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News and Commentary On Newcastle United By Ed Harrison, A Proud Exiled Geordie And Lifelong Fan

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Pathetic Newcastle Hit New Low – Humiliated 5-1 By Chelsea

7:27 pm, Saturday, February 13th, 2016 by Dr. Ed Harrison · 27 Comments

Newcastle were literally taken apart by Chelsea in this game and once again a Newcastle side failed to turn up for an away game – and this result and performance should send alarm bells ringing very very loud at St. James’ Park.

Something must be done soon otherwise we will be relegated in May.

The only bright spot was a terrific goal from Andros Townsend at the death only the 7th goal we have score din 13 game son the road this season.

Newcastle were 1-0 down after only 5 minutes,  2-0 down after only 9 minutes and 3-0 down after 17 minutes at Stamford Bridge this afternoon as again our players were half asleep when the game started and w paid the cst and basically lost the game before 18 minutes had been played.

Chelsea went ahead after only 5 minutes when Willian was allowed to run though and put a through ball to Diego Costa who held off a half-hearted challenge form Taylor to put the ball past Rob Elliot.

It was all too easy for the Blues and once again our defense was left wanting and looked like a bunch of schoolboys.

pedro scores second goal

Pedro scoring his second goal and Chelsea’s fourth after 59 minutes
It was all too easy

And then following a Newcastle corner from Shelvey that was cleared and young Rolando Aaron made a terrible error as he tried to pass the ball inside and it was Pedro who was first on the ball.

The Spanish International broke clear and through on goal and hit the ball past Elliot before the goalkeeper knew what had happened.

costa scores first

Diego Costa scores easy first goal

2-0 down after 9 minutes and this was nothing short of another disaster.

It was always a risk to put Rolando in at Stamford Bridge and this kind of thing can happen at anytime when you are inexperienced.

The players and head coach have also been saying how we would attack Chelsea today – and then this happens.

But the Chelsea scoring wasn’t over and after 17 minutes Moussa Sissoko gave the ball away sloppily and a through ball was played to Costa who raced and beat Coloccini to the ball.

Costa looked up and put a beautiful ball through to Willian who hit the ball home as the Newcastle defense was torn apart by a rampaging Chelsea side.

willian scores

Willian scores Chelsea’s third

Daryl Janmaat and Cheick Tiote were the players closest to Willian and they started arguing with each other such was the complete disarray of this Newcastle side.

It was all to easy for Chelsea and this resembled out collapse at Manchester City but in that game we went ahead and at least we scored first and it was 1-1 at the half before the team collapsed.

The fact that McClaren has had all week to prepare this team after the fine win against West Brom last Saturday suggests  he is unable to get the best out of the squad – even though it has been fortified with four new players last month.

3-0 down after 17 minutes and Newcastle have scored only six goals in their previous 12 games on the road suggested very early in this game that it was all was over and Newcastle would be slipping into bottom three again – and 20 minutes of the game hadn’t even been players.

Chelsea noticeably eased off and it looked like they didn’t want to score 10 goals today – which it looked like they could if they had wanted to.

Newcastle tried to get into the game before the break but this was a losing cause and half time came and it was 3-0 with Newcastle players looking in a daze – that’s what you look like when you are just waking up.

At the start of the second half Jack Colback replaced Gini Wijnaldum and the coaching staff made it clear during the first half that they were not happy with the effort he was putting in.

After 59 minutes Pedro got his second goal of the game and it was all too easy as one pass split the Newcastle defense wide open.

Fabregas got the ball in midfield in his own half, looked up and put a high ball through to Pedro who was challenged by Steven Taylor – who missed the ball and Pedro controlled the ball easily and slid it past Elliot.

This was just schoolboy defending by Newcastle and the question is – where do we go from here?

This was turning into a complete nightmare performance by Newcastle with too many of our players hoping the ground would swallow them up.

It was a complete disgrace to Newcastle United Football Club.

McClaren made two changes as Cheick Tiote was replaced by Jamaal Lascelles after 67 minutes and then on came Seydou Doumbia for his debut after 70 minutes  for Aleksandar Mitrovic.

After 83 minutes Chelsea went 5-0 up and again it was terrible defending from Newcastle as Azpilicueta played a quick one two on the right wing and then crossed it where Traore put the ball home from about one yard out.

Each one of the Newcastle’s goals conceded today has been the result of pathetic defending and the Board will regret  not having strengthened the defense this season.

