 7:13 PM

    Ok. I am killing the blog. I will stop.

  • 129 potski // Jul 23, 2015 at 7:15 PM

    There is another possibility with the CB’s not playing the other night. Mitrovic didn’t play two friendlies as his old club couldn’t afford the risk that he would be injured just before the deal was signed. Taylor or Williamson are probably lined up to be sold. Colo was injured anyway, and probably wouldn’t have been played on grass. Would you risk Lascelles in those circumstances, when it was not a nailed on certainty that we would get anyone else to come in before the first EPL game?

    How did the team talk go before the match, “XYZ are not playing lads, because this pitch could injure them. The rest of you, well it might injure you as well, but don’t worry. Cisse you won’t be starting against S’ton, Abeid you won’t be starting, Gouffran you definitely won’t be starting. Aarons you won’t be starting, but you might get 20 mins off the bench. Bigi, Ferguson you know you will be on loan somewhere, still no place for you in the squad, show what you can do on a crap pitch because that’s what you will be playing on in the lower leagues. Gini I can’t leave you out and explain it to the media, so put a bit of effort in for 20-25 mins to show what you are capable of, but not too much, I’ll take you off at half time”

  • 130 Altamullan // Jul 23, 2015 at 7:22 PM

    Ever thought of taking up coaching Potski? Sports psychology, perhaps?

  • 131 potski // Jul 23, 2015 at 7:23 PM


    I disagree. The structure has definitely changed if you sell off players who are surplus to requirements because they are replaced by better players. We can’t claim that the regime has not improved at all if they bring in 4-5 good players and sell Williamson or Gouffran. Unfortunately they are not able to sell Riviere and Cabella due to injuries.

  • 132 Altamullan // Jul 23, 2015 at 7:23 PM

    99 red balloon (knot)s, blocking out the Tyneside sky…

  • 133 welshgeordie9 // Jul 23, 2015 at 7:30 PM

    Us signing Austin is about the same odds as me running around newcastle naked.

    Not going to happen.

  • 134 ToonFromLeeds // Jul 23, 2015 at 7:34 PM

    I’ll remind you of that when he signs Welshie lol

  • 135 will die for the toon army // Jul 23, 2015 at 7:36 PM

    It is a boring and dull day. Not even Mbemba’s photo put me in the mood

  • 136 welshgeordie9 // Jul 23, 2015 at 7:38 PM


    There is a method to my madness, nice to see you back on here mate.

  • 137 welshgeordie9 // Jul 23, 2015 at 7:39 PM

    will die for the toon army

    Why are you in a bad mood.

  • 138 DeanToon88 // Jul 23, 2015 at 7:45 PM

    Newcastle united are going to have a unreal season and win a cup, mark my words, good things are coming tonewcastle united. I can see it, Aarons is going to be unreal for us, mitrovic is going to bang in loads of goals and wijaldum is going to nock a fair few in as well, were also gunna get our revenge on Sunderland by beating them twice


  • 139 Toon-Prodigy // Jul 23, 2015 at 7:45 PM


    But we ain’t done that yet..

    We all know who should be gone, but regardless, there is a strong chance atleast to me we could just be replacing here. And then continuing the structure that has been witnessed for a long while that dosn’t hold many rewards.

    It’s picking at me that not one player has been sold as yet at the Toon. Makes me think they are holding out to bring in season tickets. I know that could be wrong but the way this regime has operated over the past 8 years is the reason I think this way. It has to be noted we have not shifted in 8 years where the squad is concerned only plans to make money and see ourselves as self sufficient.

    If there is no sales, it’s looking good.

  • 140 scottoon // Jul 23, 2015 at 7:49 PM

    So who here really believes the rumours of a big surprise signing? I am skeptical. I cant see any deal of substance slipping under the radar. Would like it to happen, but I am not expecting it.

  • 141 dok - the horrid colonial // Jul 23, 2015 at 7:53 PM


    weve been surprised by the two or three signings thus far… never have we paid so much out , so im somehow optomistic

  • 142 scottoon // Jul 23, 2015 at 7:58 PM

    Dok – I took the surprise to mean the identity of the player, rather than how much we have been willing to spend. I must confess that I am pleasantly surprised at the cash outlay thus far, but the identities of the targets were known long before the deal was finalized.

  • 143 JackButler // Jul 23, 2015 at 8:01 PM

    I think any surprise signing won’t be that much of a surprise, can’t see anyone other than Austin or Shaqiri being the one to leave us all astounded……………….which in all truth it would surprise the hell out of me if we were able to,pull either one off

  • 144 outsidethebox // Jul 23, 2015 at 8:05 PM

    jose enrique …that would be a surprise signing….need a left sided centre back

  • 145 scottoon // Jul 23, 2015 at 8:06 PM

    I can see us getting Austin, but not sure that would actually be a wise purchase now that we have a true number nine in Mitro. Shaquiri would truly surprise me. Still 5 plus weeks in the window, so I suppose there is plenty of time for shock moves in the weeks to come.