And then Andros Townsend scored his first goal for Newcastle and it was a terrific strike from the winger as Colback put him through just inside the half way line and Andros took it forward before hitting a terrific left foot shot past Courtois – a wonderful goal from the new signing.

This was a humiliation for Newcastle.

We now have just 24 points from 26 games and go behind Norwich City on goal difference after they drew at home 2-2 with West Ham after being 2-0 up with 16 minutes to play.

This was a nightmare performance from Newcastle – make no mistake about that.

We will be now be relegated if some changes are not made quickly.

Who Was Newcastles Best Player At Chelsea

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Chelsea (4-2-3-1): Thibaut Courtois; Branislav Ivanovic, Gary Cahill, John Terry (c), Cesar Azpilicueta; Nemanja Matic, Cesc Fabregas; Pedro, Willian, Eden Hazard; Diego Costa
Substitutes: Asmir Begovic, Baba Rahman, John Obi Mikel, Rueben Loftus-Cheek, Bertrand Traore, Kenedy, Loic Remy

Newcastle (4-2-3-1): Rob Elliot; Daryl Janmaat, Steven Taylor, Fabricio Coloccini (c), Rolando Aarons; Cheick Tiote (Jamaal Lascelles) 67, Jonjo Shelvey; Moussa Sissoko, Georginio Wijnaldum (Jack Colback 45), Andros Townsend; Aleksandar Mitrovic (Seydou Doumbia 70)
Substitutes not used: Karl Darlow,  Henri Saivet, Ayoze Perez, Emmanuel Riviere

Tags: Match Reports · Newcastle News · Poll · Prayer · Premier League · Press

27 responses so far ↓

  • 1 ilovetoon8788 // Feb 13, 2016 at 7:29 PM

    Sissoko must be dropped. Pathetic display. Disgrace.

  • 2 Tsunki // Feb 13, 2016 at 7:29 PM

    You know, all things considered, I think that game went rather well

  • 3 Goofy // Feb 13, 2016 at 7:29 PM

    Pmsl.. Who voted Taylor?

  • 4 TroubledToon // Feb 13, 2016 at 7:30 PM

    What will it take to sack Macca??????

  • 5 eaststandgeordie1982 // Feb 13, 2016 at 7:30 PM

    Sissoko is the same every week he’s horrendous not even worth a place on the bench

  • 6 Average_Contents // Feb 13, 2016 at 7:31 PM

    Wow. That’s some goal difference that.


    Do we win a trophy now?

    Please, so that fat w@nker fcuks off.

    Let’s all fcuking fester, let’s all fcuking fester, in the relegation zone, relegation zone.

    For 18 days.

    Let the rot set in.

    Shteve can fcukoff too the smirking halfwit.

  • 7 Goofy // Feb 13, 2016 at 7:31 PM

    Nowt to comment on really. We didn’t turn up.. end of.

  • 8 Thump // Feb 13, 2016 at 7:31 PM

    Can we vote for the worst player (Steven Taylor) instead?

  • 9 Lindisfarne // Feb 13, 2016 at 7:32 PM

    The poor defence and coaching is to blame.

  • 10 Lindisfarne // Feb 13, 2016 at 7:33 PM

    Muppet of the match!

  • 11 AncientC // Feb 13, 2016 at 7:34 PM

    I could be wrong, but by my estimation that is only 1 win all season playing 4-2-3-1, that includes all of the preseason games.

  • 12 anthc // Feb 13, 2016 at 7:34 PM

    None deserve a vote absolute disgrace. The players should be fined and compensate the poor fans who travelled. When will our lot put a shift in away from home.

  • 13 Blackley and Brownlie // Feb 13, 2016 at 7:34 PM

    What changes Ed? We’re a busted flush. You and so many others were happy with out business in the window when we did nothing to improve our defence or attack.

    Our only hope now is that Jib can fiddle our goal difference.

  • 14 Goofy // Feb 13, 2016 at 7:34 PM


    Think they are a step ahead of you., well 5 of them, possibly mackems.

  • 15 scout // Feb 13, 2016 at 7:35 PM

    Who puts Taylor up against Costa???? Sacked

  • 16 Online Guy // Feb 13, 2016 at 7:35 PM

    What can one say ? nonplussed here.