  • 146 JackButler // Jul 23, 2015 at 8:14 PM

    On Shaqiri, he has been told that he is now surplus to requirements and can leave Inter, it’s being reported that its now a race between us, Everton and Shalke so who knows.

    On Austin, it would mean that someone would have to be sold as there’s no way we will carry five strikers, Rivière would be the best choice to go, but I’d only put him out on a season long loan so he can try to regain some confidence

  • 147 ~Anita One Bites The Dust~ // Jul 23, 2015 at 8:19 PM

    I’d like a Craig Bellamy type striker. Just without the attitude.

  • 148 nightfa11 // Jul 23, 2015 at 8:25 PM

    just offer rivi, goufrann, obertan (and maybe cabella) to marseille for thauvin.. they need offensive players considering they’ve lost ayew, payet, etc.. and they proved they are good enough for french league..

  • 149 Toon-Prodigy // Jul 23, 2015 at 8:26 PM

    Can’t go wrong having an experienced Prem striker on our books. He is better than Mitrovic. Big risk this Mitrovic at 20 yrs old but would love him to do well.

    I’v mentioned before the last time the Toon had a striker who done 18 goals was Shearer more than 10 yrs ago. Never get a proper forward like that for 15 mil again especially English. Should be snapped up and done by now. It’s QPR and the 15 mil price which is holding it back but worth every penny I think.

  • 150 ToonFromLeeds // Jul 23, 2015 at 8:29 PM

    I wholeheartedly agree with you

  • 151 Noel Worst // Jul 23, 2015 at 8:34 PM

    Nah, we’re absolutely doing the right thing with Austin. This is one transfer I’m happy for us to play hardball over now we’ve secured Mitrovic who looks arguably a more rounded player already. Not an essential signing. A year left on his contract and they want £15m? Austin wants away, QPR will be afraid of having an unhappy player, their most valuable asset, able to speak to other clubs in 6 months and leave on a free come the end of the season. Sir Les can be as stoic as he likes right now, but they’ll blink and accept a lesser price the closer we get to deadline day and everybody knows it, which is why they’ve had no firm offers.

  • 152 Toon-Prodigy // Jul 23, 2015 at 8:44 PM


    It’s the best thing so long as we get him. Lose him, well..

    Alot of hopes pinned on this Mitrovic lad im not convinced, where I know Austin can handle this league and is at the age with experience where he will continue banging them in providing service.

    Mitrovic smells of resale if he does well rather than building also, if that is the case i’ll be disappointed.

    I do hope the structure has changed and we actually build a squad to try and win something this year.

  • 153 Bambams // Jul 23, 2015 at 8:56 PM

    I actually now think we will sign Austin.
    Maybe he was our initial target but wanted assurances we were going to sign good players – Done that.
    Hardball between the club’s and in next week or so he will sign for ‘Undisclosed’ fee.
    QPR will leak it was almost 15 million, Lee Ryder will throw out under 10 million.
    The fact he hasn’t signed for anyone else when so many are after him makes me think it will happen.
    QPR could as some have said, lose millions if he stays.
    I am sure I saw Shaqiri in Sainsbury Northumberland Park an hour ago…..

  • 154 John Tudor // Jul 23, 2015 at 9:00 PM

    using elvis’s checkout

  • 155 ToonFromLeeds // Jul 23, 2015 at 9:07 PM

    uh oh

  • 156 Belfast // Jul 23, 2015 at 9:11 PM

    Truth is nobody on this blog really knows how this Mitrovic bloke is going to do. He looks a good player but he hasn’t had 1 minute of English football in his puff. Signing Charlie Austin or somebody with similar experience of the division is still a must in my opinion.

    Same goes for the central defence situation. Signing a centre back with experience of the division is a must. Ashley Williams, Ryan Shawcross or somebody of similar ilk would be great.

  • 157 ToonFromLeeds // Jul 23, 2015 at 9:13 PM

    Ashley Williams is 30 can’t see mashers buying him

  • 158 Rotonda heights // Jul 23, 2015 at 9:16 PM


    tbf we could have signed mitro and wijnaldum much earlier in their careers for far less money

  • 159 poon army // Jul 23, 2015 at 9:17 PM


    The CNN article quoted in that mirror link is from 2013. The issue has been resolved since. Probably the laziest bit of journalism yet, which is saying something

  • 160 overtheline // Jul 23, 2015 at 9:19 PM


    Why dio so many clubs take the chance with players if their unproven in the EPL then. Surely ability and past performance are pretty good guides.
    We’ve been linked with both Vertonghen and

  • 161 lochinvar // Jul 23, 2015 at 9:19 PM

    FIFA can take a running jump.
    Doesn’t matter what age Mwemba is – anyway Age discrimination is illegal.
    Compared to Blatters antics how old the lad is doesn’t seem too important.

  • 162 overtheline // Jul 23, 2015 at 9:20 PM

    alderwerield -in the oast and both have worked out well for their sides

  • 163 Belfast // Jul 23, 2015 at 9:20 PM

    I was thinking the same poone nearly sure I read that CNN article yesterday and it was from months ago.

    Tfl Ashley Williams has another five years in him at least. Sometimes you have to look beyond the re-sale value of a player.

  • 164 ToonFromLeeds // Jul 23, 2015 at 9:22 PM

    I agree with you Belfast but does Mashley look at it that way?

  • 165 Toon-Prodigy // Jul 23, 2015 at 9:30 PM

    I don’t know about anyone else but im disappointed so far that we havn’t bought players with experience of this league.

    We have again went down the untested route.

    Which as always means the excuse of bedding in time.

    Why do we never sign from or try with other clubs in this League? Is it only wages? Are we hated? Overpriced?

    It’s like we are off on our own, but it’s not working.

  • 166 Thump // Jul 23, 2015 at 9:31 PM

    @TFL: Good to see you back, mate!

    Mbemba’s age was sorted out when he moved to Anderlecht. He was actually sent back to his Congolese club while it was taken care of. He’s 20.

  • 167 Terry // Jul 23, 2015 at 9:37 PM

    Austin or mitrovic why?Just get both before mikey gets another bang on the head and it reverses what ever happened.

  • 168 Belfast // Jul 23, 2015 at 9:37 PM

    Do you think those two would have been a success with us alongside Coloccini or Williamson over the line ? I don’t haha

    I don’t mind Signing this four birthdays bloke like. I’d just rather see him played alongside a proper centre half like Ashley Williams rather than Coloccini the mouse or some other import with no experience of the division.

  • 169 lochinvar // Jul 23, 2015 at 9:40 PM

    Thump@166and others
    You’re right.
    A number of players have undergone bone scans which determine age.
    It was old news recycled by the Mirror, clearly the Journo wasn’t acting his age.

  • 170 Belfast // Jul 23, 2015 at 9:43 PM

    No Toon from Leeds no re- sale value = no deal

  • 171 Tsunki // Jul 23, 2015 at 9:46 PM

    Is the Mbemba medical taking so long because of the Carbon Dating procedure?

  • 172 Tsunki // Jul 23, 2015 at 9:47 PM

    Or do they just saw him in half and count the rings?

  • 173 Jail for Ashley // Jul 23, 2015 at 9:52 PM

    At long last, with something else better to talk about, the moronic welshgeordie9 is not getting the attention he so desperately wants.

  • 174 LewSpi v2.0 // Jul 23, 2015 at 9:53 PM

    Toon Prodigy

    Who would you buy?

    Top 4/5 cast offs? Or newly promoted/relegated teams stars? Mid table clubs, where we are, sure ain’t gonna sell you their best players.

  • 175 Tsunki // Jul 23, 2015 at 9:54 PM

    It shows just how irrelevant Eds articles are to the conversations ha ha, tonight hundreds of comments on a thread about a daft rumour from a wum impersonating a dead guy. What is it that you couldn`t do with this? Oh yes, you couldn` t make……..

  • 176 YouCouldn'tMakeItUp // Jul 23, 2015 at 9:57 PM


    You were about to call?? 😛

  • 177 welshgeordie9 // Jul 23, 2015 at 9:58 PM

    That’s rich coming from you.

  • 178 Belfast // Jul 23, 2015 at 10:04 PM

    Yeah Skunki Rip Carlos Castro. These Itk accounts are getting more inventive like. The individual whos picture your using can’t really complain when they’re dead I suppose.

  • 179 John Tudor // Jul 23, 2015 at 10:06 PM

    strange but true

  • 180 ToonFromLeeds // Jul 23, 2015 at 10:06 PM

    right guys this morphine sending me woozy, I’ll see goodnight, No news is good news I suppose 🙂
    speke tomorrrow

  • 181 lochinvar // Jul 23, 2015 at 10:07 PM

    Dzeko anyone ?
    On his way out of City and if they take half price for him then £14m should do the trick.
    Mystery signing ?

  • 182 King Colback // Jul 23, 2015 at 10:09 PM

    Dani Koks [a.k.a “Trialist”] bagged a brace in #NUFC U21’s 2-1 win over Utrecht tonight – following up from his goal against Vitesse.

  • 183 Menelauos // Jul 23, 2015 at 10:11 PM

    I honestly think we’re on the verge of a team worthy of European football, the signings Abdennour, Shaqiri and Moutinho would cost us around another £35million. But could you imagine the sides we could put together, a lot of depth and competition for places. We would be top class.

  • 184 Toon-Prodigy // Jul 23, 2015 at 10:15 PM


    10-15 mil players.. Or less.. far too many to list.

    Sure though, too many to list that would better this 25.

  • 185 shaun__ // Jul 24, 2015 at 1:34 AM

    Ed, what is going on. First off you’re reporting a years out of date Fifa investigation and now a story from a fake Twitter account with a dead guys pic, not one solitary other source! Brilliant

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