  • 17 ilovetoon8788 // Feb 13, 2016 at 7:35 PM

    Taylor sissoko were the worst players today. We completely lost the midfield once Tiote left. This 3-5-2 is becoming an embarrassing. Mclaren still persist on using it. I wonder What’s in his head.

    We need a new manager or we are going down. We need to hope Norwich and the scums drop points. I have no hope in us to get to safety by ourselves.

  • 18 GeordieTwo // Feb 13, 2016 at 7:36 PM

    Shambolic. What was McCarver doing keeping Aarons on as LB? Ridiculous. Should have started Colback at LB and gone 4-4-2 from the start. An isolated striker is pointless. Doumbia had no better chance than Mitro. McCarver is a football dunce.

  • 19 toonluvva // Feb 13, 2016 at 7:36 PM

    For as long as we don’t turn up for away matches we will remain in and around the bottom 3.

    We were woeful in every department. Chelsea could have won this match with just 9 men today!

    The question now is whether McClaren is the man to bang heads together and get the players to respond for future matches. If he can’t, then Chumpionship here we come!

    Worse still, a letter from NUFC turned up today reminding me that my season ticket is being renewed! Will I get a discount for championship footie?

  • 20 NoahJ // Feb 13, 2016 at 7:36 PM

    As with the Everton match, it’s not the fact that we lost, it’s the manner in which we lost. Mclaren got tactics wrong across the entire team today. Stephen taylor was calamitous, coloccini woefully slow, Aarons outpositioned, sissoko lost possession constantly, wiji once again completely absent (seriously!?). Doumbia looked grossly unfit (why have we signed someone who will take probably 6 games to get match sharp?)
    The defending today was unacceptable.

    I genuinely believe that if Mclaren isn’t sacked tomorrow morning, then he will stay for the rest of the season. Now is the perfect time to replace him- a long break before the next match, and with injuries etc coming back

  • 21 Mag52 // Feb 13, 2016 at 7:37 PM

    Where do we go from here ?
    These away displays are so poor.
    Townsend must wonder what he’s let himself in for ( great goal by the way).

  • 22 Lanzatoon42 // Feb 13, 2016 at 7:38 PM


  • 23 TroubledToon // Feb 13, 2016 at 7:39 PM

    Wijnaldum should get his wages halved. Play him only in the home games. Waste of a player in away games.
    Townsend, for all the criticism we throw towards him, atleast the lad runs!! Sissokho just wanders around aimlessly.
    Aarons never had the quality to play at LB vs Chelsea. Even though he was shit, can’t really blame him too much since he wasn’t supposed to be playing there in the first place!!
    Saylor looked like a Trojan planted in our back 4 by Guus Hiddink. Absolute stinker. Wish he’d have been taken off at HT instead of Gini.
    Disgusted with our performance. Can only hope this panics Fat B@$t@rd into sacking Macca

  • 24 Lindisfarne // Feb 13, 2016 at 7:39 PM

    Shteve could have instructed Shelvey / Tiote / Sissoko to hold a strong line to snub out Chelsea’s strong attacking midfield. I know hindsight is a luxury but the weak defence was apparent very early in the match and needed attention to get us in to the game.

  • 25 Online Guy // Feb 13, 2016 at 7:41 PM

    Taylor is a yard off the pace ..carrying to much Weight
    Sissoko is bone idle.

    McClaren is an easy touch for the squad ..He’s a coach ..we need a Manager..its clear now . McClaren might just be on his bike .

    The Redknapps are angling for the Job.

  • 26 Online Guy // Feb 13, 2016 at 7:50 PM

    Chelsea players are just too F**ing clever at going down if you so much as run past them and cause a draft ..the cheating B@stards.. that’s a fact..they are clever at it and the ref was only too happy to give them free kicks all over the park

    No excuses though most of that team we have are just happy to go through the motions for the wages

    Time has come when I really have to say ..we need a new manager . McClaren has had all the time and every chance ..he’s too nice and so is the team
    Also I would like to smash Lee Dixons smug FAcking face in ,,he’s a piss taking smug B@stard

  • 27 nufconceandfuturekings // Feb 13, 2016 at 7:50 PM

    On the day the Makems beat Man U, this had to happen. How low can we go? Oh yes, that’s right, the Championship…
    I have the most terrible feeling the Makems will stay up at our expense. Too many players at this club are now biding their time till the summer, that is pretty clear from today’s debacle. And McLaren and Simpson? For God’s sake, resign.

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